Look at my girl! You know I love Christina Hendricks, so I’m anointing her “Queen of the Trashy” for last night’s Costume Institute‘s Met Ball, not so much for her electric-blue goddess gown – which really isn’t bad – but her continuing forays into clown makeup. Her styling kills me every time. However, if you’re going to have a major fashion f-ckup, there are fewer higher-profile venues with which to bring your trash. On that note, let the “Bad/Trashy Fashion” post begin!

Oh, Oprah. Oprah was the co-chair of the event, and she was dressed by her date for the evening, Mr. Oscar de la Renta. Do you like this? I didn’t. The dress makes Oprah look heavier than she actually is, and the hair is terrible:

It’s not even that I hate Jessica Biel’s dress. It’s actually kind of pretty, and it’s definitely one of the better dresses I’ve seen her in. But her styling is hideous. What’s with the stringy hair? It’s not like she rushed to the event after a full day. The bitch was photographed with JT in New York for the past three days, and she’s just been hanging out. She had time to get her hair done properly, but she paid someone to make it look like she was just washed her face in the sink.

Kristen Stewart got high and thought the dress was cute. I need to smack her stylist.

I like that Tina Fey wore pants. I like that she wore navy. I like that she was trying out a new red carpet look. But this is a failure. The jumper looks cheap, it does nothing for her figure, and her eye makeup is sh-t.

Donatella Versace, ladies in gentlemen. Trashy Hall of Fame. What kills me is that it’s not a bad dress at all – it would have rocked on a young starlet.

Laura Bush! No, it’s Marion Cotillard, wearing a dress I swear Laura Bush wore to a major event as First Lady.

Eva Mendes = wallpaper. Or maybe a couch?

Vera Farmiga looks hideous. I think she knows it, too. I spy embarrassment on her face. But, she’s pregnant. That might explain the weird fit, but in general, a designer should not make a pregnant woman look like this.

God, where I once used to enjoy Nicole Richie’s style in a “she’s a quirky little hippie” way, I now loathe it. This dress could have been interesting, but it’s not on her. And her hair is horrible. On the plus side, she looks healthy.

Kiki Dunst stars as “The Crackhead Bride”.

Joy Bryant, you look like Kleenex:

Elizabeth Banks. I really don’t get her. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s talented, she’s beautiful. Why?

Padma Lakshmi looks like hell. Bad color, bad dress, bad fit. Her makeup looks alright, though.

Ivanka Trump has drag queen style. She looks like a flamenco drag queen.

Okay, I’m going to stop there. I’m sure there should have been so many more inclusions on the list, but this is just what I’ve got so far. Wait breathlessly for the (Classy) Best Dressed post!