This week’s National Enquirer is claiming that Tiger Woods didn’t exactly bribe police outright to ignore his Thanksgiving night car accident, but that two local cops were on his payroll as bodyguards and that may have influenced police to help cover up the incident. There’s a new book out on Tiger called Tiger: The Real Story that details how Tiger got a pass on DUI charges that should have been clear cut. A subpeona to obtain Tiger’s blood work from the hospital was denied by the state attorney’s office for “insufficient evidence,” when in fact there was plenty of evidence that Tiger was under the influence – he was even sleeping on the scene of the accident.

The Enquirer has more about Tiger’s connection to the two officers, and both had shady backgrounds. Whether they pulled strings on Tiger’s behalf or if he used other means to avoid a DUI, he surely knew what he was doing by hiring them. Here’s some of the Enquirer’s report:

Two officers with the Windemere, FL, Police Department worked as bodyguards for the disgraced golfer and his family, according to a source.

Both officers… have had their own brushes with the law, and Woods paid them big money to ensure their loyalty, added the source.

“When you have as much money as Tiger, you can buy practically anything, and he bought the expertise of these two cops,” a source close to the Woodses told The Enquirer.

“I think that is what Tiger pays them for, and until the night of the accident, that’s why he’d never been associated with any hint of scandal…”

“It’s clear to me the Woods investigation was dirty from the minute the 911 call came in,” says retired FBI Special-Agent-in-Charge Ted Gunderson.

“I believe cops had no intention of finding out what really happened. I think the mission became a cover-up to make sure the facts about Tiger and Elin stayed hushed up.

“I wonder if police corruption was involved, because there still has not been a complete disclosure about what really went down that night…”

A report written by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office seems to support Gunderson’s claims.

“Information provided by the City of Windermere may, in fact, be counterproductive to the ongoing investigation into this accident,” the sheriff wrote.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 24, 2010]

The Windermere Police Department of course denies any wrong doing. The chief told The Enquirer “There absolutely was no cover up. It’s ridiculous. We got heat for something we didn’t do. We haven’t done anything wrong.” He could be telling the truth. That account is consistent with the findings of author Steve Helling, mentioned above, that cops on the scene tried to get access to Tiger’s medical records and were denied by the state attorney’s office. Tiger’s influence wasn’t just limited to the local cops that he paid. Eventually his money and connections didn’t spread far enough to cover up his massive indiscretions.

You know how Tiger has a “bulged disk/dicks” in his neck and how the pain caused him to pull out of the Players Championship last weekend? While Tiger has denied that his accident is at all related to his neck injury, some people are speculating that he has whiplash due to the accident. His injury is completely consistent with whiplash.

Shakespeare would be hard pressed to write a story as epic as the Tiger Woods tale. Billionaire sports star cheats on wife every chance he gets while trading on his false facade as a family man. He gets in an accident after a fight with his angry wife and then dozens of women come out of the woodwork. He attempts a career comeback, only to be thwarted by a neck injury caused by the accident. We still don’t know the end of this story and whether Tiger will ever be able to golf again. He may no longer be the top golfer in the world and could be struggling with this injury for the rest of his career.

Let me just add one thing that’s only slightly related but I’d like to get the word out there. If you talk on the phone while you’re driving without using a hands free headset it’s as dangerous as driving drunk. I don’t agree with Oprah that often, but I encourage you to take the “no phone zone” pledge and not drive and talk on the phone at the same time. I’m in a state where it’s still legal to talk on the phone and drive and it amazes me how many distracted drivers are out there, even with kids in the backseat. We make important choices every day, but unlike Tiger I like to think that most of us try to do the right thing.