I’ve been wanting to do just a fashion post for the Cannes Film Festival ever since the the day after Robin Hood premiered. While there was definitely some spectacular fashion happening on that night, opening night, so far Cannes has been pretty solid, fashion-wise. Sure, Kate Beckinsale is on the jury so she’s been everywhere in a dazzling array of “look at me!” gowns. But some other people have been making waves too. Like Naomi Campbell, above. How f-cking hideous is that dress on her? On someone else, it might not look like gold tin foil, but on her… yeah.

Naomi Watts has been all over the festival. I think she’s promoting something crazy like four films, including Fair Game (the Valerie Plame movie), which hasn’t even premiered yet. Here is Naomi wearing an absolutely amazing black gown to the Biutful premiere. On someone else, it might have been plain. But it looks amazing on her.

I don’t like it when Naomi wears pale colors like this. It washes her out – plus, the red lipstick isn’t helping. This is Naomi at the You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger premiere:

And here’s Naomi’s low-key/high-fashion for a photo call. Killer shoes, and she should wear more jewel tones. They work on her so well.

Some may say that Meg Ryan is no longer jacking her face. They may be right – her lips don’t seem as ridiculous as before, and she doesn’t look frozen and waxy. But whatever she was doing left lasting damage. The dress is pretty though.

Excuse me. *Picks up pieces of exploded panties.* Ladies and gentlemen, a little Javier Bardem…

I just think it’s so funny that Kate Beckinsale is posing with her leg out like this. The dress isn’t terrible, at all, but can make anything look boring and desperate. It just feels like (to me), she’s throwing out her leg like a ham hock.

Kate again, this time looking very Eva Longoria/Vanna White.

Speaking of, here’s Eva. Once again, I don’t hate the dress, it’s just boring and game-show-hostess on her. Plus, every time she shows up at these events, I can just read her thoughts: “One day, I’m going to be a big enough star to actually have a reason to be here.”

Much like Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin is in several of the movies premiering in Cannes. His wife Diane Lane showed up to support him too. I like the blue much more than the black. The black is way too old.

Guess who wasn’t even invited to Cannes but still wanted to make an appearance somewhere in the South of France? Oh, J.Lo. I love this crazy bitch. Here they are in Monte Carlo:

And that’s the end. I’m sure I’ve missed a lot of people you love or love to hate, so my bad. I also left off Salma Hayek’s appearances, which I covered yesterday. I’m sure there will be another one of these before the festival is over, so I’ve left somebody out, just put them in the comments!