People Magazine has an interview this week with the Duggars, the famous family in Arkansas that stars on a reality show with now their 19 kids. The Duggars have been dealing with so much after their youngest daughter, Josie, was born last September by emergency C-Section at only 25 weeks old and weighing just 1 lb. 6 oz. Little Josie was in the NICU unit in a hospital in Little Rock for four months. She went home briefly in April, only to have to return two days later following a medical crisis. Josie’s youngest sister, Jordyn-Grace Makiya, was also born in December just one year prior.

The Duggars are outspoken about the fact that they don’t use birth control, never will, and will let God decide how many children to give them. In their half hour reality show, which airs on TLC once a week, they are always calm and collected to a degree that can seem delusional. The family is devoutly religious and nothing seems to bother them, but they admitted to People that Josie’s premature birth and medical condition were the hardest thing they’ve ever had to deal with, and that they were fighting, crying and praying that she would pull through.

One thing that really stuck out for me in this story was an anecdote by Michelle about how she tried to assert her authority over a medical test for Josie. She almost convinced her husband and the doctors not to allow a scary MRI for the infant, only to back down and eventually give her approval. Michelle also didn’t rule out another pregnancy, of course, and admitted that she’s not sure if she’s pregnant again. Michelle Duggar is a 43 year old grandmother and has 19 children from the age of five months to 22 years.

Here’s some of what the Duggars told People, and I really feel for them after reading what they’ve been through:

While doctors try to determine why Josie, born three months prematurely, is now struggling to digest normally, the couple are just grateful for their littlest girl’s continued survival. We’ve never walked through anything like this,” Michelle says. Agrees Jim Bob: “the first 72 hours in the NICU rock your world. This is like surviving a hurricane…

This has tested our marriage and family relationships. It tests the foundation of your soul. Our prayer is that we stay close,” Jim Bob says. “We have totally felt overwhelmed – we didn’t know if Josie was going to live or die or what kind of problems she would have. It’s tough to accept all these things.” And under these conditions, even the most serene couple can start to clash. “When you are under pressure, you have the tendency to be quick to anger and become self-centered,” Jim Bob admits. “We try to have a loving response instead of a sharp one.”

But it isn’t always easy. The couple find themselves struggling over how to make the right decision for their baby’s well being – and they don’t always see eye to eye. When Josie was scheduled to have an MRI as part of an optional study, Michelle worried the loudness of the machines would cause her baby further stress. Jim Bob thought the test was a good idea in order to see how Josie’s brain was developing – until Michelle woke up in the middle of the night, panicked and convinced the test should not proceed. “Jim Bob and I talked about it,” Michelle says. “He said we should pray about it, and then it would be up to me.” In the end, Michelle allowed the test – but it was halted when Josie became too upset by the entire process – much as Michelle had feared.

[When Josie had to return to the hospital after her vitals dropped] “I was terrified. I was thinking. ‘My baby is going to die. I am losing her now.’ I held her skin-to-skin in the ambulance, trying to warm her,” says Michele. “I was crying out to the Lord for her life because I didn’t know what was going on.”

After a frantic race back to the hospital, Josie has stabilized, growing to an impressive 6 lb. 9 oz. But complex questions remain about her condition. Unable to normally digest her feedings, Josie needs enemas ever six hours and constant staff assistance. Ligaments that should keep her stomach in place are weak or nonexistent; portions of her intestines are similarly mobile. Doctors next plan on a surgery to repair three hernias; they may also try to anchor certain organs in place…

As for whether Jim Bob and Michelle will continue to procreate… the couple say they are ready and willing to have more kids – perhaps sooner rather than later. “I don’t know… it’s possible,” Michelle says simpley, when asked if she might already be pregnant. As Jim Bob explains, he and Michelle remain ready to face any challenge – including the public criticism that could accompany yet another pregnancy: “We trust God with our lives, our children, our future. Let’s pass this test. Let’s have the right response.”

[From People Magazine, May 31, 2010]

In April, we ran a story in which the mother of a premature baby criticized the Duggars for both allowing cameras around fragile Josie and acting so nonchalant about her condition. In terms of how eerily mellow they are, the Duggars believe that God controls everything, and that He makes the decisions for them. A lot of people feel that way, and while I can’t personally relate I admire how the Duggars go through life without looking like a damn thing stresses them out. Whether that’s ignorant or wiser than the rest of us is a matter of perspective I guess.

They should really give it a rest, though, and realize that it’s not healthy for Michelle or any potential offspring if she continues to have children. Even if God is calling the shots, I don’t get the idea that it’s ok to have as many kids as you want, even if that puts people’s lives at risk. It’s probably all in the Bible, right? I never could figure that thing out. Maybe it’s easier when you pick and chose passages to take at face value. At least Josie is hanging in there and we hope that things look up for that little one soon. She certainly has plenty of people who love her and are pulling for her.