This is a pretty boring Rolling Stone cover. If you got Russell Brand to sit down for a crazy interview, wouldn’t you choose to do a more interesting cover? Is it just me? Although a British site is already pointing out that Russell seems to have shaved his happy trail. Is that shocking? Maybe it is if you’re British? Eh. Anyway, I don’t have the complete interview yet, but there are already some interesting excerpts. Lots of c-ck talk. Hurray.

“I’m constantly distracted by my ambition, narcissism, vanity, desire, lust… I don’t pretend to enjoy anonymity.”

Brand opens up about everything from his rough working-class childhood (“[I was] tubby and unlovely and odd and obscure and bland,” he says) to his battle with a debilitating drug addiction. Brand has since kicked his addictions, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still get his rocks off.

“Whilst on tour, I masturbate a little bit, but not too much,” Brand admits. “It’s similar to the monkeys you see masturbating at the zoo, where it’s like ‘Zookeeper! Zookeeper! There’s something wrong with that monkey! And then, of course, if you ejaculate onto yourself, there’s that beautiful, transcendent, orgasmic moment of relief, then you walk to the bathroom, clean up and you catch yourself in the mirror and it’s like, ‘I don’t know what you’re looking at! Kings have done that!'”

With six feature films in the works, Brand is poised to supersaturate the country, but he still has some demons to overcome. “Going on a voyage of self-discovery isn’t as exciting as getting your c-ck sucked while chomping on chocolate and playing Nintendo, is it?” Brand wonders. “Ultimately, it’s more gratifying. And my life will be ascetic and about denial. But I’m not there yet, so the conflict continues.”

On proposing to Katy Perry: “It was amazing. I didn’t make the decision (to propose). It just rolled out like a carpet to walk upon. But now I’ve met someone who I care about enough for change to become an imperative. She’s a perfectly lovely, decent person, good fun and engaging, easy to be around and interesting. Meeting her changed me. With her, I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling some bizarre psychological fetish… I want to be in union with her and in denial of my biological drives… I hope it works. It’s a new experience for me.”

[Excerpts from Rolling Stone via RS online and The Sun]

I could have done without the masturbation story, but I guess that’s why Russell’s a famous comedian and I’m not. I mentioned in another post- Russell’s interview in Playboy – that I do find him funny and charming at times. But I sometimes wonder if he’s reaching too hard to be shocking. Oh, and he continues to sound like it’s really difficult for him to NOT cheat on Katy Perry. Yeah… seriously, good luck with that.

Also, here’s behind-the-scenes video of Russell at his Rolling Stone photo shoot:

Cover courtesy of CoverAwards.