Several days ago, Renee Zellweger somehow managed to get pap’d while she was shopping. Radar breathlessly theorized that Renee was shopping for a wedding dress because: “Fact #1 – Zellweger, who is involved with handsome actor Bradley Cooper, spent more than two hours browsing in the store. Fact #2 – After she entered the store, a rack of gorgeous wedding dresses was wheeled by. Fact #3 – When the Cold Mountain star left the store, she was carrying a long garment in a zippered bag. Fact #4 – When Zelweger was asked if she was getting married, she didn’t confirm or deny it — she just smiled the whole time.” See the Radar photos here.

Now Page Six has picked up on the story, and they’re pretty much saying it’s on. Renee and Bradley, getting hitched, for real:

Clues point to an imminent wedding for Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger. First, Zellweger was photographed last week by Star magazine at the Carolina Herrera boutique in West Hollywood, where a big rack of wedding gowns was wheeled by. After browsing for two hours, she left with a garment bag.

“She just kept smiling when asked if she’s getting married,” the weekly reports.

Second, she and Cooper had lunch with her parents yesterday at the Tribeca Grand. Could it be he asked her father for her hand in marriage?

[From Page Six]

Michael K at Dlisted already noted why Renee is repeating the whole “marrying a ‘mo” pattern, so I won’t go there (plus, Michael K’s version is hysterical). Instead, I’ll take a different tact: let’s say, for argument’s sake, that Bradley is straight, that he loves nothing more than getting down and dirty with… ladies. That leaves even bigger questions, I’m afraid. No matter how many tabloids run stories about how Renee is really nice and good person, I’ve really started to feel nothing but pity and anger towards her lately. Pity because she tries so hard and falls so short, and because her image of herself isn’t what the rest of the world sees. Anger because she was a cute and very talented actress who has resorted to… whatever she is now. A frozen shell of Botoxed faux cuteness, incapable of making a half-decent movie. Is Renee clinging to Bradley like she’s clinging to relevance? Or is something dirtier and grosser happening here?

As I was finishing this up, CB wrote to me: “I just watched Bradley Cooper on Regis and Kelly, trying to get some quotes to use and he really didn’t say much. My gaydar did beep a little on him, though. I see what you mean.” It’s the smugness that makes him beep, truly. Guys that come across that arrogant always seem like they’re overcompensating, to me at least. Oh… CB says that when he was on Regis & Kelly, Mark Consuelos asked Bradley who his favorite on-screen kiss was, and Bradley replied after a moment of thinking: “I kissed Michael Ian Black in Wet Hot American Summer. Big hit, thank you. They all know that one… Top of my head, yeah. That’s the one that popped in.” Ugh, is he trying to tell us something? CB says he and Kelly both looked uncomfortable. Eh, it’s not like we’re ever going to get a definitive answer on the eternal “Is he a ‘mo?” question.

Renee on May 1 & 3, 2010. Bradley on June 5, 2010. Credit: WENN.