Star: Lindsay Lohan’s “Suicide Drama”

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You know what sucks? Star Magazine is like the only tabloid to correctly judge the mood of the gossip world. Lindsay is this week’s Star cover girl, and their story looks juicy – “Suicide Drama!” Right? Guess what Life & Style has this week? Kim Kardashian and her “revenge” diet and hookup. In Touch Weekly? That Bachelorette crap. WTF? Do the tabloids even know how much juicy gossip there is about Mel Gibson’s insanity and Lindsay Lohan? I’m honestly shocked.

Anyway, the Star cover and Lindsay’s “suicide drama”. Oddly enough, an internet sprang up several hours ago that Lindsay was dead – but she’s not. Just FYI. As for the dramz, I could see it. Star hasn’t released their cover story yet, but I’m assuming that “under 24/7 Watch” is probably very true. Even though I doubt her parents give a sh-t, I suspect there are at least a few people around Lindsay who recognize that she’s in a really bad place and want to ensure that she stays alive, at least until it’s time to actually put her ass in jail. I am expecting more drama though – Lindsay doesn’t have to turn herself in for another six days, and that means a lot of crackhead drama is incipient. Speaking of – Lindsay’s new “track” was accidentally “leaked” on the internet. Behold, Blohan’s “Too Young To Die”. My favorite lyric? “Now I’m in trouble, yea, yea –

Two more stories – first, PopEater has a hilarious story about “What Lindsay Could Learn From Lil’ Wayne”. They’re drawing parallels between Lil’ Wayne and Lindsay, and it’s a great read. Secondly, some tabloids (like The Sun) have been running grossly gleeful pieces about the potential rape of Lindsay Lohan in prison. Now – I think Lindsay is an a-hole, I think she deserves to go to prison, but can we stop with the rape talk? Besides the nastiness of that subject, it’s bullsh-t. Lindsay is going to be in her own cell, and will likely be kept from the rest of the population.

Actress Lindsay Lohan appears in court during a probation status hearing relating to her August 2007 no contest pleas to two counts each of DUI and being under the influence of cocaine, along with a reckless driving charge, at the Beverly Hills Municipal Courthouse, in Beverly Hills, California on July 6, 2010.   UPI/David McNew/Pool Photo via Newscom

Actress Lindsay Lohan (L) reacts with her attorney Shawn Chapman Holley following the sentencing by Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel during a probation status hearing in Beverly Hills, California on July 6, 2010. Revel sentenced Lohan to 90 days in jail Tuesday after ruling she violated probation in a 2007 drug case by failing to attend court-ordered alcohol education classes.  UPI/David McNew/Pool Photo via Newscom

Actress Lindsay Lohan (L) reacts with her attorney Shawn Chapman Holley following her sentencing by Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel during a probation status hearing in Beverly Hills, California on July 6, 2010. Revel sentenced Lohan to 90 days in jail Tuesday after ruling she violated probation in a 2007 drug case by failing to attend court-ordered alcohol education classes.  UPI/David McNew/Pool Photo via Newscom

Star Mag cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

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45 Responses to “Star: Lindsay Lohan’s “Suicide Drama””

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  1. Ogechi says:

    My God, this girl needs help. Hope she stays strong to survive d storm. I wish her the best.

  2. autotron says:

    Why do “stars” keep releasing these boring, slow “pop” songs (i.e.: Heidi Montag)? Do they hear them at all while they are recording them? Do they genuinely think the song is badass? In what scenario/planet is this song the perfect choice? I literally dont understand, in the recording studio dont you have to listen to a given song multiple times? I listen to the radio these days and I (A) wish I hadnt, and (B) wonder where I can get the good shit that makes all of these shitty rap songs and pop ballads pass for music…like, it must be everywhere because all i hear is TERRIBLE MUSIC

  3. viper says:

    Oh sad is the world….but at least lindsey is going to jaaaaaaaaail.

  4. Lway says:

    i’ll Fed-ex some rope and blades off to her right away. How immature can you get……… if she wants to kill herself then let her do it ……… even that dirty Pete Dorothy couldn’t pull it off. They’re too addicted to the attention to actually harm themselves to that extent.

    Grow up Lindsay – deal with the consequences of your actions for a change!

  5. YT says:

    The brat will only commit hokey drama; not suicide.

  6. IceKitty says:

    @autotron – That’s exactly why I haven’t listened to the radio in YEARS…It’s all crap!! I couldn’t even make it a minute into Lindsay’s crapfest…

  7. JaisyMaisy says:

    Uh, yeah…Lindsay isn’t going to PRISON…she’s going to JAIL. There’s a big difference there. Sheesh.

  8. meme says:

    I don’t care what happens to her anymore. I don’t think she’s going to jail. I do think she is going to make A TON of money off this dramafest.

  9. Novaraen says:

    Well she does seem to like putting guns to her mouth….sooooo……..

    Naaa….Lindsey loves herself too much to kill herself.

  10. Maritza says:

    She’ll do and say anything so she won’t have to go to jail. She deserves to go to jail, no cigarette smoking and no cellphone and most important no drugs. What better rehab than that, she’ll be alone with her own thoughts. Besides it won’t be a full term 90 days. She should be happy that the tabloids will pay her big bucks when she’s out.

  11. MSat says:

    That song is sooooooo STUPID! Also, her singing sucks. I love how she is STILL blaming all her problems on Samantha, even in song form.

  12. sabine says:

    Did Lindsey have those nasty lip injections again? Ughhhh

  13. Carey says:

    I feel broken by the ugly comments above. Who, with any compassion or humanity, talks about the potential death of a sick, confused child with such thoughtless disregard? Look who we are becoming….

  14. bellaluna says:

    So the suicide rumours have started…took longer than I thought. I just want to see her go to jail. And rehab.

  15. Jazz says:

    The tabloids always have Brangelina breakup crap, right down to their entire supposed arguments word for word, on the cover and they miss the real gossip that goes on. Those Kartrashian idiots must have a contract with Life & Style or something.

    As for Lindsay, STFU and go and do your measly 25 days or whatever it is while all the heat is on Mel Gibson. It’s not like she’ll be doing any real time among the general population anyway.

  16. Tess says:

    What a colossal waste.

    A depressing example of the effect selfish, irresponsible parents can have on their children.

  17. mojoman says:

    Not that I believe anything STAR says but seriously, this girl has the mentality of a toddler.

  18. Belle Epoch says:

    You know how on “Intervention” they whisk the addict right off to rehab?

    You’re never supposed to tell an addict that the next day they are going to get clean – classic addict behavior is to have a huge blowout and use up everything they can before they go.

    I wonder what LL will do right before she goes to jail. If jail actually happens.

  19. Melissa says:

    This song SUCKS!!!

  20. Dr. Remulak says:

    What she needs is someone to give her a hard smack in the face & tell her to shut up and gut it out. She’s still young enough to salvage her career, if she plays it right she could someday be a real actress again.

  21. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Bad song, its just mediocre pop cr*p

    A headline read;

    ‘Lindsay’s spell in jail won’t affect her p0rn star role’

    Jail & p0rn star in same sentence – this girl has fallen so far, she really needs proper help and a huge wake-up – sad!

  22. Stella says:

    @Carey- LL is NOT a child! She is not even close to being a child. People need to stop referring to her as one and realize that she is more than capable of taking responsibility for her actions!

  23. Ruby Red Lips says:

    http://blindgossip.com/?p=20029&cpage=1#comment-127267

    A blind about Lindsay and a member of her family – possible Dina – which would explain an awful lot about Dina’s denial of Lindsay’s addictions – IMO namely as she is doing the same!

  24. geraldo says:

    That song sucks ass.

  25. Kate says:

    I hope she talks her way out of jail like Paris and than …HAHAHAHA…get dragged from her house BALLING!!! I just pray she does the whole 90 days after her offensive F**K U finger job to the JUDGE! I hope she SUFFERS and balls herself into a fetal position! MENTAL MIDGET please do kill yourself just to make me laugh!

  26. popcorny says:

    All things lowhan’d, post sentencing, has been a non-story.
    Nothing worth covering other than on an internet gossip site.
    Who wants to PAY to read dinawhorus’s latest “save the life of my child” delusion (with props to simon & garfunkel) or for their lawyer-shopping?
    Same for the oxmel debacle, it’s just re-hash of the same after the initial story-break, -it’s just a new sprinkle of adjectives here and there.
    It’s just filthy stuff -and not exactly of the titillating kind either.
    The nation is already in a depression, so I’m glad the checkout lines are a lot less saturated with this useless ugly repetition obnoxiously ,and blatantly, packaged to sell copies.
    A drunk and/or deranged mel and a pus-infected scab named lindsey -thank you notes are in order for the magazines who’ve restrained them (whatever their reasons) from looming like the coughing plague over my foodbasket at the checkout line.

  27. zen says:

    @ Stella
    Thank you for posting what I was thinking.
    This waste of life is NOT a child, she’s 24.
    I kind of hope she does off herself just so I dont have to read about her or her pathetic family any more and Im not really the type to wish that on someone but these ppl make me sick.
    She should have been in jail a long time ago and her mother needs to be in a mental institution.

  28. flourpot says:

    Her biggest worry about going to jail is not being able to smoke. Read that again. Um hmm, Yeah – I don’t care about this one at all.

  29. Jeri says:

    I’m kind of surprised we haven’t seen pictures of her going in & out of clubs since her court date. Of course it’s the smart thing to stay out of the clubs but whenever has Lindsay done the smart thing.

    Also, I hope Sam was just supporting her sobriety.

  30. birdgherl says:

    AutoTune needs to be outlawed.

  31. Lady D says:

    @Ruby Red Lips,
    Tough call, posters on that site are flipping back and forth between Dina and Ali. I think it is probably Dina too.
    Side note: Does anyone know, how do you pronounce Dina? Is it Deanna or Dinah? Thanks…

  32. logan says:

    Maybe she wouldn’t have to go to jail and rehab if—-wait for it—–she would stop being S T U P I D.
    My 7 year old nephew has more sense than her and he picks his nose all the time.

  33. Sugar & Spice says:

    @ Lady Di – it’s pronounced DEENA

  34. Vincenza says:

    They are already spoofing on her would be lawyer. Someone made him David Caruso of CSI Miami off of his pathetic self promoting videos from his website that was posted at Dlisted.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNe0VYm4WmQ

  35. original kate says:

    i would rather listen to that other recent autotune hit, “money can’t buy you class” a hundred times before i listen to this piece of crap again… at least the countess is funny.

  36. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    @Lway- I was thinking the same thing.

  37. Stjepko says:

    Lindsay has basically been chased around by the paparazzi ever since she made it. Both her parents are pathetic, her dad is an unstable psychopath. Her mother is leach, happy to spend her daughters money and gain some publicity.
    Lindsay really needs help. Jail isn’t going to provide that help. She needs intensive rehab, I don’t mean just 2 weeks of it either or 90 days she needs rehab for a whole year so she can get herself together.

    I like the reference to ‘how she deserves to go to jail’ She doesn’t. The truth of the matter is if it was an ordinary person they would have got bail, good behavior, and then re offended and the same shyt.

    Look when Paris went to jail for the short time how dramatized it all was and when she came out it was all fun and games she reflected on nothing at all but the difference there is she had supportive parents who may not give a shyt what their daughter does but will be there 100 percent.

    Lindsay needs help and help fast, because I think this time in jail wont be good for her, I do see her dying anytime from now and before 5 years. If she doesn’t get the help. Would be a shame because she is a great person who most people want to see fail and break.

  38. CB Rawks says:

    “she’ll be alone with her own thoughts”

    Yikes!!

  39. Chris says:

    I want Dina Lohan to hook up with Mel Gibson. That’d be absolute gold.

  40. Anon says:

    her suicide stories are bs…she’s a narcissist, narcissists don’t kill themselves, they love themselves too much….she just thinks if she acts like she’s going to kill herself it will keep her out of jail.

  41. MissyA says:

    She loves herself waaaaay too much to actually harm herself at this point. Self-absorbed and absolutely delusional. Plus, it’s the first time in a loooong time she could actually be making some serious cash.

    Maybe she’ll get attention from her “friends” and family by taking a couple extra pills and talking morosely – but that’s all she wants. Attention.

    I say this having very intimate knowledge on the subject. I sincerely doubt Lindsay Lohan is seriously contemplating suicide at this point.

    Give it a few years.

  42. Tes says:

    Can you guys here yourselves? You have never met her, but you say she is “Self-absorbed and absolutely delusional.” Has anyone ever taught you not to judge people. It is people who judge people that send people over the edge.

    I am not trying to judge you guys, but all the information you hear about her is from tabloids making the stories as juicy as possible to make money.

    We are not all perfect. How can you expect her to be?

  43. CB Rawks says:

    “You have never met her, but you say she is “Self-absorbed and absolutely delusional.”

    Yeeeah. Based on every illegal thing she did and her obnoxious childish behaviour in court and the fact that she doesn’t believe she even deserves punishment.
    Don’t let facts slow you down, though.

  44. Samantha says:

    Poor Her! She needs a lot of support & help!
    I hope she is strong now to face her problems!

  45. Rhett says:

    I find this SO amusing… I’m laughing my #@! off! Ha ha hah! It’s all Party-barf-party-barf-cry-party-barf-cut yourself-cry harder-party-attempt suicide-party-suicide-party-barf-party-cut yourself-barf-scuicide-cry some more… Ha ha ha! It’s more entertaining than watching a game of friggin’ pinball, these emotional roller coasters… HA ahah!