According to Page Six, Michael Jackson is swearing off women. Yes, I had the same reaction you’re having right now: who knew women were still in the running with Jacko? Well apparently they are – at least enough to deserve a swearing off. Michael has found himself in all kinds of financial trouble in the last few years – and it’s only gotten worse. Apparently the resulting inability to buy nine dozen camels and diamond-encrusted lily pads for his seven indoor ponds has forced Jackson to get back to work. He’s hired some of the best producers around – and sworn off all distractions, including the ladies.

Michael Jackson’s legal bills have prompted him to go back to work – and this time he’s serious. He’s hired music producers RedOne and Akon to mastermind his new album, and the trio began working together at the Palms recording studio in Las Vegas Wednesday. “Michael is producing the album himself and then will sell it to a record company when he’s finished,” our spy said. To maintain the utmost concentration, “Michael has banned his kids from the recording studio. He realizes this is very important and doesn’t want any distractions.” Jacko has also sworn off women for the time being, despite never seeming to care much for them anyway. Jackson – who supposedly had been seeing his children’s nanny, Grace Rwaramba – told pals, “He’s not going to be involved in any personal relationships with women until he gets this record done. He’s dumped the nanny – she’s not around any more.”

[From Page Six]

Don’t feel badly, I’m giggling hysterically too. How much do you think Michael had to pay that friend to leak such obvious bullshit to the press? I realize the whole point is that he doesn’t have much cash – but clearly he’s got enough to bribe people into telling blatant lies. The rumors about him being involved with Grace Rwaramba have been floating around for quite a while. But unless Grace is really a man, I think it’s pretty safe to say she was never much of a distraction in the first place. Good luck Michael. May you work in undistracted glory.

Here’s Michael Jackson being chased by fans while shopping on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles on November 15th. Images thanks to WENN.