The family seems “normal,” likable
After watching the first episode of the new TLC reality show Sister Wives, about a polygamist fundamentalist Mormon family in Utah, I have to say that they came across as likable. (You can watch the first episode online if you’re in the US.) All of the wives were very comfortable with each other, they seemed to have made a personal and informed choice to live in a polygamist family, and the children seemed happy and well adjusted. Kody Brown has three wives and thirteen biological children. (Technically twelve in the first episode with one on the way.) He’s about to add a fourth wife with her own three kids to the mix and that will of course disrupt the well established balance in their family. Kody may be the one adult male in the household, but it’s clear that his wives run things and are calling the shots. He comes across as an affable guy who is happy to play along while making sure that he’s there for each of his wives as much as he can manage.

Browns do not represent reality of polygamy
It’s important to note that this family is not representative of all polygamists, just like the Duggars are not representative of families with over a dozen kids. This is a well off Hallmark version of a polygamist family and in no way captures how oppressive polygamy under fundamentalist Mormonism can be, particularly when it’s not a choice for the wives as we saw in the Texas compound that was raided two years ago. As many of you pointed out in our earlier stories on this family, this is a sanitized version of polygamy that makes it seem acceptable and like a legitimate choice. It’s not and the reality is usually much harsher for children and women.

Moms tout the benefits of having “Sister Wives”
Kody married all three of his wives young and was married to all of them before any of them had their first child. So all of their kids grew up with those three moms. Each mom explained in the pilot episode how it works for them, and they all touted the benefits of having help so they had more time to themselves. For instance the second mom Janelle has six kids but she works out of the home from around 7am to 7pm. She feels comfortable knowing that her “Sister Wife” Christine is raising her six children as if they are her own. Meri, the first wife, studies psychology. She has one daughter, 14, and said she wanted more kids but it never happened to her. She was reassured by the fact that if something happened to her “Janelle and Christine would be there to raise my daughter.” Christine loves being around kids and says they’re all hers.

Children are offered educational opportunities
The kids used to all be homeschooled but they’ve gone to a private school for children from polygamist families for around five years. It’s likely some of them will go to college, and there was a scene where Janelle told one of her teen daughters that “You’re not getting married until you go to college and you get yourself an education.” She also expressed disgust for arranged marriages and said “ultimately I hope they marry for love.”

They get jealous but get over it
Both Meri and Christine come from polygamist families. Janelle wasn’t raised as a polygamist, but she said that “it really didn’t seem so strange” for her and that she was friends with the first wife, Meri, for a few years before she married Kody. Meri explained that there is jealousy sometimes but that it’s natural and they work it out. She explained that they all have sex individually with Kody and that there’s nothing “strange” going on.

A new woman upsets the balance
The part where Kody is “courting” another woman and announces to the kids that Robyn and her three kids may join the family came at the end of the first episode. That was uncomfortable, especially when we saw Kody and Robyn on a date. They’ve only been dating three months and he’s going to ask her to join his family but wanted to check with his kids first. (He’d already told his other wives.) Both Janelle and Meri seemed ok with Robyn joining the family, with Meri saying she might be jealous but she’d get over it. Christine said she might have a problem with it, but as she explained in an appearance on the Today Show last week she’s since managed to work it out with Robyn and they get along fine. During the family meeting the older kids told their dad that they had some concerns, but that they liked Robyn and her kids and thought it would be ok.

Made polygamy seem like a legitimate choice
Overall I enjoyed the show and found it interesting. I’ve never seen how a “modern” polygamist family works and I have kind of a “live and let live” approach to it in this particular instance. Again, I’m not talking about the compounds where the adolescent males are forced out and the teen girls are married off, raped and abused. Nor am I talking about any other families that I have no clue about. There is a sad oppressive reality of polygamy and is part of the reason why it’s illegal. Technically Kody has only legally married his first wife, Meri, and is trying to skirt around the law that way. As many of you pointed out, it’s vastly unfair and sexist that one man can have multiple wives under this “faith,” but that one woman can’t have several husbands.

On the Today show, Christine said that she hopes that they’ll bring wider acceptance to polygamy. “Polygamy is a hidden culture. We really don’t want to be hidden anymore. We really would like it to be more open. We’d like our children to have the benefits of living in an open society. I was raised in this lifestyle and really kind of fear-based and I’d rather not have that for my children.”

Browns are under investigation for felony bigamy
Only polygamy is still a felony, and now that the Browns have gone public they’re under investigation. People Magazine reports that they’re being investigated by police in Levi, Utah for felony bigamy, “a third-degree felony in Utah [that] is rarely investigated.” These people may be made an example of. A representative for the local police department stated that “at the conclusion of the investigation, the evidence will be forwarded to the Utah County Attorney’s Office for review and possible prosecution.” As I said in our earlier story on this, the Browns have no idea what they’re getting into by starring on a reality show.