The hooker that alleged that she and David Beckham had sex five times in 2007 is named Irma Nici. I haven’t memorized her name thus far just because, why? Why would I want to remember a hooker’s name? I have an encyclopedic memory for even D-list celebrity names, which is how I can recall “Premo Stallion” at a moment’s notice (he is the alleged baby-daddy of Kourtney Kardashian’s Mason Dixon). But now I’m going to have put Irma Nici in the old memory bank, because this bitch is bringing it. Ever since she told her story of vanilla sex seduction with David Beckham to In Touch, Irma has been big news. Add to that the little fact that Beckham is suing Irma as well as In Touch – well, Irma is now a full-fledged hooker-celebrity, like Rachel Uchitel.

Not content to simply lay there and take the lawsuit like a pro, Irma has taken to the British press – who care a lot more about this than the American press – to defend herself through various “sources.” The British press don’t care for her, though. They’re butt-hurt that they didn’t break the story. But I love how Irma is defending herself – she’s threatening to tell all about the “distinguishing characteristics” on Beckham’s dong. Excellent.

THE lying hooker who claimed she had a threesome with David Beckham challenged him yesterday to “drop his pants in court” to prove his innocence. Irma Nici insisted she knew intimate “distinguishing characteristics”. Becks sources branded her a desperate, raving liar, and he has lodged a £16million writ.

Sources close to the soccer legend hit out after the 26-year-old Bosnian hooker challenged him to drop his pants in court to prove his innocence. Nici – who was yet again unable to provide any evidence to support her allegations – claimed she had seen “distinguishing characteristics” which would support her story. But Team Beckham lawyers vowed to step up their bid to sue her and the US magazine which published the vile slur for £16million damages.

And a Beckham source said: “This should be seen for what it is – the ravings of a desperate woman. She is a malicious fantasist without a single shred of evidence to support her pack of lies. The writs stand against her, the magazine and its publishers. The statement is further proof that she has absolutely no evidence. If she had, she would have disclosed it by now to one of the many publications she has been trying to hawk her story to. It is not surprising that she’s had no takers.”

The source added: “Attention is now being focused on the magazine publishers as to why they maliciously went ahead with this article, knowing it was based on lies.”

Nici’s management said earlier: “Irma stands by her previous statements. Any lawsuit against her is a publicity stunt and without merit. Any attorney who brings an action against her should be prepared to face sanctions and pay all legal costs because they will lose. There is more to the story that Irma hasn’t told yet. We are highly confident that Irma can provide enough detail and other forms of proof to persuade a jury that her tryst with David Beckham did indeed take place. Mr Beckham had better be prepared to drop his pants in court if he wants to pursue this matter as he has distinguishing characteristics which will prove without a doubt that Irma is telling the truth. Mr Beckham’s baseless lawsuit is understandable. After all, he has to tell Posh something.”

Rumours have circulated for years about a distinguishing feature of the manhood of dad-of-three Becks, 35, who skippered England and has starred for LA Galaxy, Man Utd and Real Madrid.

Scheming Nici could have found these online and used them in a bid to support her claim.
Becks’ 21-page writ was lodged with a Los Angeles court on Friday. It details his claim for around £16million plus punitive damages.

In addition to Nici and US magazine In Touch, which printed the story, the mag’s publishers Bauer and its editor Michelle Lee are also named as defendants. The writ is for libel, slander and intentional infliction of emotional distress. It demands a jury trial over the printing of the allegations they had been told were not true.

Nici has spent four days locked in a tiny room in New York’s W Hotel with her madam and agent Kristin Davis, while trying again to sell her seedy story to other media outlets for £200,000. Three burly men were last night staking out the hotel, waiting to swoop on the call girl and serve her with the writ.

The raven-haired hooker – real surname Nezirovic – claims she romped with Becks in London and New York in 2007 and had three-in-a-bed sex with him and another call girl. But her story is riddled with inconsistencies. Meanwhile the soccer superstar and wife Victoria, 36, have engaged former SAS soldiers to help destroy Nici’s claims.

The elite fighting specialists were told over the weekend: “This woman must be hunted down, her hideout identified and kept under constant surveillance. The brief is that no expense will be spared and only the best security brains employed.”

One ex-Special Forces operative was asked to corner the hooker at her hotel and serve her with the writ. A source said: “A former SAS man in London was asked to feed information to other operatives – including a former British policeman – that had been scrambled in Los Angeles and New York. Experts have been alerted to the fact that Nici may head to London for talks with the publicist Max Clifford and are already drawing up plans to keep her on their radar.”

Posh took sons Romeo, eight, and Cruz, five, to see Becks play for LA Galaxy last Friday – his first start since rupturing his achilles tendon.

He later shrugged off the slurs to continue his work as a soccer ambassador, boosting England’s hopes of hosting the 2018 World Cup. He met young players and officials at the final of the FIFA Under-17 Women’s World Cup in Trinidad and promoted the work of his football academy in the Caribbean.

[From The Sun]

Um… because the best way for Beckham to prove his innocence is to send mercenaries to hunt the hooker down? Yes, that sounds… psychotic.

Also: is there really a rumor going around about David Beckham’s dong? How unusual is this thing? Is it, like, a weird mole? Does it have an extreme curve to the left? Does it do tricks?