Jenny McCarthy has been all over the place this week, promoting her new book, Love, Lust and Faking It. She memorably went on Oprah and talked about breaking up with Jim Carrey because it “wasn’t fun anymore.” She also talked about her hairy cooter. Yeah. I actually watched 20 minutes of Oprah’s interview with Jenny and I came out of it… well, I still think Jenny is a vapid a–hole who should seriously consider growing up. But I revise my opinion of her from the other day – I don’t think she’s malicious, and I don’t think she spoke about Jim or their relationship with any sort of meanness. I respected that she made the effort to talk about her responsibility in the breakup, and all of that. So: still a vapid a–hole, but she’s got a few good qualities.

That being said, f-ck me, she grates on my nerves. She did another interview, this time with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush. Bush gets her to talk about her dong rules, how horny she is, and how she fantasizes about Brad Pitt peeing on her (I think):

Move over “Cougar Town,” Jenny McCarthy is the real deal. In a new – and quite outrageous– interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, the uncensored former Playboy Playmate revealed that in her late 30s, she’s feeling sexier – and more lustful — than ever.

“Dispel a myth for men: Do women lust as much as men lust?” Billy asked Jenny in the interview promoting her sexy new book, “Love, Lust & Faking It: The Naked Truth about Sex, Lies, And True Romance.”

“No, you guys! I mean, mind you, as we get older, I’ve noticed, now being 37, I’m much more horny than I was in my 20s,” she said.

“How horny are you – scale of 1-10?” Billy asked.

“I’m about a 9.8,” Jenny laughed, uproariously.

The blonde bombshell didn’t stop there – in her book, she sets the story straight on “man junk”… so Billy asked her the question men really want to know.

“Does size matter?” he probed.

“Size definitely helps, but the thing is, you don’t need big,” she said. “Average is awesome. Standard issue is awesome!”

While Jenny is happy to talk about sex, she revealed she’s been rather prudent on another sexual matter.

“Do you have a sex tape?” Billy asked.

“Oh, I love that question. No I don’t have a sex tape and I’m kind of upset that I don’t. You know why? ‘Cause I’m really good,” she laughed.

Jenny’s book gets into bisexuality, something in which Jenny admits to have dabbled.

“Do you like girls or no?” Billy asked.

“Me being a Playmate? Of course. Being around naked women, something is going to happen,” she revealed. “Yeah, I’ve played around.”

In addition to a host of sexy revelations, Jenny’s book also includes secrets from her dreams – one of which featured Brad Pitt.

“My [dream] night with Brad Pitt in the book is one of the best nights ever,” she said. “He’s just as hot as you think he is; his butt is beautiful and he can pee like a race horse. That’s all I can tell you ‘cause Angelina might be mad.”

[From Access Hollywood]

Are we still finding this kind of junk “naughty”? That’s how Jenny is playing it. Like, “Oooh, I just said ‘penis’! HAHA, I’m in middle school! Hold this pickle!” Also, I’m so over women talking about how great they are in bed. Jenny might be awesome in bed, but unless we’re the guy buying you martinis at the Ramada bar, stop telling people that. Personally, I prefer the opener (for men and women): “I’m horrible in bed. I have issues.” It’s a better conversational gambit, honestly. If (and when) a guy says that to me, I’ll be all “Ooh, tell me!” You get it all out in the open, and if you end up sleeping with the person, you either meet their low expectations or you exceed them. Think about it!