Jessica Alba is the cover girl for the November issue of GQ UK. We are mid-way through what some are describing as Jessica’s “hotness renaissance” – she lost so much of her fan-base of younger men when she got pregnant, and Jessica has never really recovered. She tried to appeal to women – we get lots of paparazzi photos of Jessica with her daughter, and lots of fashion pics where we debate her (questionable) style. All to appeal to women in the hopes that we can make up for the cult following she gained and lost when she was The Hot Girl (circa 2005-2006). Anyway, I think Jessica is trying to go back to her “Hot Girl” roots and let men know that even though she’s a mom now, her body is still to die for. Here’s the preview video of a very moist and oily Alba for her GQ shoot:
Good lord, did they oil her up enough? Is that what men find sexy? A hot girl, dipped in oil? As for the interview, there are only a few choice quotes that have come out thus far. Let’s see how Alba feels about her hotness renaissance: “My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger…every actress out there is more beautiful than me.” She also talks about doing these kinds of shoots: “I’ve never been comfortable showing my body off. I used to have anxiety attacks before shoots.” Aw, poor baby. She’s really trying to get us to like her, isn’t she? I have to admit, she’s not as bad as some women. So I grudgingly accept that she has a career.
Photos courtesy of Popoholic & Celebrity Fashion Watcher.
“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger
yeah well, join the club
Oh cry me a river. If you’re trying to be relatable, you’re failing at it. Real women accept that we all have imperfections. You’re just insecure Jessica.
Why bother to say all that demeaning stuff about your body then pose for a mag that objectifies women- sorry girl, you can’t be a guys hot dream and womans best friend- you gotta choose.
You ladies are all bitter because she had a kid and actually stayed hot . Everything she says sound pretty normal
What in ostrich hell kind of pose is she doing at the end of the clip? I thought the shoot was sexy… and then it ended with that debauchery. Just, no.
Hey Jess, don’t look at saggy knockers as a bad thing, think positive! If you simply get naked, stick some tassels on those suckers and wander about the house, you will have your floor dusted in no time.
Ok….me too.
@Shannon…You go girl!!!!
We all accept our imperfections, that’s why we no longer wear makeup, get our hair done, had our implants removed and wear shoes that kill us.
I’m just having a little fun and agree with your view.
At least she isn’t acting like Giselle and spouting how she’s the perfect mom, perfect baby popper outer, etc.
Somebody explain to Nickynoneck what photoshop and airbrushing is…I have to go and be bitter.
She has lost her fan base, because she is boring, whiny, cranky, and can’t act to save her life.
Newsflash that’s what happens when you have a child, eh body changes big deal. Why do you think fellow actresses don’t have much of a desire to have kids. They are all body conscious it’s so nauseating!
Look at the caption on the left “Hipster Girls – Who they are and how you can get them into bed.”
Wow. Chee-zy!
@hstl 1, you had the guts to say what I was thinking.
Some of that video was pretty awkward, as is that last shot of her on this page. She looks like she’s about to pass out from heat stroke. But, I still think she’s beautiful.
Um, I have all that too but I wouldn’t mind having all that too if I looked like Jessica. She’s so pretty and is just too hard on herself…I wish!
Hstl & Leticia – calling a young child ugly says a lot about you (and not in a good way)
I think Jessica is sexy and hot and I love her!
I’ve never been a fan of Jessica, but I actually appreciate the fact that she said her boobs are saggy and she has cellulite post-kid. I know it happens to everyone who has babies (I wonder if her stomach looks like mine now?) but I still appreciate any celebrity who will admit that these things actually happen. The celebrity image culture is so fake now I guess I’m happy for any moment of truth.
The reconquista should’ve done nudity while she had the chance. Ten years from now, she’ll beg for such parts but no one will be interested.
QQ. Here – have a tissue. Oh you blow your nose with $1k bills? Sorry.
Jessica Alba is a not approved Gisele mum?
At least she’s not saying how she didn’t use her body as a “dumpster” when she was pregnant, putting down the masses. I’ve never been a fan but it actually makes me like her a little more.
She’s fishing for compliments.. Her husband should make her compliments and what he says should be only important for her and not what all these nasty dirty old guys all over the world think about her.. She seems very desperate although she has a career without talent,a healthy daughter,a husband, even tons of money. Why does she’s so obsessed with her look? She has nothing smart to say.. always how she hates that about her and she wants to be skinnier and prettier..always the same coming out of her fake mouth
she looks soooo insecure about her body in these pics!! lofl. nice try tho.
You want to see Alba messed up, rent “The Killer Inside Me” where she gets nearly beaten to death by Casey Affleck. Not a bad film, but the beating scene is horrible to watch.
I always had the feeling that Cash never really wanted to be with her. It’s a shame because in my mind she was WAY better than him. If she ain’t feeling it at home I could see where even a hottie could be insecure. I also remember back in her TV days, her saying that she wasn’t comfortable with the “sexy IT girl” thing.
I’m glad that she finally became comfortable being the “IT sexy girl” because without that, she wouldn’t have a career. She certainly can’t count on her acting (in)ability to generate cash.
lol I love how catty you ladies get when it comes down to actresses. The girl’s allowed to say she has saggy boobs, cellulite and wider hips after having a baby. She had a baby and thats what happens. She can also look like a million dollars in photos if she wants to because well, she does look like a million bucks in photos. It doesnt mean she’s lying just to appeal to the average American mom. Try keeping interviews in context and maybe youll find yourselves a wee bit happier about life and your own bodies.
Maybe she’s a pretty girl. To be honest, not that beautiful the media made her but she looks fine so Cash should be proud of his famous,rich,good looking wife but it seems he ain’t happy with her.. We know her only from pictures and from that fake interviews she made but i think cash know how bitchy she is. I would bitchy too if i would stop eating and try so become skinnier and skinnier. It’s sad she’s fixed on her look and needs all these compliments.
But the more important thing is why does she pose for such magazines again??? I thought she doesn’t like to be just a sexy girl wearing a bikini and i remember she said she wants to be a serous actress (i know.. that’s ridiculous because of her zero talent). That means for me just that everything she says it’s trash.. i can’t take her seriously.
This chick needs to get a grip! Being a twig is not always sexy! “My hips got big”?! Hips and thighs and booty is sexy i.e Scar Jo, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Halle Berry. She was never sexy to begin with.
WHERE IS HER CELLULITE????
Has anyone seen the pix of her in her bikini a few mo’s ago? Not one ounce of fat or cellulite on her body.
I think she’s just trying to “relate” to women.
well, sorry – us real women dont have personal trainers, personal chefs and plastic surgeons at our beckon call.
Taurus, if you continue to end ever comment with “MJ for HGF” you will be banned. Enough. I’m not putting Michael Fucking Jackson on Hot Guy Friday.
First of all Alba looks fantastic, but boobs sag and butts get wider, it is a fact of life (hail damage is just genetic.) Secondly, it always astounds me that people come to a site actually called ‘CeleBITCHY’ and are shocked if people gossip in a bitchy fashion for heavens sake the site isn’t call “CelebStrokeTheStarsAlreadyInflatedEgosAndKissTheirA$$es”
I don’t get the bitterness in this post. Sure, she’s a horrible actress. But I like that she was honest in her GQ interview; it’s something that women complain about all the time, so she wouldn’t be the first.
And as far as GQ objectifying women, all the women who pose for the magazine do so by choice; if anything they allow the objectification. Besides, ever read a Cosmopolitan mag?
She’s one of the worst actresses out there and she’s not convincing me here either. She ruins every second of screen time in “Killer Inside Me”.
@TaylorB: “hail damage is just genetic”
Is that what we are calling cottage cheese these days? 😀
“…every actress out there is more beautiful than me.”
dammit, jess!
don’t throw those bitches jessica (ms. my-beauty-is-a-hindrance) biel & goopy (god’s gift) paltrow any shine! their fuggin heads are big enough!
lol 🙂
@Ms Fu: Good call, I feel that Cosmo mag objectifies women in worse ways than GQ. Cosmo makes it all about sex, the articles are horrible!! I read GQ because the articles are actually really interesting
IT’s the usual “whoa is me” from this chick and I’m pretty bored with it.
___ SHe has a tramp stamp. *why doesn’t GQ photograph those? HHhmm…
Crash,
My mother always called it that, I guess it stuck 😉
Um I don’t see her saggy boobs or cellulite but yeah it happens. I have a child & my sag is in my stomach. That of which she doesn’t have either. I’m jealous, very jealous…lol. She’s beautiful.
Fishing for compliments is right. That’s always been her thing. She’s so fake.
I never knew her looks were in question. She looks gorgeous to me, as always. Can’t act her way out of a brown paper sack…but that is obvious, isn’t it?
Someone should tell Jess that sexiness begins in the brain. Some of history’s most successful women who had men eating out of the palm of their hand, were short and rotund. But they were scary smart. They had great personalities. They loved themselves. They did not compare themselves to other women. They did not walk around looking aggrieved and ‘put upon’. There are tons of stuff for you to learn before anyone could consider you ‘sexy’, jessica.
She’s never going to appeal to the female demo.
That’s what body make-up, spray tan, and a whole fleet of clothing designers, make-up artists, photographers, and so forth can do. This is what advertising is about today. It’s sheer stupidity to think that every man or woman we see in an ad on either the TV or in a magazine is not touched up in some way to some extent. It’s FAKE.
I think Jessica does come across as insecure: “I’ve never been comfortable showing my body off. I used to have anxiety attacks before shoots.” But she does it because the money is too good. She’s an actress, she’s portrayed as a sex symbol, and she has people (young girls!) looking up to her. If she is that uncomfortable with all that she says, leave the industry.
I am a mother of a two-year old. All mothers deal with the after-effects of pregnancy, childbirth and raising your child(ren). It affects us all differently. Some women are blessed with little to no cellulite, some drop the baby weight in no time and look the way the did before they were pregnant and so on and alas, I fall into neither category. But if we ALL had access to nutritionists, personal trainers, personal chefs and then that fleet of hair and make-up artists, we’d all look that way.
it wouldn’t be that bad of an article if she didn’t constantly keep complaining in EVERY INTERVIEW
we get it, you’re “normal” just like us yay!
Where is her cellulite? I can’t see it! She looks absolutely toned. She works out a tone. She is sooo full of BS.
Jesus Christ. Instead of getting all huffy and sanctimonious about a comment you think crosses the line, report the damn comment!
I don’t see any cellulite or wide hips in that video and maybe her tits are saggier after the baby but they look fine to me. Does she seriously believe this about herself? She’s sexy and beautiful and her words remind me of some perfect girls who complain all the time that they need to lose weight or that they are ugly. I guess she’s trying to make us relate to her with those self-deprecating comments but for me it has the opposite effect. She probably has insecurities like every other woman but she exaggerates and just makes me want to roll my eyes!
Jessie should keep her big fat mouth shut, actresses weren’t always as self centered and self loathing as her nor did they always complain about their post baby bodies while their child/children were actually still considered babies. jessica should be thankful she’s never had to go through a miscarriage as for example Joanne Woodward did before she had her three daughters all of whom she breastfed something Jess was to vain to do with Honor. oh yeah Ms Woodward is also an academy award winner something Ms Alba will never be and was also married nearly 51 years when her beloved husband died of cancer 2 years ago. something Cash & Jessica will never be. besides that when she won her oscar if not for the miscarriage she’d have been nearly 6 months pregnant the first actress to win best actress in a leading role while pregnant and that was before you were allowed to say the p word on tv. Jess and Cash only got married because she was almost due to give birth to honor and didn’t want the baby to be called Illegitament. stop crying about the after affects of pregnancy nearly 2 1/2 years later. not like Woodward who went with her husband and two of their older daughters one from his previous marriage to the beatles famed shea stadium concert 3.75 months after she gave birth to their youngest daughter Claire in 1965. which was the concert that singlehandedly ushered in Arena Rock as we know it now.
@AWHODAT: Bingo!
Why is she famous again? She’s such a bad actress and I’m not hating. She literally is awful.
Why’d you cut the quotes? She went on to say that she was fine with her body after her baby and its the business she’s in to do what she does oiled up and half dressed. She may come off as a little insecure with one comment that sounded like she couldn’t believe she’s a sex symbol but beyond that I hardly see any issues with it all.
“I’ve never been comfortable showing my body off like that. I used to have anxiety attacks before I did the photo shoots. I’d never worn high heels or even dresses before I did movies . . . I wasn’t even allowed to show my stomach in my house when I was growing up — my parents were very strict. But this is the business I’m in, and it’s made me a lot of money, so I can’t complain.”
“Way more comfortable, since I had a baby. I’m far less self-conscious now I have her to worry about. There’s something so amazing about having a child. My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger, but I love it.”
My guess is what she really wants to hear by pointing out her “saggy” breasts and “cellulite” is that ‘oh you’re still hot’ I mean, Jessica Alba looks smoking hot in those photos and even in paparazzi photos. She seems to work out all the time. like in every single paparazzi photo you’ll see her in sweatpants headed for a gym. Like someone already said above, she’d better focus on working on her acting. She just can’t….act.
Welcome to the world, chica.
Hail damage! LMAO! Best one yet, TaylorB.
@ TaylorB
HAHAHHAHAHAHHA oh mah gah HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Eh, who knows what she looks like with all the styling, effects and photoshop?
She’s got stretch marks as well, you can see them in her un-photoshopped photos at the beach.
na she is not a good actress but in the last pap pics she looks dramatic thin to me, so pleez start eating again girl…
in every interview over the years she gave the impression of really having body issues and for that being on a hardcore diet for years *coughanorexiccough*
Those pics are funny cause it looks like she wants to cry!! 😀 And that’s what’s considered sexy? Looking like somebody just died? OK!
Maybe she’s hungry.
There’s camel toe all over that video. yuck.
She is stunning.
I f*ing hate false modesty.
Why do so many people worry about saggy boobs? Other than the fact I get rug burns on my nips it is no big deal, actually it is kinda nice… when a dude asks to see my t@ts these days I don’t have to bother with buttons on my blouse and simply lift up my skirt. 😉
@Ruffian9 Agreed.
She constantly complains about how ‘awful’ and ‘imperfect’ her body is (I’m failing to see how that’s even true) and yet she’s constantly posing in men’s magazines (okay yeah she had her no nudity clause but I think that’s just a tease)…
The way I see it, she knows she’s a sex symbol but wants to appeal to women as well and quite frankly, she just comes across as a complete pain in the ass. Pretty girl but annoying
Thank you, I appreciate this kind of full article.
Wow, I enjoyed your neat post.