We haven’t had any Lohan stories in a several days. That has been a conscious choice on my part – Lindsay is in rehab, presumably getting in touch with her non-crackhead side, and I thought it best to ease up on the little sociopath whenever possible. Unfortunately, my self-imposed Blohan embargo has been defeated by a number of tabloid stories about Lindsay, most of them negative. Let’s just go down the list, shall we?

First – TMZ had a hilariously awful story a few days ago about Lindsay’s problems back when she was 17 years old (the year was 2003), living in the Chateau Marmont and partying every night. Somehow, the LAPD were informed that Lindsay had a stalker, so valuable police resources – in the form of a full-time investigator – were assigned to trail Lindsay, to see if anyone else was trailing her, I presume. Sources tell TMZ that “the investigator became alarmed when he saw Lindsay clubbing all over town, which made the investigator fear she was drinking and driving. Law enforcement then contacted Dina to give her the heads-up. Dina wasn’t answering her phone, so voicemail messages were left warning her of Lindsay’s Hollywood antics. Dina never called back … not even once.” But wait! That’s not even the worst part! Another source snipes to TMZ, “If law enforcement was so worried about Lindsay’s safety, why didn’t they send someone to Dina’s home to inform her?” Yes, Mother Crackhead. Because if someone had showed up in person to inform you that your daughter was turning into a crackhead – as opposed to just leaving several messages – that would have been what turned the whole situation around.

Second – Lindsay is definitely-probably being treated for addiction to cocaine at the Bette Ford Clinic. A source tells Radar, “Lindsay’s primary problem is cocaine. She went through a thorough assessment, and it was discovered that she has a high dependence for cocaine.” Shocking. Also, sources tell TMZ that while in rehab, Lindsay is still blaming her daddy for everything that she’s going through. She’s a coked-out mess ONLY because of her crappy father. I would believe it if Lindsay was capable of taking some personal responsibility, but this just seems like more cracked-out narcissistic delusional crap to me.

Lastly, we have this story – Lindsay’s “team” of lawyers/sycophants now wants her court-ordered probationary period to end sooner. Their rationale? Because it’s so easy for Lindsay to f-ck up, so why make it easy to catch her when she will inevitably f-ck up?

Lindsay Lohan’s team is hoping for an early end to the actress’ probation period, which currently runs through August 2011, in hopes of keeping her out of more legal trouble, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

“The longer Lindsay stays on probation, the increased chances that she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation. The only person that can modify terms of Lindsay’s probation, or terminate it early, is Judge Elden Fox,” a source with knowledge of the situation told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Lindsay is currently undergoing treatment at Betty Ford in Palm Springs. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, she is being treated for an addiction to cocaine. While the source would not elaborate on the particulars of the plan to get Lohan off of probation early, some reasons would include: “Lindsay remaining in rehab for a longer period of time” or “attending alcohol education classes.”

The source stressed that Lohan is ready to do “anything that Judge Fox feels is necessary. It’s his call, but there is a strong push being made for Lindsay’s probation to terminate early.”

Most of Lohan’s legal woes have arisen because of issues with complying to the terms of her probation. “It’s important to remember that Lindsay is on probation for misdemeanor charges relating to her two DUI’s back in 2007,” the insider added.

Lohan’s next hearing in front of Judge Fox is on October 22. “Lindsay’s attorney is going to admit to the violation of the dirty drug test. There isn’t going to be a need for a formal probation violation hearing because Shawn Chapman Holley isn’t going to fight the test results. It will be up to Judge Fox if Lindsay is required to attend the hearing, but if ordered to appear, she will be there,” the source continued.

“Lindsay will still be in rehab at the time of the hearing, and since it’s not going to be full blown hearing, she might not have to be there. Even if Lindsay is sentenced to 30 days in jail for the dirty test, she will get credit for one day served when Judge Fox remanded her to jail at the last hearing. With jail overcrowding, and the fact that Lindsay is a low level offender, she would likely be processed in and out of the system in less than four hours.”

Before that hearing, Judge Fox will be “receiving a detailed report from Lindsay’s treatment team at Betty Ford.”

The source stressed again, “Whatever Judge Fox orders Lindsay to do, she plans on complying with.”

[From Radar]

“The longer Lindsay stays on probation, the increased chances that she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation.” I mean… that alone should be reason to EXTEND her probation (if not send her to JAIL). I can just imagine Lindsay standing before the judge: “You need to let my probation end early because I’m going to do coke again and it would be a lot more convenient for me if I wasn’t drug-tested after I snorted half of Mexico. Sir.” I’ll believe Lindsay is taking her recovery seriously when her legal team – at Lindsay’s behest – is trying to extend her probation to make it more and more difficult for her to f-ck up. But that’s just me.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.