Before I get to Star Magazine’s “Zomg, Xenu broke them up!” cover, I’d just like to begin with this little story from Life & Style – according to eyewitnesses, Katie Holmes let Suri walk into Toronto’s Sephora and “picked out more than $1300 worth of products.” Which Katie then bought for her. Do you believe that? I do. What I don’t believe is that Suri understood what she was getting. She probably just picked out the prettiest bottles and Katie just bought everything like a zombie.

Okay, now for Star’s story. Honestly, this seems like a filler – like Star didn’t know that there was going to be three big breakups this week, so that just went with a standby TomKat story. The basic gist is that Tom and Katie are fighting about babies and renegotiating their marriage contract and face-time with Xenu.

Katie ran off the set of her new movie, after getting a “distressing phone call” from Tom’s sister. We don’t know what the call was about, however.

Katie visited Tom in Prague on the set of the new Mission Impossible, and wanted to spend a relaxing night in the hotel, but Tom insisted they go to dinner with some Scientology “big wigs.” They slept in separate rooms that night. DUN DUN DUN.

They had another fight later, about her not wanting to try and have a second baby. Tom accused Katie of reneging on her marriage contract. Katie reminded Tom that he’d promised her a movie deal. He snapped that her acting wasn’t good enough! Then she stormed off and walked the streets of Prague alone. She’s unhappy, but she doesn’t want to do anything rash — she’s afraid Tom will somehow end up with custody of Suri.

[From Star via Jezebel]

Wouldn’t you love to hear that fight? Tom: “You need to have another baby. We shall prepare the Xenu incubator.” Katie: “I don’t wanna. I wanna do a movie! You said you would make me a star!” Tom: “You’re not good enough, hon. Now spread your legs while I go get the baster so we can make another little Travolta/Hubbard spawn.” Katie: “What should I wear?” Tom: “As much as possible, please.”