In addition to Kim Kardashian’s dumb hyperbole (“Wearing the wrong foundation is the worst thing on the planet”), it seems like there’s been a rash of ass-kissy gaffes and outright LOLs today. The next one comes via Dlisted, and it’s about how Kristen Stewart is the best, most fascinating, MOST TALENTED actress EVER. That’s right. K-Stew. The girl famous for sulking and rolling her eyes and biting her lip through every f-cking dramatic scene in her career. Just like Meryl Streep!

Crazy actor James Woods on how Kristen Stewart is just like Marlon Brando: “The really great ones kind of submerge themselves. I always say that Kristen is like Brando, and I’ve always thought that she had that incredible sort of internal ability to submerge into the role and be lost in it in a good way. You know, so I see that with the best actors, DeNiro’s like that, so many good actors are like that. I have from the second I saw her in the Panic Room. I just thought this kid has something different. She just has something different. She just has insight, that unique insight that certain people have. You’re not getting a cookie cutter performance. You’re getting something that you don’t expect. You don’t know where to go and you kind of take the ride. I think she has the potential to be one of the best of her generation if not the best.”

Director Jake Scott (who directed Welcome to the Rileys) on Kristen being like Meryl: “She’s grown up, you know. She’s a woman now. She was a girl, or a young woman, when I first met her… I’ve known her three years and she’s just become this wonderful woman. She’s gonna do some um… I mean.. That’s some Meryl Streep stuff, you know?”

[From Dlisted]

Does this offend me at my very core? Yes. It does. Kristen isn’t the next Meryl Streep. She’s not even the next Jessica Alba. Kristen is riding a franchise with a built-in fan base, a fan base that would embrace literally ANYONE as Bella. Very few of Kristen’s non-Twilight films even get wide release – I only saw The Runaways because I wanted to see Dakota Fanning’s performance, and Kristen was completely underwhelming, so much so that she brought the whole film down. She’s just… not good.

Next up in Hyperbole Thursday, we have this story from Hollywood Life/Lainey… Gossip Girl’s costumer comparing Blake “Boobs Legsy” Lively to Jacqueline F-cking Kennedy:

Gossip Girls’ costume designer Eric Daman says said Blake understands clothing in a way most a-listers don’t — she just gets it — and she looks amazing practically every time she steps out! “She’s not an anorexic bitch, she has tits and an ass,” he said. “She knows where the hemline needs to hit, what colors she should wear and about draping,” he said.

“She’s not getting out of cars without panties and she rather be home making apple pie, not partying in a limo,” he said. “That’s why Anna [Wintour] likes her. She nailed it [the Vogue covers] and I love being a part of it without having to hold her hand.”

“SJP was so instrumental about clothing and the draping and body parts and Blake is the same exact way, but she’s not Carrie and she’s not SJP,” he said. “Blake is in her 20’s and has a hot body, she’s a teen icon of high fashion and we haven’t really seen something like it, she’s like the Jackie O of her time.”

[From Hollywood Life]

The only reason these comments aren’t making me suicidal is because all of them are from people who have a vested economic and professional interest in seeing Blake Lively and Kristen Stewart succeed. Their careers depend on it. And that’s the only reason. Because if we’re talking about people WITHOUT an interest in these two completely average young women, no one thinks that they’re somehow the next Marlon Brando, Meryl Streep or Jacqueline Kennedy. Urgh.