Everyone is still busy speculating over what went wrong between George Clooney and Sarah Larson. The two split up after a year together – absolutely beyond record length for a Clooney liaison. Before that, His longest – and I’m guessing deepest – relationship was with his pot bellied pig, Max. Mike Walker of the National Enquirer has another theory as to what might have gone wrong, and according to him, Ms. Larson got a little too big for her britches in the Clooney household.

New clue in the intriguing mystery of why George Clooney abruptly dumped ex-cocktail waitress Sarah Larson – even after generously buying her new boobs and teeth! The bust-up occurred in part because risqué photos surfaced along with rumors of her fling with an old flame – plus sordid tales of her wild past that freaked Clooney out, as reported by The Enquirer – but here’s a tasty chunk of my very own prime gossip filet, folks:

Word’s just now drifting out from the star’s inner circle that Sarah, who once depended on tips herself as a scantily clad booze-server in Vegas, suddenly started acting like the future Missus Clooney around The Man’s household, cruelly ordering cutbacks to the hefty gratuities Generous George regularly lavishes on his personal staff.

For months, Clooney had no clue about Stingy Sarah’s sly cutbacks, but when worried staffers finally asked one of his higher-ups if the boss had trimmed everyone’s tips because he was unhappy with their work, the whistle finally blew loudly in the star’s ear and he went ballistic – raging that NO ONE had the right to counterman his orders! Just days after Clooney’s shocking discovery, it was suddenly “See ya, Sarah!”

[From the National Enquirer, July 12, 2008, print ed]

Frankly it seems pretty clear to me that whatever ended George and Sarah’s relationship, I’ll bet it was an excuse. George Clooney does not date women long, and I’m sure he knew that if he went on much longer, he’d be expected to marry Sarah. The gossip was reaching a boiling point as it was.

I’m guessing he waited for the first thing she did wrong, and then gave Sarah the boot. A Clooney relationship isn’t a traditional one where the two people are partners who work together through issues. You get to date George – and he takes pretty good care of you, buying you new body parts and such – for a few months until he loses interest.

As soon as his relationship with Sarah deviated from his tried and true format, suddenly his entire identity was probably up in the air and he started looking for a way out. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actual dumping was because of something relatively trivial, though the idea that Sarah ever had enough control to influence his staff’s paychecks seems a little unlikely to me. Either way, she set a Clooney relationship record, and she left with two lovely parting gifts.

Update by Celebitchy: Many of you are pointing out in the comments that Clooney was married for four years, to Talia Balsam from 1989 – 1993, and had a relationship for several years with Lisa Snowden. Although he’s had other relationships that lasted longer than Larson, Jaybird is technically correct that his longest relationship to date was with his potbellied pig, though. Max lived to the age of 19, four years past his life expectancy, and was partially blind and suffered arthritis in his old age. Clooney had to urge fans to quit sending potbellied piglets to his house after Max died. He said he wasn’t ready to adopt another pig and good ‘ol Max would probably be his last.

Here are Sarah and George at the Oscars on February 24th. Images thanks to WENN.