DAMN IT. I can’t even threaten to get out my slut-shank, because from the looks of it, Malin Ackerman is really not interested in Gerard Butler, and he’s really trying to tell her something very important (about his dong). Malin is all “We should be looking for Kaiser, I thought I saw your future wife over there!” And Gerard is all “Hungry. HUNGRY for blonde.” Ugh. I thought blondes weren’t even his type! He usually goes for dark, mysterious and lithe, not blonde and bubbly. I guess vadge is vadge. For God’s sake, he’s got his hands all over her! This bastard.
But that’s not even the worst part – he was hitting on yet another blonde too! What. Is. Wrong. With. Him. I am RIGHT HERE. Look at this bitch – at first I thought it was Gisele, but it’s not. She wishes she was Gisele.
Gerry and I have weathered these storms before. I thought his weird maybe-dalliance with Jennifer Aniston was going to end it for me, but he came back after that and started working with Ralph Fiennes, and I found a way to love him again. But there’s only so many randoms and trolling for strange I can take. You know what’s really gross? All of these pervert single men who go to Victoria’s Secret shows and then stand there with sh-teating grins just because they get to watch supermodels traipse around in their underwear for an hour. YOU SUCK GERRY. No, you don’t. I still love you, but you need to get it together and just come and find me.
Oh, Kaiser. We need to just beat this phase out of him. He is REALLY testing my patience lately! Maybe together we can reign him in, yeah?
And is Malin Akerman married? That sure looks like a wedding ring on her finger!
EDIT – Answered my own question – she’s married.
Kaiser…you seem conflicted about this…maybe that should tell you that he is a douche (sorry!) and not good enough for you!
you know he just went to the vs show so that his ‘pecker can do the pickin’.
lol 🙂
gerard reminds me of the guy who is friends with your BF/husband but always tries to look down your shirt.
I love Gerry too but I say we start a petition for him to marry Kaiser, stat! Nobody deserves him more than you do, girl.
lol @original kate. he so does.
Poor Kaiser, you’re just too stressed out!
Aww, don’t worry Kaiser, that’s just how he says “Hello”.
Man, he looks like a complete douchebag in all these pictures.
What is this struggling professor look? He is wearing a t-shirt, faux velvet blazer, and a douche scarf for goodness sakes! Please help him Kaiser! He needs a beard trimmer, hair cut, and tux. I say kick him out of HGF until he gets his Sh*t together.
is the gisele-look-alike one of the other hilarious actresses from malin’s show “children’s hospital” on adult swim? i can see it from a certain angle.
PLEASE, everyone, dvr this late-night show. david wain is involved, which makes it totally hilarious.
Kaiser, he is just a really friendly guy! He likes to hang with the pretty ladies but in his heart he is waiting for the right one and YOU Kaiser are the one for Gerry.
And to think I use to think he was attractive in an odd Irish sorta way. (I know he is from Scotland but his parents are Irish)He just looks awful and desperate in a kind of about to be over in a Viggo sort of way. Could he look anymore juvenile if he tried.Sad thing is I see barely any attractive 30 somethings ready to take over for these aging peter pan types. They don’t make them like they use to. Mothers turned anyone under 35 into girly men. Not a good thing.Men start now. Tell your wives having a boy act like a girl is not a good thing. I fear it is to late for us. But it is time society let men be men. If they had someone would be taking over for these men. Sad
Kaiser, this is why I had to let go of my feelings for Gerry a long time ago. And by the sounds of this post, it sounds like your love is starting to wear thin.
So to help you out, if any of us meet him, what should we say to him (outside of the near-obsessive desire for him even in the time of moobs) to get him to you? There are enough of us here that *someone(s)* will get your message of love to him.
Thanks for all of the words of kindness. My Gerard Obsession isn’t wearing thin, it’s just that I like to talk about him. I know he’ll eventually make his way to me. He has to! We would be perfect together.
Carrie – if anyone meets him, just tell him that I’m waiting for him. That I forgive him for all of his trolling and general grossness, but that the time has come for he and I to settle down and have babies.
Original Kate @4, if you’d just put those things away we could concentrate on your face. It’s like Jerry Seinfeld told George, “It’s like looking at the sun.”
“What. Is. Wrong. With. Him.?”
He. Is. A. Fugly. Douchebag.
Honey, I really feel for you. What a douche.
I get the impression that Gerry is just a free spirit who loves the ladies. I don’t think he means any harm but he’s like a kid in a candy store. I mean he’s at a Victoria Secret fashion for cripes sake!
I feel really sorry for Malin, I would hate to be groped by old Spittle too 🙁 .
And who cares about Spittle, when this post should have been about the KoL boys!!! God I love them, so hot. Especially Caleb. His bad hair is well bad, but that face- yum-o (Perhaps a Rock Star HGF??!!).
But yeah, completely creepy how pervy it is to see those guys there. Yuck. But I will give the KoL boys a pass, just this once. 😆
LolaBella & Camille – Shut your douche mouth! The slut-shank can be whipped out and fashioned into a hater-shank, bitches!
Jen – Don’t pity me. *sob*
Kaiser, I’ll help spread the word. Scotland’s a pretty small place so either I or someone I know is bound to bump into him in a dark corner of a Glaswegian club in the next month.
LOL Kaiser! Calm girl, calm 🙂 . Just think of it this way, there is more of him for you if some of us don’t like him 😉 .
The stink off these pictures is INCREDIBLE, and that stick smells of Douche.
The girl that looks like Gisele is also a brazilian model very famous here in Brazil. Her name is Ellen Jabour if i am not mistaken.
This chick was only famous because she was once doing “gisele´s legs” in those awful flip flop commercial – the ipanema gisele bundchen, i guess.
She is also a very lucky bitch! She dated Rodrigo Santoro for a loooonnnnnng time.
And yes, she wishes she was Gisele!
@acidburn If that is really Ellen Jabour, isnt she like the girlfriend of Axl Rose now? Or was at least his flavor of the month not so long ago??
ps.: Yes, girl totally wishes she was Gis. B
No one deserves him more than you, K. If there’s ANYTHING I can do from Argentina (I doubt it, but who knows? maybe Gerry is ready to try some good Argentinian meat :D), please let me know.
And you shouldnt worry about these blondes; me thinks he’s just desperate for attention (that’s when u come in!).
@Bryana,
I am almost sure she is. But wait a minute…did she had a fling with Axl? EW.
wow, i just googled it and it seems to be true…
“if you’d just put those things away we could concentrate on your face. It’s like Jerry Seinfeld told George, ‘It’s like looking at the sun.’ ”
LOL, danny! i’m a 36D – i can’t really put them away unless i wear a caftan.
@Kaiser: LMAO!
Your love for The Butler just makes me laugh so hard. To each their own – I have a thing for Russell Brand and want to do naughty things to him.
*Hangs head in shame – sort of*
Kaiser, this too shall pass. You’ve weathered many a storm with your beloved Gerry. If I ever end up working on a set with him, I’ll be sure to keep my incandescent beauty (*snort* – made myself laugh) hidden and extol the virtues of all things you.
I hate Malin Akerman mainly because of her shitty performance in Watchmen. Everyone else was stellar in their performance in that movie except her.
Though, she is prettier as a brunette than a blonde, IMO.
Kaiser,you need to go over there and straighten him out right now lol. Like any true relationship their will be bumps in the road,so don’t be discouraged he means no harms really just be a little more patient like most men he’ll get it right eventually.Most men do with a little help from a good women(meaning you).
ugh, he is one skeevy dude … and you just know he carries the stink with him.
I swear you could just read this site for the comments alone. I am cracking up!
Wow. You really know how to give him some what-for. That should keep Biscuits in line for a while. You tell him, Kaiser!
I apologize for saying that *some* of you had douche mouths. Even though some of you bitches need the hater-shank (formally the slut-shank).
Kaiser, you crack me up!
Ha! As he launches himself at her, Malin is pointing frantically off to the side. “Look! There’s my husband! Do you see him??”
The Gisele lookalike is actually a gorgeous Australian model called Marija Skara.
he was obviously tryin to get your attention in time for Hot Guy Friday 🙂
I like to look at him with his shirt off, but I get too much of a sleazy creep vibe from him to be 100% attracted to him.
Malin needn’t worry – he prefers boys!
Poor girl does look a little bit panicked in the top pic!
I love the comments! And the slut/hater-shank! LMAO!!!! B)
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