Cele|bitchy | Has Katie Holmes already given birth?

Katie Holmes has not been seen outside of Cruise’s estate for a few days. This may mean that she has already given birth and that the Scientologists are sequestering the baby in accordance with their arbitrary belief system:

Reports from Wednesday say that Katie Holmes is now missing in action, no longer emerging from the Cruise compound. That has brought speculation that the fabulous Katie Holmes may have already given birth within the estate – and the couple wish to keep it quiet so she and the baby can have a few days of silence before the press begins the onslaught.

Let’s review the guidelines for giving birth and caring for newborns that L.Ron Hubbard pulled out of his ass:

The newborn is to be left entirely alone for the full first day after it is born

The baby is to be separated from the mother for three full days after birth

The mother should stay silent during childbirth

The mother cannot talk to the baby for a full week after its born

It would make sense, then, that Katie and the baby are kept away from the media and from all “negative influences” for a full week after birth. If she doesn’t come out for another shopping trip in the next few days, you can bet she’s given birth.

Katie is also said to be “out of her mind” since Cruise has been leaving her alone while he flies planes and travels in the last few days of her pregnancy:

To make matters worse, Cruise has been trotting the globe and playing with his very expensive toys while shipping Katie off to the Scientology celeb center every day. While word of the practice of the Scientology “silent birth” is published all over the world, the unfortunate young Holmes has been left alone to cope with the overwhelming changes.

While Cruise may not be there for Holmes in the real world, he’s very good at giving loving quotes and posing for the cameras. In an upcoming interview with GQ, Cruise calls sex with Holmes “spectacular” and says that he feels more strongly for her than he ever did for Nicole Kidman, who he was married to for over 12 years.

Here are pictures from the May issue of GQ. [via]