Today was the first photo call for The Way Back, that crapfest-looking “wandering around the snow and desert, because we’re Jews” film. I would have saved this one for the links, but the photos were just too, too perfect to not write about. First of all, Colin Farrell, ladies and gentlemen. He looks good, doesn’t he? Like, he’s healthy and he’s sleeping and eating properly, and he’s not running around partying and making mischief with every trollop out there. My Spidey sense tells me that he’s already got another girlfriend, honestly. It’s his air of containment… it says to me that he’s got a regular partner. Just a theory.

Also in the film: Jim Sturgess. I know some of you like him. I think I understand it – he’s one of those femme boys with their emotions and he’s all artsy and “deep” right? That’s why you like him? Well, he could very well be all of those things, but the boy is also a pillow-weeper. Just my opinion, but I stand by it: Jim Sturgess weeps after orgasm. His, not yours. He has to be “sensitive”. He has to hold your hand and talk about his “sadness”. That’s how he gets you into bed, where he pumps for a full minute, then bursts into tears. Trust me.

Ed Harris – I love him, but the man looks like death. Are we sure that he hasn’t already passed?

Little Saoirse Ronan! God, she’s growing up and she’s becoming ridiculously beautiful. God, I hope Colin isn’t nailing her.

Here’s the trailer for The Way Back. It really looks so dumb.

Photos courtesy of WENN.