Jersey Shore’s J-Woww has new book on ‘The Rules’ of dating

jwowwbook
Is there anything these Jersey Shore kids can’t do? I watched Barbara Walters’ “10 Most Fascinating People” show hoping to get some decent quotes from Sandra Bullock, who wasn’t even interviewed. Instead, I was treated to an interview with the Jersey Shore gang in which they defended themselves to Barbara and then defined their stupid insider words, like “Smush,” “Grenade” and “GTL.”

That segment also revealed the many ways that these kids are raking in the big bucks. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino earned $10 million this year, not just 5 as previously reported, from his endorsement deals and iPod app. J-Woww has a tanning line out and a clothing line, and now there’s news that she has her own book coming out on “dating.” This is from the girl who slept with Pauly, but I guess of all the Jersey Shore women she’s had the least hookups in the house. (See diagram below, although I don’t watch this show to properly judge.) Anyway I fail to see how she’s qualified to put out a dating book, but I guess that doesn’t matter when it comes to making money.

Jenni “JWoww” Farley announced on her Facebook page this weekend that she, too, is throwing her hat into the writing ring to become a woman of letters. According to Farley, The Rules According to JWoww will offer “a new spin on the dos and don’ts of dating, from ‘smushing’ guys to avoiding booty calls to finding the guy of your dreams.” Rife with “empowering advice for a new generation of self-assured young women,” the book will offer “shore-tested secrets on landing a mint guy, staying fresh to death, and kicking the competition to the curb.”

The dating guide, which will be published by HarperCollins imprint William Morrow, goes on sale February 8, 2011.

[From Celebuzz]

The book is being released just in time for Valentine’s day, when all the single girls with aspirations of being like J-Woww can get wasted and get their fake tits out to land the “guy of their dreams.” I’m sure he’s heavily bronzed, roided up, and has his own special language with his buddies through which he puts down all the women stupid enough to put out for him.

jerseyshorehookups

Update: here are more photos of Jenni on Halloween. Credit: PRPhotos
Jenni Farley

Jenni Farley

Jenni Farley

Photo by: AJM/AAD/starmaxinc.com 2010  11/27/10 Jenni J-Woww Farley hosts an event at Studio 54 . (Las Vegas, Nevada)  Photo via Newscom

Photo by: AJM/AAD/starmaxinc.com 2010  11/27/10 Jenni J-Woww Farley hosts an event at Studio 54 . (Las Vegas, Nevada)  Photo via Newscom

Photo by: AJM/AAD/starmaxinc.com 2010  11/27/10 Jenni J-Woww Farley hosts an event at Studio 54 . (Las Vegas, Nevada)  Photo via Newscom

47230, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Monday November 8 2010. Jenni JWoww Farley of Jersey Shore dines out at Hollywood hotspot Katsuya. Photograph:  Hellmuth Dominguez, PacificCoastNews.com

TV personalities from MTV's Jersey Shore Nicole Snooki Polizzi and Jenni Jwow Farley head out for a day in Manhattan, New York on October 14, 2010. Snooki was recently the target of the animated show South Park where she was created into monster which was shoot at by the Cartman character but Nicole took to her twitter with what seemed to be pride after the episode tweeting snooki want smoosh smoosh. im going to have nightmares tonight lmao!!! we've officially made it. goodnite my bitches. Jwoww was recently paid a great deal of money to appear on a Spike TV wrestling show to get in the ring with a snooki look alike.  Fame Pictures, Inc

44879, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Monday September 13 2010. JWoww from the hit MTV show Jersey Shore arrives at her LA hotel. Photograph:  Hellmuth Dominguez, PacificCoastNews.com *FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

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33 Responses to “Jersey Shore’s J-Woww has new book on ‘The Rules’ of dating”

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  1. Happymom says:

    She’s so demure-especially in the dress with the cut out so we can see the tattoo on her side. I will confess to watching several episodes in the first season-but it’s all the same: they get drunk which makes them even more stupid than they normally are, and then they have huge ridiculous arguments-hence “the drama”, plus the dancing/tanning/sex. I’m amazed that they have a following.

  2. KelBear says:

    I actually like her and believe it or not, she has a good head above those big boobs.

  3. samigirl says:

    I don’t see her happily married-so what makes her qualified to give others dating tips? Uch. I know how to have a one night stand, j-woww, I don’t need to buy a book to tell me.
    Also-wth is up with her face? She has a terrible complexion!

  4. Gabriela says:

    Bitch has the face of a 40 year old.

  5. teehee says:

    Competition? You dont catch a guy, you build a relationship with one. Relationships are not abotu ‘getting’ the right person but about everything you do with them AFTER you have found them.
    You know, the actual work part, the intimacy thing. I doubt her book teaches any of that.

  6. malachais says:

    Porny smurfette is going to advise us on dating tips. I’d rather hear it from an ugly fat older woman that actually has had a successful relationship. Who funded this book?

    All I can say though, is props to her for milking this show. Get it while you can.

  7. cici says:

    i think she looks much improved from her time on the show.

  8. sapphire says:

    Maybe her royalties will let her replace those bargain-basement plastic boobs.

  9. jc126 says:

    I hate this show. I can’t even appreciate it to laugh at them – they’re loathsome idiots who seem as if they belong in the 80s.

  10. LittleDeadGirl says:

    teehee: You put way too much thought and too many big words in a post on JWow. The girl’s name is Jwow for fucks’s sake -lol- This book is ridiculous and if it ends up on the best seller list I give up on humanity … I’m just done …

  11. Roma says:

    @sapphire: I agree. Those implants are horrible.

    She punched the Situation in the face. I’m not sure she should be the one to give advice about guys.

    And doesn’t anyone remember when Puck got kicked out from the Real World for spitting in someone’s face? And now it’s encouraged to slap and punch each other. Awesome, MTV, awesome. Thanks for launching a douchebag’s 10 million dollar career.

  12. Persistent Cat says:

    @Happymom, I was trying to think of the right word to describe her and you nailed it, demure. Like if the ghosts of Grace Kelly and Princess Diana had a daughter, it’d be her.

    @Roma, c’mon, it was the Situation. She punched a guy that calls himself The Situation. There are a lot of reasons to find her deplorable, that is not one of the them 😉

    Sigh, I’m going to direct my anger at the publishing house that is putting out this “book.” So wrong. So so so wrong.

  13. Lila says:

    If Blake Lively were a brunette she’d look a lot like JWOW in that middle pic of her with the pigtails.

  14. bellaluna says:

    Yes, her implants are horrible. But so is that hairstyle, with the windblown pig-tails. I’d take advice from her, right after I took an etiquette class from Snooki. (So, in other word, NEVER!)

    @ Gabriella – As a 40 year old woman, I take offence to that! 😀 My face doesn’t even look that bad.

  15. Bodhi says:

    Ok so what do smush & grenade mean?

  16. Roma says:

    @Bodhi: Smush is kissing/making out and a grenade is the ugly friend that someone distracts so you can smush with the hotter chick. Sigh. Stupid Jersey Shore marathon was on while I was hungover.

  17. Saor says:

    Woah, from the thumbnail I thought this was about Catherine Zeta Jones. And the weirdness of Catherine Zeta Jones in pigtails and a schoolgirl get up. It’s J-Woww. I feel secure again.

  18. NayNay says:

    Wait a minute, can she even read a book????

  19. original kate says:

    i don’t know who this chick is but from the looks of her i’m guessing her rules go something like this:

    1. get enormous, comical boob implants
    2. repeatedly “forget” to wear panties
    3. drink lots of tequila
    4. do it standing up behind the 7-11
    5. put STD clinic on speed dial

  20. juliana says:

    Isn’t the very idea of one of these cretins publishing a book one of the seven signs of the apocalypse?

  21. Bodhi says:

    Ah, thanks Roma. Smushing… how strange

  22. AuroraMoonBeam says:

    No way this chick is 23/24 bc I’m 22 & this broad looks like she’s a good 10-15 Yrs older than me. Yikeserz!

  23. Shannon says:

    I can’t believe she hasn’t gotten her boobs fixed! She definitely has enough money, so she must actually like them! Under the muscle implants would look WAY better.

  24. Jesus Christ Superstar says:

    jesus, they are all SO TAN.

  25. Katyusha says:

    Well JWOWW, we have rules, too. An important one being that if you’re over 8 years old, you don’t wear your hair in side pig-tails.

    Unless you’re in the bedroom with your significant other.

  26. Nicole says:

    oh please, whoever buys this book is just as dumb as them! These are the last people on earth I’d take any advise from…that goes for the kartrashian tramps too

  27. devilgirl says:

    If she would lay off the tanning, smoking and booze, in addition to toning down the whore make-up and clothes, she could actually be an attractive girl.

  28. Bitter fruit says:

    Idiocracy is real.

  29. Hakura says:

    The sad thing is that the book will likely sell… and even if it doesn’t, these disgusting people are still filthy rich and will likely never have to work a day in their lives. (Notice I don’t say ‘another’ day. x_x)

    Wow. I can honestly say, with pride, that I didn’t know anything about the interactions these people have had on that show until seeing that ‘chart’… You could get herpes just being in the same room with any of these people. Not surprising the condom company wanted to sponsor Snooki’s party.

  30. notsoanonymous says:

    If that is really the official book cover.. That is awesome. She is wearing the same bra and skirt as she did for a Halloween costume??? On a book cover?

    KKKKLLLLAAAASSSSYYYYYYY

  31. Emily says:

    @Roma, IMO, punching the Situation in the face makes you incredibly qualified to give advice about guys!

  32. Hakura says:

    @#31- I didn’t even *realize* that. =_= Some ‘Halloween’ costume… Dressing like a whore for Halloween doesn’t count if you’re a whore in real life.

    And yes. ‘K-for-Kardashian’ klassy.