The “16 and Pregnant” abortion special, “No Easy Decision,” will air tonight on MTV at 11:30 pm EST. As we’ve heard, it follows 19 year-old castmember Markai Durham as she makes the choice to abort her second pregnancy. Durham claims that her second pregnancy was a legitimate accident when she forgot to get a follow-up birth control shot and didn’t realize that she needed another one at that point. She has a Facebook page administered by a friend through which she’s been discussing the special and defending herself. MTV has supposedly barred Durham from doing interviews ahead of the special, and The NY Post reports that the show has not been released to the press ahead of the air date. Pro-life groups are upset at something they perceive will glorify abortion.
MTV — first accused of glamorizing teen pregnancy with “16 and Pregnant” — is now facing charges it’s promoting abortion with a controversial new show airing tonight.
On the show, Markai Durham, who was first seen last month on “16 and Pregnant,” discovers she is expecting again and must decide whether to have the baby.
Her decision to terminate the pregnancy is the centerpiece of “No Easy Decision” and has pro-lifers up in arms.
The show is so unusual, MTV scheduled it to air at 11:30 p.m. — well past the bedtimes of the network’s youngest fans.TV did not make the show available to the media before it airs and has forbidden Markai to give interviews about the subject.
Still, in social media postings, the 19-year-old Florida girl has been preparing fans for the intense drama.
“I get sad from time to time thinking about it but then everything happens for a reason,” she wrote. “God gave me 3 paths to take abortion, adoption, or raising this baby along with another.
“I chose this path and I think about how stressing things would have been if I haven’t made the one I’ve made.”
Markai, who gave birth to daughter Za’karia in October 2009, has been seeing a therapist to cope with her feelings, and spent the past week answering questions about her decision on Formspring.com, where other “16 and Pregnant” alums connect with their fans.
In a posting Christmas Eve, the teen, who admits that, in the past, she abused drugs and slept with “different men every other night,” says she and boyfriend James were using birth control when the second pregnancy occurred.
“I just never knew it ran out,” she wrote. “They give you a time limit to get the shot again. [It’s] like days-days, so I thought I had time. I guess not.”
In recent months, MTV has promised to tackle “all sides” of the hot-button teen pregnancy issue.
But pro-life blogger Jill Stanek says she expects a one-sided portrayal.
“This apparently means the pro-life perspective will simply get tackled,” she writes, noting that the official Web site only links to pro-choice groups, including the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Stanek also points out that the show was done in cooperation with Exhale, a support group for teens who have had abortions.
“Anytime anyone can help tell stories about women who have had abortions, we see that as a good thing,” says Erica Johnson, an Exhale counselor.
Markai’s story “is very much in line with the stories we hear on our talk line. A large number of women who have abortions already have children.
“They are wanting to do the best thing for the children they have and they really struggle with whether they can do it a second or third time.”
“She didn’t expect to be ridiculed and put down about it so much,” Markai’s Facebook page administrator writes.
[From The NY Post]
I’m going to say basically the same thing about this that I said in our last story. I have no problem with abortion. I do have a problem with MTV exploiting these young girls for television. As many of you point out in our stories on Amber’s abuse of Gary – why didn’t someone filming her abuse step in? She slapped and choked the guy in front of a camera crew equipped with lights and gear. There had to be a few people there and no one stopped Amber on three separate occasions or even made the executive decision not to air that footage!
So now there’s a girl who had to get an abortion and MTV is going to put her out there for people to talk about and debate over. I don’t think she’s prepared for this, and this story bothers me for an entirely different reason other than the abortion issue.
remember that episode of “true life” on mtv where that precious girl was raising her siblings cuz her mom offed herself? the girl didn’t have $$$ for groceries & had to leave the store when her friend’s check was declined. it was excruciating.
anyhoo…when they interviewed the cameraman on a ‘behind the scenes’ special…he discussed how personally upsetting it was not to be able to help her out.
soooo…it’s probably a contractual thing with mtv & their documentaries.
if something good can come out of something bad @ least with the amber thing being televised…amber has yet another opportunity to straighten the hell up & leah was spared from what could have been a lifetime of abuse.
In regards to the pro-life blogger – There are many other episodes of 16 and Pregnant that show only the anti-choice side. This is the first episode showing a decision to have an abortion. It’s a testament to how strong the lobbying groups that want to take away and limit a woman’s right to chose are in showing that this is a “special” and can only be shown late at night. Ridiculous. The vast majority of Americans are pro-choice; it’s only loud and vocal minority that oppose Roe v. Wade.
I support this young woman. She made her own choice, and for her that was the right choice. Everyone is entitled to make their own choices regarding their own bodies and their own lives.
Birthcontrol without a condom does not block AIDS.
I am anti-abortion (for myself), but believe that what other women do is their business, but putting it out there on TV…it’s just not good. This chick is going to end up getting stalked (if not worse) by some pro-lifer extremists.
It’s troublesome to hear you say “I have no problem with abortion.” You say it as if it’s a perfectly easy and acceptable alternative. As if this is just another decision to be made such as choosing blue or black eyeliner.
The reality is that abortion is an extremely difficult decision for women to make and the ugly truth that no one wants to talk about is that no woman WANTS an abortion. Those women enter the abortion facility wounded and they leave even more wounded. I’ve spoken to them. I’ve seen them walk out of the abortion facility over and over again. Crying, broken and lost. Many speak of being haunted with nightmares about the abortion and their aborted child.
Society can rationalize abortion a hundred different ways but the reality is that abortion ends a human life. This human life is a person with distinct and unique DNA separate from his mother; whose heart is in fact beating. Did you know at 9 weeks in the womb the baby can already suck its thumb? And at 14 weeks the baby has fingerprints?
I just find it so unbelievable that your issue is that these women are being exploited by MTV when abortion (and Planned Parenthood) exploits and destroys women in a much greater way.
Today Catholics celebrate the feast of the Holy Innocents, when Herod ordered the killing of all males 2 years and younger in and around Bethlehem. How ironic that MTV will air this particular episode tonight.
I don’t understand why there is so much controversy. If this show is going to tackle the hard truth about Teen Pregnancy, they have to be mindful of all sides of the issue. I respect her for using her FREE WILL in making the best choice for herself. She knows she can’t afford another child, and she did what she had to do.
Though MTV is working with pro-choice groups, it’s because there are others who may face this same issue. We all know that you don’t HAVE to choose abortion, but it’s good to have the OPTION. Mistakes happen, and this is one choice of many. If she had kept this baby & needed welfare, there would be even more people complaining about that. At the end of the day, don’t take away a woman’s right to choose because you don’t agree with it. Just don’t do it yourself. Volunteer to adopt the baby if the woman doesn’t abort it. I mean, it’s only fair.
I applaud her strength in admitting her mistake and making a choice. Abortion is NOT easy, and it should NOT be a method of birth control.
@ guesty
I remember her! She had to strip, I mean “dance” to support her siblings AND her PREGNANT teen sister (AND the father, I believe). She would call home between sets. So sad.
I really felt bad for her because she was the only one really trying very hard to keep them together…
The problem that I have with this show is that it ultimately teaches nothing. I come from a pro-choice perspective, but that doesn’t mean that I agree with her choice or with the lifestyle she led to get herself in this position yet again. If the “stars” of 16 and Pregnant don’t learn from their experiences, what the hell is the general public supposed to learn? This kid couldn’t figure out how NOT to get pregnant as a teenager, AGAIN…after being the focal point of a show that touts itself as a deterrent? And now, we need to lend a sympathetic perspective to her as she chooses to abort?
This story will do nothing to promote any cause…her own, pro-life, pro-choice…it doesn’t matter. It simply highlights and glorifies human stupidity.
I understand both sides. But I feel for the unborn child as he/she has no voice now. I feel the mother should have the child and give him/her up for adoption. I feel it’s wrong to terminate someone’s life b/c you, yourself, made a mistake in your medication schedule. If you aren’t responsible to follow your medication regime and then have sex, well it’s your fault, not the child. Yes I have missed doses, etc but my husband and I have used backup methods like condoms, pull-out methods, etc. Creating a life is serious business and I feel anyone of any age should monitor their sexual life as such. If you don’t want another child, then try all means to protect yourself. Your partner can get a vasectomy. You can have your tubes tied, etc. Please save your baby and let him/her bless someone else (or a couple) that is unable to reproduce.
The issue with adoption is that there are so many children in the system that never get adopted. It is always made out that placing the baby up for adoption is easy and the child will have a better life. Not every mother has a family ready and waiting to adopt her child. Minority children are seldom adopted, so there is a likelihood that all the children who were not aborted will still be in that system waiting on a family.
I think pro-lifers oversimplify things. “Don’t abort it, place it up for adoption”. Be honest. If you keep this child, you may end up giving that child a worse life than if you keep it. In some cases, keeping that child can risk YOUR life. Just respect women’s rights and be honest. Sandra Bullock is one of few who adopted Black babies in America. Others go overseas. It doesn’t look favorable…
@Kat
CB’s own personal opinion on abortion is irrelevant to this story. Using her personal perspective as a platform for the Catholic agenda (note: I am Catholic) is simply picking a fight for the sake of picking a fight. People are pro-choice. People are pro-life (a term that irks me…it’s not as though pro-choice people are ever really pro-abortion). CB is one of millions that support a woman’s right to choose. Your own belief system has nothing to do with it.
If you want to talk about exploitation, let’s look at the people who harass women going in and out of clinics, flashing signs with dead babies and screaming scripture and “MURDERER!”. Nobody chooses abortion as an easy way out, and women who undergo it will obviously be haunted by it. It’s the nature of the procedure.
It doesn’t matter if I believe in abortion or not, but without a doubt I believe in a woman’s right to make that choice for herself. I am a staunch pro-choice supporter and believe women should have medical access without being made out to be “sinners, killers and whores,” by the holier than thou. Abortion can be argued from all sides, but all it comes down to is a women’s right to make the decision that is best for her. I for one, don’t want my rights spoken for.
I’m far more concerned with the exploitation of this young girl by MTV. Also this sheds light on just how misinformed and uneducated young girls are about birth control. Let’s educate our young girls about being responsible if they choose to be sexually active.
Ah….and here comes the can of worms dumped all over our heads.
Sure, no one WANTS girls to have abortions. But so much of the anti-abortion movement is also tied up in not allowing young people good access to preventative methods for young women (and heck adults). Pharmacists that won’t prescribe birth control, parents that don’t want sex ed. in school, abstience only programs, companies that will cover viagra but not bc, etc etc. All of these debates factor into the abortion debate since I think that if you really don’t want women to make this choice, (And I’m sorry-it’s legal and that’s the framework it operates under now), then give them some freaking affordable and non-shaming options to prevent the thing to start with. Maybe some health care and post-natal support to while we’re at it. Putting your child up for adoption is a noble idea, but labor is expensive and most agencies aren’t going to pay for that stuff. Not to mention the vast amount of kids in the system right now.
Personally, while I don’t think I would ever have a abortion I’m glad that abortions can now be done in a safer way. My uncle was a ER doc in the 50’s and 60’s, and the stories he had from women who had botched abortions were horrifying. Think coat hangers and douches with lysol awful. Abortion has been around for years and years, making it illegal or the current idea of making it hard to obtain won’t stop women who are truly desperate.
“So now there’s a girl who HAD to get an abortion”
That’s a poor choice of words. She did not HAVE TO HAVE an abortion, she had other options.
It does bother me that this young girl is being put out on the forefront of this issue. I am glad to hear that she is seeing someone to cope with what she is going through. However, young people need to see others who are struggling with the same issues that they are, and how they are coping.
It is HER body, and thankfully still HER choice. Abortion is not an easy decision. If nothing else those who watch will be better informed about contraception. I don’t believe there is anyone who wouldn’t rather see less unwanted pregnancies/less abortions. It boggles my mind when anti-choice people are also anti-education/anti-contraception.
Kat – “…and the ugly truth that no one wants to talk about is that no woman WANTS an abortion.”
Unless you know the circs of every woman who’s ever been in a situation where abortion is an option, then don’t make such outlandish and ridiculous sweeping statements.
And CB stating she had ‘no problem with abortion’ is her acknowledging that it should be a personal choice for every woman, not, as you’ve decided to interpret it, as a casual, careless or thoughtless option.
I am torn with this one. I am extremely angry with MTV and reality TV overall because I feel like they are sensationalizing terrible things and it’s damaging to our society. But on the other hand, I am really glad there is a platform for teens to talk about this openly. I remember when I was that age, there was no one I felt I could talk to about things like this, and I am glad that teens now feel they can share their feelings about it. They need to be informed and hear first-hand experiences with how difficult it is to make these decisions. I don’t think they really understand the weight of the situation without having that ability to have person-to-person discussions.
Just have to weigh in to say that abortion should always be included as a necessary part of women’s healthcare. My body, my decision.
i don’t understand the big deal. f you don’t agree with it, don’t watch it. it’s our CHOICE if we want the child or not, and sometimes it’s really for the better. had two abortions early on in my first marriage. i knew it wouldn’t have been right to bring those children into that household. me and my other two kids were barely surviving as it was. i don’t see how any woman can honestly say they should take our right to abortion away. it’s crazy.
@kc, really, the pull-out method? Because you might as well be doing nothing.
I have a lot of conflicted feelings about this episode. I feel like MTV is exploiting all of the mothers for the shows, but this seems a lot worse. Some anti-choice people are violent. Doctors who perform abortions have been murdered. It seems like it would be pretty easy for someone to kill this girl in order to make a statement.
@ Isabel
That’s what makes me so upset with Pro-Lifers I see in Memphis. They stand outside of Planned Parenthood bashing every woman who goes in to the clinic. They’re outside with signs and their own kids telling you to “turn away from murder” etc. People have a right to whatever they want to believe in. It just appears as if nobody respects those rights.
I went to Planned Parenthood to pick up condoms for a health care presentation. I was being YELLED at by them incessantly! “Don’t do it!” “Don’t be a murderer”! When I came back out, they rejoiced until I yelled “sorry, I forgot my ID”!
I know I was wrong for that, but it bothered me. Respect my rights. Respect others.
I am not gonna get into the abortion debate though I will say for myself that I, personally, would never be able to go through with it. But I will not judge anyone else.
But just wanted to add: Kat – I hope you do know that the story of Herod and the killing of the infants is a legend. It is not recorded in any credible historical source.
@sigh…her name was unique. they should do a follow-up on her. she was so sweet.
Since when is it okay to have the audacity to judge another’s very personal, and extremely difficult decision?
Having been a teen in crisis, I can assure you-NO ONE wants an abortion. I was harassed, called awful names while I was walking into the women’s clinic getting a PAP-smear!! Because I had no health insurance and needed after-care when I found myself pregnant, despite every precaution taken. Those “pro-life” zealots would rather buy a piece of property in front of an abortion clinic to protest—than to use that money to take in a scared,pregnant girl,support her and help her keep that baby or give her another option to carry to full term. Such bullshit!!! To those awful protestors:
Mind your own business, stay out of my reproductive organs. Scaring,scarring an already petrified, hurt, desperate girl is cruel and disgusting.
DO SOMETHING BESIDES INCITE VIOLENCE, be part of the solution not part of the problem.
Those useless nut-jobs think abortion is murder–but its ok to murder a doctor…..STUPIDITY,IGNORANCE hidden under the guise of religion….so sad
Wow! Look at this controversy. What do you think MTV wanted?? Attention, ratings.. money.. that is why they are airing such a touchy topic!
I would not personally have an abortion. Having had a miscarriage, and ectopic (where I almost died) and one live birth, my miracle son, I could not lose another. Chances of this ever happening are slim to none but still. The circumstances would have to be completely outrageous for me to make that kind of decision.
However, I do not judge anyone who makes that decision. It is a woman’s decision. Period.
This child should not have been exploited like this. Shame on MTV.
Well there have been documentaries on worst topics with younger subjects. I think the only people who have a problem with this special are pro-lifers. I think pro-lifers should mind their own business. I applaud women who make a difficult choice like abortion and I know they make that choice because its not fair to the potential human being to be born in whatever situation awaits them and its not fair to those already living and hell maybe its just not something the woman wants to do. Women should have this choice. I get beyond angry when I hear people trying to take this right away. Like seriously there are teenage girls and grown women throwing actual living infants in the trash.
My body, my decision.
Oh cool. Boil down a supremely complex and difficult issue to a bumper sticker.
I highly recommend a thoughtful documentary on the topic “Lake of Fire”. It’s possibly one of the hardest to watch movies I’ve ever seen and truly shows both sides in all it’s ugliness. Abortion is ugly and horrible. Tormenting the women who have had abortions is no better. One of the lines from this documentary strikes me here-
“This is one of the few instances in life where everyone is right”.
It’s a woman’s decision. What more needs to said?
Isabel – brava!
Hello 🙂
This will be my last posting.
I am for a woman’s right. I am a woman and I’ve had to fight for a lot. I was raised with abuse and am from a divorced family with a history of baggage. Through it all, I am glad I am alive regardless. I have made necessary changes to break the cycle.
But I think you are missing the entire point of my message. I am writing on a variety of angles regarding this case.
I do agree that children get “lost” in the system. I agree with some of your points. Please reread the issues I was addressing.
if you are against abortion that is your choice, but we need to work to make unwanted pregnancies more uncommon. abstinence would be ideal for high school kids (personally i hope my nieces & nephews will stay virgins until they are 25) but let’s be real – most kids will have some form of sex. let’s make sure they understand the risks and the consequences, and give them access to birth control. i feel for this young woman, but i am tired of hearing/seeing pregnancy and families with a gazillion kids on every damn TV station.
I love how everyone keeps on saying “it’s not an easy decision to make, so devastating on the woman”.
I am 26 year old woman. I had an abortion. I did not regret it one bit. I was at work at 3 am, as I was a baker at the time, when I started throwing up. I went home at 8 am, called my doctor at 9, and had an abortion by noon, at five weeks, via a pill. Within less than twenty four hours of knowing I was pregnant, I was already aborting.
I made the right decision. I do not regret it. From time to time I do think what life would be like if I’d had a baby with my ex, but in no way has it affected my life.
You think I’m “glamorizing” by being honest? Too fucking bad. I’d rather see a woman get an abortion and deal with the emotional aftermath, than see a woman have a baby she doesn’t want, and deal with THAT emotional aftermath and that of the next eighteen years as she deals with the difficulties of raising a child she is ill prepared for. Now THAT is some fucking honesty.
i fear that Markai will be harassed mercilessly by anti-abortion lunatics. I hate that MTV is putting this very personal decision on camera.
I know a number of women who have had abortions and not one of them regets it or is ‘broken’ or ‘haunted’and two of them are mothers now. Typical load of anti-choice twaddle to tar everyone with the one emotional brush. As to the adoption line, women are not incubators for the childless. If a woman does not wish to be pregnant she ought to have the right not to be. It’s her body.
It’s so sad that they choose a vulnerable child as the lightening rod for the abortion debate. She doesn’t even realize she’s being exploited by a mega-corporation for profit.
I wonder how many zeros were on that check.
I wonder how long it takes before she realized that she sold her soul for ratings.
I’m vehemently pro-choice, but putting a young girl out there as the face of abortion unacceptable. Statistics show that the majority of women who opt to terminate pregnancies are women in their 30’s, with 2-4 school-aged dependents. Established women. Women who realize that they cannot bring another life to this world without disrupting the quality of love and life of their other children.
If MTV really wanted to create a forum for debate, they’d interview various women who’ve had different experiences following their abortions – instead of focusing on one girl during her decision making process.
So sensationalist.
So exploitive.
Okay, now I am reposting for the good.
Please, I have no distaste against anyone. Are you people actually reading what I’m writing? I do agree in free will and a woman has to do what she has to do, etc. I do agree there are unique circumstances for abortion: rape, or a serious medical condition regarding the mother and/or child. But please note, that if I made a mistake, should I make you pay for it? I am not standing there pointing fingers. That is why I wrote different angles on the article. But lastly, it’s not just what the woman wants, a life has been created. You all are here, regardless of your life’s circumstances~good or bad~through the choice that your mother birthed you.
I agree with exclamation point. I really liked the last paragraph. I agree with everything she said.
This is real life people! Let’s get it out there instead of sweeping it under the carpet and pretending it doesn’t exist.
@ashleighlauren Have you been reading word for word what I’ve written? The pull-out was an example. If you are sure you are finished having children, then get fixed, do your best to prevent it at all costs, and/or stop having sex.
Until the 1860’s abortion was a relatively common choice. Most people understood it was a private choice for a woman and she could find herbal remedies quite easily that would cause her menstrual blood to start flowing again.
I believe the extreme rhetoric that the pro-life faction uses does more harm in causing guilt and shame in women who choose abortion, than the aftermath of the choice itself.
And KC you may feel that noone else should pay for your carelessness, but the child born to a woman who has little resources to mother will always pay the most.
Children are not on purpose disposables. Like I wrote, there are unique circumstances where abortion is necessary. But imagine if you were “an accident” and your mother discarded you b/c of what she wanted. Of what she never even thought you might like to have a life.
I have read about the show but have not watched it.
Can someone tell me if the girls are paid to be on this show?
Do they hope to become Reality TV Stars?
Do they receive clothes or other perks? I noticed in a magazine that one of them was fashionably dressed in what looked like a brand new outfit, coat to boots, which would be difficult to afford as an unwed teen mother.
Just wondering what incentive this girl had for going on the show. I agree she is not prepared for what will happen.
@ Angela Once again, I will repeat myself. Have you read all that I’ve written. I do understand what it’s like to have a very difficult life. I won’t get into the gory details. And yes I don’t want any other child to go through the same mess. I have tried to fight and make life right for me and my family, one day at a time. Have we all lost hope in this world? Realities do exist, but so do success stories. A lot of people I know have been made better people because of their difficult situation. Regardless, nothing in life is guaranteed, even if you come from a highly-lovable family. Yes, having children can destroy and make life difficult for a mother. My mother tried to kill herself when I was young. But she survived. She never tried to kill me, etc. And it is sad that she even tried to take her own life. My mother abused me, etc. But am still grateful that she did her best and I am just wanting to encourage people. Not make a fight of what’s right or wrong.
I agree Kaiser, 100%!
Well, I know several women who’ve done it, and some were regretful, some not. If they have or went on to have other kids, overall the attitude was that they did NOT regret it. If they felt like they just did it to please their then-current partner, a couple had regrets about that decision. And then a few people didn’t regret it, but were disappointed that they hadn’t been more careful, and resolved to never be in that position again. I think it’s simply incorrect, and perhaps a bit of denial to push down difficult feelings, to think that everyone who gets one is fine with it 100%. Ditto for the attitude everyone is completely devastated.
I also want to add that I was educated in a very “pro-life” community. I know the pro-life arguments ad nausem, because I felt very strongly them growing up. Always a nerd, I even debated the merits of pro-life at state level – and placed above my opponent. (Much to the chagrin of my very loving, pro-choice parents.)
And then the damnest thing happen. I went to college and got a comprehensive sex education. (Starkly different than the “abstinence-focus” sex ed in high school.)
I learned about anatomy and biology, of course, but I also learned how sociology, politics and economics played into population control, and I saw for myself the inherent sexism and racism involved in the pro-life/anti-choice movement. The purposeful manipulation/wrongful information various political/religious organizations circulate. The predation on fear and judgement. The real, palpable psychological damage of adoption v abortion. Etc.
The things I’ve seen and the stories I’ve heard have changed my perspective dramatically, and I feel like I’m a more loving, compassionate person because of it. I hope that everyone is fortunate enough in their lifetime to have their ideas challenged positively, and to take other perspectives into consideration before dismissing them entirely. You’ll be a better person for it.
@ !:
Just because you were not emotionally affected by your abortion does not make it true for all women. Lots of us know people who had abortions and went on with their lives, rarely giving it a second thought. But lots of us also know women who were strongly affected and remain so years and years later. I doubt anyone thinks you are glamorizing abortion, or is questioning your honesty. But, I also don’t question the honesty of my best friend, college roommate, or sister-in-law when they tell me that they live with guilt everyday.
*****backing away from this discussion****
I’m sorry but all these people who say she had other options….. were you in her shoes? Who are you to say what options she had. I bet if she didn’t go through with the abortion you would be on the front lines condemning her for keeping the child when she knew she wouldn’t be able to provide for it. And if she went with adoption, you would then be on the front lines, shaking your head and muttering under your breath about how she couldn’t take care of her responsibilities.
Abortion is not an easy decision to make, but it is one that women do make. They do not need to be told that there are better ways by people who have not walked in their shoes, or lived their lives.
I am pro-choice. And while I personally would not make the decision to have an abortion, I will not criticize another woman for making that decision for herself.
As far as MTV goes, yes it does exploit these girls for their gain. But it also opens up the eyes of thousands of impressionable girls who are taught that abstinence is the only way… or who think “oh it’s only once I won’t get pregnant.” This show actually shows the consequences of that type of thinking. It shows girls who have to make real life decisions, regardless of if those decisions are for the best. Keeping the baby, giving the baby up for adoption, or abortion, is a decision thousands of teens go through every day. If watching someone else going through the same struggle helps them to make their own decision or change their mind and chose another, then the show as well as the controversy was worth it, in my opinion.
I just like how the pro-lifers think it’s ok to harass every woman there is who gets or may get an abortion about how they’re ending a life, without knowing the situation or anything, but yet it’s perfectly acceptable to off those doctors who perform abortions. THOSE lives are ok to end.
Hypocrisy much?!
I’m the sister of a special needs woman. You pro-lifers can bite me. You’re not “pro-life”, you’re pro-birth. You don’t give a shit about these babies after they’re born. My parents used to be “pro-life”. After what they’ve had to deal with, they’re firmly committed to being pro-choice. The hypocrisy and pain that they’ve had to deal with being parents to a special needs child and the way they and my sister have been treated by pro-birthers is shameful. When you pro-birthers support providing comprehensive sex education to kids, access to free birth control to anyone who wants it and you quit supporting politicians who want to cut funding to special education and who oppose health care coverage, I’ll actually give a crap what you think.
I just want to point out that “pro-life” is a misnomer. There is only pro-choice or anti-choice. You either believe a woman should have the right to control her own reproductive system, or you don’t. Call it like it is.
Sorry, but that really irks me. Pro-life…try pro-fetus, because so many “pro-lifers” out there don’t give a &%$# about that baby once it’s born. Many of those same people are also anti-sex education and want to eliminate welfare for single mothers who DO choose to keep their children. Pro-life? Seriously, spare me.
Also, anyone saying nonsense like “women are damaged after having an abortion” is LYING, or making sweeping generalizations about all women based on a few cases. I had an abortion when I was a teenager, and while it was an excruciating decision to make, it was THE best choice I’ve ever made for myself and I do not regret it. Millions of women every year have abortions and manage to go on with their lives without having nervous breakdowns or experiencing a lifetime of guilt.
If you are TRULY ENLIGHTENED by your first unplanned pregnancy, you do not allow a second one to occur. I don’t care what excuse is given: if you don’t want to have another child, you take the appropriate precautions. Don’t give me this “I forgot my shot” or “didn’t remember to take my pill” shit.
Abortion is a CHOICE. It’s NOT a form of birth control, it’s a last result. We don’t live in the 19th century; there are ways to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
I wouldn’t deny any woman the right to choose an abortion (I don’t want to be told what I can & cannot do with my body either, especially by a man and/or women who are beyond the age of conception), but I will freely judge any woman who uses abortion instead of (readily available, and free) birth control. Call me a bitch, I don’t care. I speak the truth.
The issue is NOT black and white. Abortion is not an easy decision nor is it a pleasant experience. I got one as a teen due to being raped. Now pro-lifers would have said the right thing to was to carry to term and put the child up for adoption. However, I was such a young kid and tormented by the experience that for my well-being I had an abortion. I am still haunted by the situation.
@Kat –
I worked in a women’s clinic. I had to sit down with each and every woman and girl that came in for an abortion and help them fill out the forms and ask them the questions necessary before performing any medical procedure.
Most of them (9 out of 10) WANTED the abortion. They W-A-N-T-E-D it.
Long story short: you’re full of crap.
Your faith doesn’t put you in a position to know what every woman wants or does not want. My position and experience working as a counselor doesn’t put me in the position to know what every woman wants or does not want.
A woman in the position of having to decide between continuing a pregnancy or not, for whatever reason, is the only one who knows what she wants or does not want.
@Margo and EarthWindFire2
I’ve had the same experience at planned parenthood. What many of these pro-life zealots seem to forget is that planned parenthood does a lot of important things for reproductive health that are totally unrelated to abortion and even birth control.
For example, I have chronic ovarian cysts. I also have HPV. They say 80% of the population has HPV in one form or another. Anyway, with my medical history, I am considered at high risk for cancer. I have to have regular check ups and yearly biopsies. Planned parenthood, bless them, does this for me for free because I have a low income. I am very grateful for them. Their doctors have always been very patient and caring towards me. My trips there have nothing to do with aborting a baby, and everything to do with saving my life.
At the clinic I usually go to, the crazies usually only congregate outside on Saturdays. They are horrible. They yell things at the girls coming in about saving their babies, saving their souls, blah blah blah without any regard for why these women are actually at the clinic. One weekend, one of them even grabbed me by the arm and told me not to commit murder. I kind of snapped.
I told the woman that I was at the clinic to make sure I don’t die from cancer and that I was here to save a life, not take one. Of course, these people don’t care about a life that’s already in progress. They only care about the nameless, faceless human potential I may or may not one day be carrying in my womb. Nevermind my life.
The woman didn’t even apologize for grabbing me. She only made some half assed comment about how I should always keep my mind open to other options should I become pregnant.
Personally, I am pro-choice. But, considering the host of reproductive problems I have, I would have a very tough time deciding what to do with an unplanned pregnancy. Several doctors have said it will be difficult for me if I ever do want to conceive. So, everyone can rest assured that I would not make the choice to end a pregnancy lightly. I hope never to have to make that choice. I hope that if I ever do manage to make my uterus work as intended that I will be happy, married and ready for the situation. But, if things don’t turn out that way, I am glad that I will still have a choice in the matter.
@ Isobel – My Women’s Studies prof had a speaker in our class who said she was “Pro-woman, pro-life, pro-choice.” That’s what I am, too. I don’t want anyone (especially men in law-making positions and Catholic women who are too old to have children) telling me what to do with my body. Abortion is not a choice for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a choice for another woman. I just resent abortion being referred to as “birth control.” It’s not birth control, it’s a last resort. There are plenty of methods of birth control (often free) that don’t involve what it takes mentally, physically, and emotionally to have an abortion.
@ Cleo – That’s exactly what I mean: It’s easy to be “pro-life” when you’re a man, a Catholic woman who is beyond the age of conception, or married to someone who makes enough to support however many children “God blesses you with.” So why aren’t these anti-abortion/pro-life women (and men) lining up to adopt these children they so desperately want born, or financially supporting the women who don’t have abortions? Hypocrisy, thy name is evident.
first – i concur with all the pro choice comments, especially MissyA, !, Cleo, tiffany, love angelia, et al…
second – i have MANY issues with this, the major one being that MTV is just using this controversy and ultimately glamorizing the issue… let’s be honest: this is a young girl getting exploited by a corporation that wants more controversial ratings…
do i think a woman has the right to chose? abso-frakking-lutely! “life” for me and many pro-choice peeps is about more than a heartbeat or cells put together… its about the totality of that child’s life… as someone pointed out, i too have noticed that most pro-lifers are about pro-birth and then after the birth, just pray about it ya’ll… i mean, i guess god is supposed to send down the clothes, food, educational money, clothes money and all other things all mothers will need to take care of this uber important life he has a plan for??? right??? [is my sarcasm a bit much?]
Well we can all debate the abortion topic till we are blue in the face and it won’t change a thing! (let’s face it, we aren’t going to agree about this…probably ever)
I think the point of this post was to discuss MTV airing a special on abortion, not weather abortion is morally right or wrong. Personally I think that it is good that MTV is airing this show because like it or not, a pregnant teenager has some difficult decisions to make and whether or not to keep the baby is the most important one. Maybe this will show the cruel reality of the situation, so that other teens will think twice before hopping into bed, knowing that they could possibly have to face something like this in the future. The whole situation is sad, and could be so easily prevented…Out of my 4 best friends in Catholic high school 2 of them ended up pregnant before we graduated and 1 got pregnant right into college, as well as a few of them even got STDs..Funny that none of that ever happened to me and it wasn’t because I was a good catholic school girl, but I knew enough to know how to protect myself from STDs and pregnancy. It’s hard to imagine so many girls out there don’t care enough about themselves to think ahead and be responsible.
I agree with @Cleo and @ ! :
If you don’t agree with abortion- fine. It’s Markai’s choice and if she can deal with it then so can I. I get tired of people who say abortion wrong only except if….. It’s okay for a woman to have an abortion even if she wasn’t raped or abused because it’s her body therefore her decision – end of story.
The saddest thing about this IMO is that Markai is going to be the target of many prolife groups and harrassed by many of the extremists out there because of her decision to allow this on MTV.
I am pro-choice, and I am DISGUSTED that MTV is exploiting this poor girl and what should be her private choice and experience. She is too young to understand the implications of going through this on television, and they have done nothing to prepare or protect her. Instead, they have isolated her. Dr. Drew has NO experience with abortion counseling. He is only an addiction specialist. He should have recused himself or asked for another therapist to work with him on this. This is shockingly unethical on so many levels.
I’m proudly pro choice. For the poster above who speaks of women leaving clinics in pain- I know many women who have had abortions and have no qualms about it. I am one of those women.
I absolutely agree this show is exploitive- and I worry about the safety of the young woman featured.
Abortion is and should be a legal and available option for all women. It’s a personal decision between the woman, her doctor and anyone else she chooses to confide in. Outsiders’ opinions have no place in this decision.
I absolutely agree this show is exploitive- and I worry about the safety of the young woman featured, as she is an easy target for extremists. I also hope she learns form her experiences and is successful with her future birth control use.
I’m proudly pro choice. For the poster above who speaks of women leaving clinics in pain- I know many women who have had abortions and were not full of self doubt or torment afterwards. They had no qualms or regrets about their decisions. I am one of those women. The response to this procedure depends on the individual.
Abortion is and should be a legal and available option for all women. It’s a personal decision between the woman, her doctor and anyone else she chooses to confide in. Outsiders’ opinions have no place in this decision.
Anti choice people focus on abortion as murder, which requires the belief that life begins at conception. Anti choice people often have a religious directive guiding their belief as well. So, by presenting the argument that abortion is murder, you are pushing your religious and philosophical beliefs onto others. I don’t force others to get abortions, nor do I push my agnosticism. I am in no way criticizing the “life begins at conception” point of view, just the attempts to force others to subscribe to it.
These girls are to young for their decisions to be made public. They may think they can live with it now but their lives will change as they mature.
They will never be able to get their anonymity back again.
Bellaluna, that is also a sweeping generalization. Easier said than done. I had two surprise pregnancies, each with two different types of failed BC. I have found one that works for me now, but don’t call people ignorant or unenlightened. Because, yes, accidents do happen, even to educated women who have taken multiple precautionary measures.
According to CDC statistics, women are 11 times more likely to die from childbirth than from having an abortion. Noone has a right to force a woman to give birth against her will.
If this young lady is in danger from anti-abortion extremists, its precisely BECAUSE of anti-abortion propaganda and social pressure from the so-called “pro-life” people. They’re to blame more than MTV.
I agree with you Kaiser: “there’s a girl who had to get an abortion and MTV is going to put her out there for people to talk about and debate over. I don’t think she’s prepared for this”.
Personally, I’m Pro Choice – it’s the woman’s body, and she has to decide what to do and then make peace with that decision. The anti-abortion extremists are going to make her life hell…
@ MissyA (#35) – “If MTV really wanted to create a forum for debate, they’d interview various women who’ve had different experiences following their abortions – instead of focusing on one girl during her decision making process.
So sensationalist.
So exploitive.”
You nailed it on the head.
I’m on the fence about this issue. I have been pro-choice ever since I knew what abortion was. Then I had a kid and became a bleeding heart. I believe that life begins at conception. At the same time, I feel as if I have no right to make that decision for anyone. So, I guess I’m still pro-choice. There really is no correct answer for this issue. Although I do believe that with proper sex education and more readily available birth control the need for abortion can be minimized. In a perfect world…
Anyway, I feel for this girl. She is not ready for the hate and judgement that will be or already has been directed towards her. I think she set out to do this show to show the other side of the story without thinking of the consequences.
Kat – “…and the ugly truth that no one wants to talk about is that no woman WANTS an abortion.”
Unless you know the circs of every woman who’s ever been in a situation where abortion is an option, then don’t make such outlandish and ridiculous sweeping statements.
****************
Not an “outlandish” statement at all. For MOST women, abortion is not really seen as a choice, but as the only way out of a bad situation, often because she can’t afford to support herself, much less a child. A perfunctory look at the CDC stats compared with economics of each year shows the rise and fall in abortion levels rises and falls with the economy, ie higher when George HW was president, lower during the Clinton years when the economy was good and on the rise again with the economy tanking. MOST don’t WANT to have an abortion, but do it because they truly don’t see any other choice, other than poverty and constant struggle.
@ original bellaluna, I agree completely. I personally know a woman who had SIX abortions because she didn’t want to have to remember her pills, a few were very late and she had to travel two states away to get a doc to do it. Fast forward to when she got married, she was unable to have a baby because she was loaded with scar tissue and there was nowhere for the baby to stick. F-ck her that is her karma. Using abortion in lieu of b/c is screwed up. Get fixed by that time. We also have a (thankfully distant) family member who has had four admitted and a fifth suspected one. She takes no b/c either. There’s choice and then there is stupidity.
As far as MTV, these teen pregnancy shows need to go. They really do, whether the girls have the babies or not, it’s just gross. And I really wonder about this 19 year old. How long did she wait to have the procedure waiting to be picked up by MTV and working around their schedule of filming? Scary and icky, especially since its better to have it earlier, rather than waiting around to get on TV. The whole thing sickens me from this to the abusive and neglectful mothers portrayed on that show. Since when is selfishness glorified and the biggest idiots in the country made into ‘stars’ for their moronic and destructive behavior? And maybe its just me, but does a 19 year old really qualify as a ‘teen’ mom?
I’m nostalgic for the days when MTV was MUSIC television. They need to go back to their roots!
wow, this girl is making herself known to the entire world for having an abortion. that is scary. other teen girls that would choose to have an abortion will just quietly go through with it with only one or two people knowing about it. by going on tv she is putting herself in a much harder place emotionally, because she is going to be scrutinized. I also agree that she is too young for her decisions to be on national tv, especially when it is such a sensitive issue.
MTV
Gawd, will somebody freakin’ take over this lowlife network and just put the music back in Mtv?
Pro-choice here, unbelievably anti-MTV. The producers over there must have been raised by Chia pets, wild dogs, Capone style gangsters, and Anna Nicole Smith’s horny ghost.
Forget scruples. One will do.
i feel kind of bad for her, im pro-abortion and everyone is entilted to their opinion, you dont know peoples personal situations.
The special was interesting and thought provoking. Nothing to get excited about.
I did not get the feeling that Markai and the other 2 women who appeared were being exploited, and I, for one, am glad that MTV decided to explore this option. The special was appropriate and done tastefully.
@daisyfly: Bravo. Couldn’t have said it better.
I’m not the anti-abortion “Kat”, btw. Just in case anyone was confused….
*Peeks in, backs out.* Am staying far away from this topic. I will say this though, poor Markai doesn’t know what she’s in for.
I’ve been doing like I Choose Me since this entry was published: peeking in, reading the comments, backing out.
All I can say from all these discussions is that I’m happy to be living in France where the language doesn’t have any terms to translate “pro-choice” and “pro-life”. Here, abortion is considered a right, period. A right destined for the woman and that cannot be discussed or turned into a privilege. Sure, some hardcore ultra-right wing conservative Christian groups protest against it a couple of times a year but they appear to be a tiny, unimportant group of people. And they never are to be found in front of the family planning clinics where girls can get free birth control, any sort of help with regards to their sexuality, sex life, heart aches, social pressure, etc. and even an abortion if necessary.
I am pro abortion. But this is by far the most unethical inhuman thing to invent for TV. Not only does it encourage peopel to have sex, but that getting an abortion now is ENTERTAINING AND PROFITABLE and that it is socially acceptible. It is just monsterous this program has created AND ALLOWED TO AIR.
I am still pro-abortion because there are serious cases that do require such a procedure. But there is an ethical line to draw.
I am pro-choice but for me abortion would not be the option I would choose. I just believe that people have to live with the consequences of the choices they make so if you have an abortion and move on, good for you. If you have an abortion and forever after wonder about the human being your child might have become and feel bad about it, I am sad for you. If you use abortion as your method of birth control because you are too stupid, uncaring and ignorant to take responsibility for your actions, then I hope your uterus falls out one day.
From a halloween episode of the Simpsons:
Kodos: Abortions for all!
Audience: BOO
Kang: Abortions for none!
Audience: BOO
Kodos; Abortions for some… American flags for others!
Audience:YAY!
I think this sums everything up nicely.
I had to listen to “Loveline” with Dr. Drew for three years straight because of my job. EVERY time a girl with an unexpected pregnancy called in (that I heard…and I heard far too much) Drew adamatley advocated adoption and I never heard him talk about pregnancy termination as an option. It was almost as if it were in his contract not to. He did mention the morning after pill, which he rightly seperated from abortion, as it is NOT an abortion pill. That said, for him to have done the special, was finally him giving voice to the other side. Something I truly feel he did not wish to do, and for that, I’m finally grateful the tough and private decision to terminate a pregnancy, got it’s due time. So, PL-ers, please…you had a good decade of no termination advocacy aired nightly on Loveline. Nationwide.
Back off.
BAN MTV!!! THIS IS SICK! ABORTION AS ENTERTAINMENT? HOW COULD ANYONE WATCH/SUPPORT THIS SHOW! DISGUSTING!
DISGUSTING I’m boycotting MTV. I’m pro-choice but this is just wrong. How fucking stupid can you be anyway, it happened already once so you know it can happen to you and you’re not invincible…I don’t understand people and how stupid they can be. She says she’s too in love with the baby to give it up, so she decides to kill it?!?!? in what universe does that make sense??
@Kim- EXACTLY! Killing your child’s sibling as a tv-show passtime? Just WRONG!
This poor young girl. MTV hands her a big check to tell her story for the money. She is going to get hate mail etc and is to young and uneducated to even begin to be prepared for what being on this show is going to do to her life. Did MTV even consider her best interests? NO!
Whats next showing the actual abortion on MTV???! This is NOT entertainment – its far more serious and private.
I cosign with L(#13), entirely.
Especially in regards to the issue of many who are ‘Pro-Life’ being the ones who are *against* sex-ed classes for their children, and access to birth control methods (& info on how to properly use it).
Pro-Life groups either only teach abstinence (with a religious undertone), or bring up ‘safe sex’ in a very lacking, judgmental ‘shameful’ way. It’s difficult enough to talk to adults about anything related to sex, without adding ‘shame’ or ‘sin’ to it.
I know many pro-life (I’d never say all) are conservative and/or religious. But sex is a natural thing, the odds are that most people are not going to wait until they’re married to become sexually active. Especially teenagers, who have hormones, & make bad decisions.
I’m *very* torn about the issue of abortion. It’s hard for me. But the best way to prevent the issue of abortion is to give these people the tools they need to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Not going to get terribly involved in this. Just wanted to say…I am pro life. Not anti-choice. You are pro choice. Not pro-death/anti-life. Can we please all respect each other?
(as far as the violent ‘pro life’ people…not so much anti-choice as terrorists, IMO).