Oh, Jennifer Aniston… why do you do this to yourself? Scratch that. Why do you do this to us? So it seems like the big rumor making the rounds is that Jennifer Aniston and Adrien Brody have been rubbing all over each other lately. This has not been confirmed or denied, and from my insubstantial digging, everybody seems to be sourcing a report from Showbiz Spy, who claimed to be quoting from The Enquirer. I read the Enquirer every week – and I don’t remember this story, neither does CB. Which makes me wonder where this rumor really did originate.

But all of that is a discussion for another time… Adrien and Aniston. What do you think? He’s a 37 year old Oscar winner, and he hangs out with Gerard Butler and Paris Hilton (not all at once). Aniston is 41 years old, an Emmy winner, and she hangs out with people like Chelsea Handler and Joe Francis. They both should be somehow above their douchey associations, and yet, they’re not. Somehow, they kind of make sense together. Here’s a happy thought: imagine Adrien’s “soul patch” going follicle for follicle with Aniston’s crowning glory. Ah, good times.

JENNIFER Aniston has a crush on actor Adrien Brody. Aniston — who’s divorced from Brad Pitt – apparently got cozy with Brody at a recent Christmas bash.

“Jen and Adrien were flirting with each other outrageously — you could totally tell that they’re an item,” a source told American tabloid the National Enquirer. “At one point, Adrien was leading Jen away in hand. She was rubbing her hands down his back and gazing into his eyes like she was totally smitten. Jen is definitely very taken by Adrien, who has been a close acquaintance of hers for a long time.”

“He’s a charming, intelligent guy who has no pretensions about him whatsoever, so Jen always feels at ease in his company. And besides the fact he isn’t insecure about her success, she loves the dangerous, edgy side to him. He exudes this rugged sex appeal that Jen gravitates towards. But she needs to be careful.”

Meanwhile, it’s been claimed that Aniston’s new perfume isn’t doing very well.

“Jen chose her perfume. But other than launching it at Harrods in London, she’s done no promotion,” a source told Britain’s Now magazine. “No-one knew where to find it and now everyone’s lost interest. The people behind the scent are bound to be disappointed. They can’t figure out why no-one wants to smell like Jen. Marketing shows most people believe Jen smells ‘natural and clean’, which is the opposite of why you’d buy a perfume, so maybe that’s it.”

[From Showbiz Spy]

“He exudes this rugged sex appeal that Jen gravitates towards. But she needs to be careful.” First of all – Adrien wears Ed Hardy. And he has a soul patch. His sex appeal is not “rugged” it’s “douche supreme”. Second of all, “she needs to be careful”? Really? Even some suspiciously well-placed source promoting this new boyfriend has to emphasize the pity party, like she’s a vulnerable little girl? Please. She’s 41 years old, and she likes to get laid, and she likes to screw the most high profile guy she can get. She’s not a trembling, delicate flower.

Anyway, LaineyGossip has a rundown on how she thinks this is going to play out. It’s kind of funny:

Jen’s next film Just Go With It, alongside Adam Sandler, opens in February.

Here’s what a roll-out (for the movie and the relationship) might look like:

* Aniston and Sandler present at an awards show (perhaps the Globes) to kick off promotion for Just Go With It. The Brange is there too. They successfully avoid each other and she’s “seen” with Brody at an afterparty by a People Magazine “exclusive source”. No photos yet.

* Two days later, Jen and Adrien go out for dinner at the Sunset Tower. One blurry (but you know it’s them) shot of them leaving the restaurant makes headline news. 3 out of 6 tabloids put her new romance on their covers.

* The next weekend, Jen hits up Mexico for a quick tanning trip before heavy travel begins on the Just Go With It press tour. Long lens paps shoot her and Adrien embracing on the patio of her resort. Her ass is primes. His abs are tight.

* Brody is seen sneaking into the LA premiere of Just Go With It.

* Just Go With It opens. Solid numbers.

* Both Jen and Adrien are invited to present at the Oscars on February 27th. They arrive separately at the Kodak, but show up at the Vanity Fair afterparty together holding hands. No one cares the next morning who won or lost. It’s all Jen’s New Love all over.

* Adrien books a new movie.

Let’s see how this plays out.

[From LaineyGossip]

I think there will be some variations on this one, actually. You know that Adrien and Gerard Butler are tight, right? Adrien might be better at following orders then Gerard (if you remember, Gerard seemed to be fighting against the studio/publicity campaign to make he and Aniston a couple, especially towards the end of the Bounty Hunter tour). Will Gerard “warn” Adrien? Eh.

And I honestly get the feeling that Aniston is really trying to change up her game a little bit so she’s not so predictable. Will she come to the Globes when she‘s not even nominated? Eh. Is it worth the trouble to ask her to present? Didn’t that game already get played… when was it? Last year? And the year before, at the Oscars. Do a more original rollout, Aniston. Move out of your comfort zone.

Photos courtesy of WENN.