These are new photos of Lindsay Lohan going to the gym in West Hollywood yesterday. She looks ridiculously happy to be photographed. She can’t wipe the smile off of her face. Ah, Blohan is back! And chances are, she didn’t learn a damned thing. You can tell. Well, I can tell. She’s already back to stalking Samantha Ronson (obviously), and now the magnificent crack hustle is underway to avoid any charges from the Palm Desert Police after that little drunken smack down incident. Yesterday, the police issued a statement about the ongoing investigation, and Lindsay’s de facto battery of Dawn Holland. Well, now Lindsay’s crack legal team (you like that one?) has begun that crack hustle to explain away this nonsense. First up: an interesting little hit job provided by TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the Palm Desert Police Department was rabidly trying to get Lindsay Lohan arrested just days after her altercation with a Betty Ford Center staffer.

Sources say a police lieutenant contacted L.A. County Deputy Probation Officer Barbara Parker shortly after Lindsay’s December 12 run-in with Dawn Holland, asking her to come to Betty Ford and arrest Lindsay for violating her probation. When Parker told the lieutenant it would be premature to take such drastic action, we’re told the lieutenant began arguing with her and it got “extremely heated.”

We’ve learned after the call, the lieutenant’s boss called Parker to apologize.

As TMZ reported earlier today, the police are now saying Lindsay violated her probation by committing a battery. What’s interesting is that it’s for the L.A. County Probation Department and ultimately a Beverly Hills judge — not the police in Riverside County — to conclude if Lindsay violated probation.

Sources tell TMZ … the L.A. County Probation Department will take no action against Lindsay unless she’s convicted of battery in Riverside County.

[From TMZ]

Wait, so a lieutenant (not an officer, not a sergeant, not a detective) contacted the probation department to inform them of Lindsay’s probation violation, and urged them TO DO THEIR JOBS, and when they wouldn’t, got into a verbal dispute. And now the whole thing is being positioned as if the lieutenant did something wrong? Fascinating.

Also, Shawn Chapman Holley returned from her bender (poor bitch) to issue a statement about the Palm Desert Police Department’s investigation of her client for battery, amongst other crack shenanigans:

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer says Palm Desert police investigators overstepped their bounds when they announced the troubled actress violated her probation.

“The important, yet limited, investigatory role of the police to gather facts and collect evidence is well-established,” Shawn Chapman Holley tells PEOPLE in a statement. “The fact that the Palm Desert Police Department went outside this limited role to issue a press statement expressing its opinion about what should happen in Ms. Lohan’s case is highly unusual and deeply troubling.”

Holley’s response comes after police on Monday said the actress did, in fact, commit battery against a Betty Ford employee in a Dec. 12 scuffle – and said they plan to hand the case over to local prosecutors for review. Lohan, 24, was released from rehab Monday and faces a routine Feb. 25 progress review hearing.

[From People]

Eh. That legal argument makes more sense that whatever TMZ was trying to pull. Basically, Holley is saying that the police shouldn’t be issuing any statements if and until they file charges. Considering the investigation seems to be ongoing, and has been for weeks, however, don’t you think the investigating officers already have proof of battery? That’s how I took it.

And lastly, for the finale part of the Crack Hustle Trifecta, Radar has a piece about how Lindsay isn’t going to seek to prosecute Dawn Holland for Dawn’s battery of Lindsay. Because Lindsay is the victim of all of this, remember? Dina Lohan sipped her fourth vodka martini of the evening and took a long drag from her Newport, telling Radar: “I am not considering prosecuting this woman because Betty Ford was great to Lindsay. They did the right thing, they let her (Holland) go immediately. She (Holland) has her own past in rehab and she needs to deal with that.” Because all Poor Little Lindsay did was break curfew because she was out drinking, and when she was told to undergo a Breathaylzer, she smacked the crap out of Dawn Holland. But Lindsay is the VICTIM. But you won’t hear her say anything about it. *sniff* Victim, I tell you. CRACK HUSTLE COMMENCE.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Bauer-Griffin.