Shocker! Paris Hilton did not memorize her lines for McCain parody

Paris Hilton is getting all sorts of credit for her massively funny turn in humor website Funny or Die’s response ad to John McCain’s stupid Obama-slamming advertisement last week. She’s interviewed with all sorts of magazines and websites talking about how much fun she had, and several people from the website are talking about how great Paris was, and how she’s such a pro and didn’t need any cue cards for her rather challenging lines. Well no surprise here: that’s total B.S. And frankly, that makes me feel a lot better about myself. I didn’t want to live in a world where Paris Hilton could convincingly rattle off a detailed plan for a new energy policy.

Paris Hilton might want to dust off her stationary and start penning something to that white-haired dude. Paris, John McCain gave you your relevancy back, and the least you owe him is a thank you.

The Funnyordie.com spoof Hilton filmed in a Hamptons backyard made headlines when it aired Aug. 5, and grew legs on Aug. 6 when news that Hilton didn’t use cue cards for the commercial — but rather memorized the whole thing — broke.

“She couldn’t recite her address without a Teleprompter,” says a Hilton source who’s crying foul on the memorization claim. “If she’s wearing a designer label that has two names, like Dolce & Gabbana, she can only remember the first one. There’s no way that she memorized that whole spot.”

Regardless, the commercial was brilliant, says the source, and proof that Hilton is capable of excelling in the spotlight. “She’s excellent when she’s surrounded by excellent people. The problem is she surrounds herself with morons most of the time,” says the source. “She’s capable of being every bit the celebrity she wants to be.”

[From MSNBC]

Admit it, you just felt a little better about yourself. If we discovered that Paris Hilton had even an ounce of actual talent – or just that she didn’t suck as much as we all thought she did – it’d shake all of us to our very cores. I know my world makes a lot more sense knowing she can’t say, “We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars,” without a little help. Personal intellectual crisis solved.

Here’s Paris Hilton on day three of her whirlwind media blitz in Denmark to promote her upcoming handbag line. Images thanks to Fame.

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29 Responses to “Shocker! Paris Hilton did not memorize her lines for McCain parody”

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  1. daisy424 says:

    Start drilling now. Great idea.
    Hey Pelosi, stop hawking your book and call the ‘boys’ back for a vote.

  2. geronimo says:

    Good, the sun rises, the tide turns, she’s still a vapid moron. Think that ‘excellent in the company of excellence’ comment is a bit of an eye-rolling exaggeration tho’.

  3. elisha says:

    Eeeehhh, I feel like I have to stick up for her some reason. We’re supposed to believe yet another anonymous source (who wasn’t there and is speculating) over the people she actually worked with? She’s taken acting classes, amybe she DOES have some memorization techiniques.

    Plus, who cares if she did use cue cards? It’s still the same result.

  4. Syko says:

    I really hate finding myself defending Paris Hilton, but no matter how she got the delivery across, it’s done well and was really funny. I believe most people use cue cards or teleprompters anyway. Probably even the wrinkled white haired dude.

  5. Dingles says:

    Anyone with functioning eyes could see that she was reading cue cards; I’m amazed so many people thought otherwise. Perhaps people are so used to her wonky eyes they couldn’t tell the difference.

  6. elisha says:

    Yes… as spontanious and off-the-cuff as he seems, even Barack uses a prompter for his speeches. It’s not a sin.

    And Dingles: that was just her wonky eye wonkin-out.

    In other news… looking forward to seeing those purses in the clearance section at Ross Dress for Less.

  7. lulu says:

    she looks like she’s wearing a wig.

  8. journey says:

    if the wrinkled white haired dude used a teleprompter more maybe he wouldn’t keep making mistakes, like talking about countries that don’t exist any more as if they did, and referring to one country when he means a different one.

  9. Kaiser says:

    Yeah, I’m about to defend Paris. *shiver*

    I saw an interview with the Funny or Die director on MSNBC (interview by David Shuster). He said she had her script memorized, didn’t need the cue cards and got it in four takes. After they were finished filming, Paris made the director & crew turkey sandwiches. He said she was as nice & hospitable as possible – and I tend to believe him rather than an anonymous source.

  10. Curly Fry says:

    I have to agree with elisha in the whole who cares if she used cue cards? I just assumed that she did. I have to give credit where credit is due, and Paris finally associated with intelligent people and made a snarky spoof ad. By the way, Christopher Walken refuses to memorize his lines when he appears on SNL and ALWAYS reads from cue cards. Not that I am saying that Paris is in the same universe as Christopher Walken acting-wise, I’m just saying that there are so many other things to give her a hard time about, and this isn’t one of them.

  11. Hollz says:

    Isn’t it a tiny bit hypocritical to believe this unnamed source, when if it was any other celeb, you’d cry foul? I think your hatred of Paris has clouded your opinion a little to much, JayBird.

    I honestly don’t care if she memorized it or not- it was hilarious!

  12. Genevieve says:

    The first time, and the only time, I watched the clip it was more than obvious she was reading. It didn’t once enter my mind that she had memorized any of that. You can see her eyes go back & forth for God’s sake! She was reading people!

  13. geronimo says:

    Agree it doesn’t matter – as Curly Fry says, it’s very low on the list of things to hit her with, and it WAS really funny – but that was yesterday. Can we now please resume normal service and get back to ridiculing her for all the things she does the other 364 days of the year?

  14. Solaera says:

    …”as spontanious and off-the-cuff as he seems, even Barack uses a prompter for his speeches. It’s not a sin.”

    Maybe it is not a sin but Barack relies HEAVILY on the teleprompter. He spews ignorant drivel without it and his staff knows it. Off-the-cuff indeed.

  15. twotouchmiracle says:

    Who the crap is this “source”?

    As the only member of the 1 person crew (along with the director), I can tell you for a fact she was, gasp, memorized for this shoot.

    Other than that good job trying to get more mileage/hits off of the video though.

    Hollywood is as hollywood does.

  16. chaka1 says:

    I hate her so much. Racist skank.

  17. Ron says:

    Here’s the sad part..Paris can either use a teleprompter or memorize lines. Our current President, after nearly 30 years in public life can do neither. And this country elected him……… at least once. Barf.

  18. bethiesny says:

    She was very obviously reading. Her eyes move from side to side. So unless she has some sort of eye disorder, the girl did NOT have those lines memorized. I don’t care either way, but why do people have to ruin a pretty darn funny moment by saying she had it memorized? Who cares? And why lie?

  19. twotouchmiracle says:

    losers,

    she was memorized end of. She was looking directly at the camera. The only way to do this is with a teleprompter, which there is no way in hell our crew could afford.

    TTM

  20. MEchelle says:

    If you watch the damn thing you can tell she’s reading cue cards. Cheebus.

  21. genna says:

    She did not write, create, nor originate this video. It was written by Henchy and McKay. She had nothing to do with it but flub her lines. Sheesh, people, wake up. Do you honestly think she’s going to give credit to anyone other than herself? Count the cut-edits…pretty poor shoot as well.

  22. Call says:

    Kaiser;

    What did you think the director would say? He’s a gentleman, for Pete’s sake. And there were a LOT more than four takes — count the edit cuts. No one is saying that Paris is the kind of person to throw rocks at someone at a shoot…she’s just an enormous phony. I’ve read some of the comments she’s come out with during the past year, and she is quite a liar.

  23. Snowblood says:

    Cute header photo. She looks 1,000 times better when she cracks a genuine smile.

    It matters not one whit whether or not she either memorised or read or half-memorised, half-read, her monologue for that awesome FunnyOrDie video. I have a feeling she did memorise most of it, especially when she launches into the “politician-speak” about off-shore oil drilling etc. Whatever she might have had trouble remembering verbatim, she got promp-help on, just like everyone else in front of a camera doing small, short shoots like this. Or, big, long shoots, too, come to think of it.

    Gossip-rag and daily tabloid “sources” are never, ever real, are they? Since when is an unnamed, non-verifiable nebulous “source” ever right? Besides Deepthroat?

  24. WilliamG says:

    I’m always amazed at the people who buy into image hype, and what someone or something looks like.

    This is a woman who claimed that she created her “empire” all on her own; that she’s “running a huge company,” or that West Africa is a great country, or my least favorite, “Yeah…I hear Rwanda is really dangerous.” (Just a few examples out of many.) Reading a script that someone else has written isn’t her problem – it’s talking on her own, unrehearsed, and off the cuff. If I were her PR rep, I’d hire a bodyguard to tackle anyone that got within 10 feet of her with a microphone.

  25. WilliamG says:

    She didn’t do this video out of political consciousness; she has proven, time and again that she has none. She did it for the publicity. Some things never change.

    Sorry, but I’m not impressed with someone just because they are pretty, know how to strike a pose, or know how to make a turkey sandwich.

  26. WilliamG says:

    She didn’t do this video out of political consciousness; she has proven, time and again that she has none. She did it for the publicity. Some things never change.

    Sorry, but I’m not impressed with someone just because they are pretty, know how to strike a pose, or know how to make a turkey sandwich.

  27. reluctant cynic says:

    The fact that there are actually people who actually think she memorized, thought of, or in any way contributed intellectually to either the energy policy debate or to this crappy spoof is a sure sign that our society is slow-circling down the toilet. Celebitchy, we who are about to drown, salute you!

  28. Genvieve says:

    To Reluctant:

    Bravo! Thanks for saying what many of us out here think!

  29. twotouchmiracle says:

    she even came up with a coule of the funnier lines.