Let’s not pretend that anybody but Ryan Gosling was the hottest guy at last night’s golden Globes. Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t really feeling the man-candy (or as Colin Firth says it, “the robust triangle of man love”) at the Globes. Too many pretty boys, too many boring dudes. And then Ryan Gosling walked into my life. Sigh… the Gosdong. It’s amazing. He’s so, so beautiful. He releases hotness pheromones too, that can be felt through the television. The best part? Blake Lively was nowhere to be seen. No Blake Lively trying to climb up on him, thank God. Maybe it’s really over between them.
And now everybody else. How about some man-child Sparkles? I loved how he barely got to speak when he presented. I hate his red hair, but it’s for some reshoots on Water for Elephants. All in all, he made an effort to not be such a mouth-breather, so good for him.
Oh, my Hamm, my Hamm. Why did Mad Men get shut out? Why no love for the Hamm Dong? Sigh…
Do you know how much I love Mark Ruffalo? I adore him so, so much. Here he is, dancing with his wife.
Johnny Depp – I know a lot of you hate how he’s been looking lately, but I thought he looked nice last night. He looks great when he’s not wearing eyeliner.
I know some of you (Melissa Leo!) love some Jeremy Irons. He’s not my type, but I will throw you bitches a bone.
I love the new and improved Christian Bale so much. He’s trying, y’all. He’s making the effort, personality-wise. So I’ll do him a solid and say that I don’t mind the Jesus beard and hair. Hey, at least it looks clean.
Bruce is starting to look his age. But I kind of love the guy anyway.
I know this inclusion won’t be super-popular, but I thought Trent Reznor was really hot last night. He treated the event with respect, he wore a nice suit, and he spoke very well without having to read off of a prepared list. SEXY. Professionalism is hot.
I find Chris Evans hot. I know I’m kind of alone in that, but I adore him.
Matt Bomer looked really great too – the boy can wear a tux, and I like that he went classic. White Collar is coming back this week!!! Tomorrow, right?
Was Robert DeNiro drunk? Did someone else write his speech? Or was he just having fun, burning the joint down? I don’t know. What I do know is that Matt Damon is adorable.
Joseph Gordon Levitt. Adorable.
Last but not least, Colin Firth. Love him. Adore him. Wish he gave really amazing acceptance speeches, but his aren’t terrible. I want more references to “man love”.
UPDATE: Jesus, I forgot Robert Downey Jr. WTF? I’m really tired, y’all. RDJ wasn’t the best-styled man there, which was disappointing, but he was the best presenter. He was so awesome.
Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.
Don’t forget Michael Douglas! He’s old, but the man is hot.
Thanks for HGGG, Kaiser. I know you must be tired after all these GG items, but you can’t tell from your still fresh writing and your hot guy picks.
Great article! I appreciated you taking the time to point out the dong individually and give your honest opinion one by one.. 🙂
@Johnnydepp’sgirl
Your orgasm to go with a side order of ferremones is ready (with extra mones!)
ryan gosling is god! no doubt about it…
blake lively is scum! no doubt about it…
have you seen how he and olivia wilde were all chatty during the ceremony and at the after party?
don’t wanna start a rumor but i fear that the gos might have a new ‘friend’ since last night.
bummer
ps: some guys should be single so the world population could dream without having to wake up… life a bitch!
kiss
Carol – Well, Olivia Wilde IS MARRIED TO A PRINCE, in case you never read any of her million interviews where she discusses how she’s a princess.
So I doubt anything is happening between Olivia and the Gosdong.
I’ve been disappointed in Trent Reznor since he hooked up with and married that horrible Mariqueen woman and blew off all his old friends. Still hope he has an ironclad prenup with that one, especially with the baby…
I am glad he won, though. The score was the best part of “the Social Network.”
UUUU!
That’s awesome awesomely news, Kaiser!
Forgive my ignorance, but I only know Olivia Wilde exists since last night…
her dress was pretty though, but I wonder how she managed to move between tables.
Loved Pattinson’s blue suit / look last night. I am now officially into Sparkles.
Jesus, I’ll always love Bruce Willis. He’s the man.
@ Liana
are you close to Trent or anyone he knows? If not how do you know he “blew off all his old friends” and that his wife is “horrible”? He seems happy and that’s good for him.
And on that topic, is he a father yet? Does anyone know?
Best thread ever.
I find Chris Evans totally HOT and dkfjaljdsklafjdklajfkldjfl delicious.
I do agree though Jeremy Irons is the guy of my “shy older man with an accent who would probably die from ecstasy whilst I touch his neck” fantasies~
Bruce Willis for evah!
I friggin’ love RDJ to the end of the earth – his wife is the luckiest chick ever. Adore Colin Firth – just want to give him a huge kiss and hug. And thank you Johhny for wearing a proper tux – looks fantastic.
It kinda looks like T-Rez gained all the pregnancy weight instead of his wife.
AND OH BRUCEY BABY DO I LOVE YOU OR WHAT?!
I love Sparkles’ red hair; my husband’s is that color when he puts pomade in it. The red looks great on Sparkles, make him look more interesting.
Thanks for including JGL; he is so hot & down to Earth 😀
Bale has crazy eyes in that picture, but DAMN his hair looks amazing! Women would kill for hair that lush & shiny. I wonder what he uses on it… And I am so happy to see that he ditched the track jacket in favor of that lovely suit.
yep, mark ruffalo is the bomb.
and while i hated TKAA, ruffalo was SO yummy in that movie-i mean, i just kept thinking to myself the whole movie-god this movie is annoying, whiney and pretentious, but that guy is so yummy….
have always loved colin firth-great actor. and ditto for RDJ-who i loved from the beginning, thru all his phases….
JGL looks sallow and pale-i dont know, maybe he needs to eat some red meat, or less sugar….but he is sooo cute and a good actor-so there.
ryan g-have NEVER seen a movie he is in. for real. and dont really get why he is so hot???? anyway….
Brianna Amen!!I also find Michael Douglas Hot!!!
What about Brad Pitt!!He looked amazing!!I loved his sleek hair!
Christian Bale can’t dress, but he’s lovely and charming in his own (weird) way.
The best outfit – the less boring – is RDJ’s.
Colin Firth is classy and charming even if he wears a trash bag.
what about James Franco?
Patison is the one I don’t get it. He looks retarded. And where is biber the most masculine lesbian in the whole universe?
I just loooove it when men wear tuxes, especially if they wear them as well as some of these guys do.
CF, RDjr, and The Hamm are my favorites in this mix, with a side order of Matt D, Ryan G and Jeremy I.
I’ll have some Perrier Jouët with it.
Thanks, Kaiser!
I agree that Christian Bale is behaving like a professional for a change. Maybe working with this bunch made an impression on him. When I saw him on Charlie Rose with the director and Mark Wahlberg, he was really intense, but still within the bounds of decent behavior. You could tell Charlie loved having him on as part of the group.
The other thing I wonder is whether he could be working so hard on this is because of a prior disappointment for the family and town. Apparently, a film crew came to town for a documentary on his character, the real Dickie, and it ended up a documentary on drugs in Lowell. It left the blue collar town looking badly, according to the locals. Bale spent time with the real family, including Dickie, and others in the town. He may have decided he didn’t want to disappoint them by behaving like an ass.
What about Andrew Garfield? He’s an up and comer in every way. Adorable.
Ah now, you forgot Jakey-poo!!
OMG!!! Johnny Depp….*sigh**drool*
He is looking so good and I love him with eyeliner!
Btw, loved him on David letterman….*sigh**drool*
Gosling makes my gay-dar go off.
JenJen: you might be right. I heard things about him and even more about Rachel Macadams Sapphic interests.
Yes Johnny Depp’s outfit was very sharp.
Too bad he couldn’t be bothered to run a comb through his hair and clean up that mess on his face.
He should take a page from Joe Levitt’s book-you could eat off of that face.
@jenjen: Ted C says Gosling is one of the few straight dudes in hwood, so if even Ted says he’s not gay..he’s so not gay
But my new crush is Gordon Joseph Levitt. He seems so nice, so sweet <3
@lrm. JGL might still be mourning the loss of his brother Dan who died in Oct 2010. They were extremely close. Oh and that red button on his jacket is a symbol of hitRECord.org – in case anyone was wondering.
signed
Totally obsessed with JGL 😀
@ Liana I’m with you. I’ve been a nin nut for 15 years and I am pretty disappointed in the way he’s progressed since marrying that chick too. It seems he’s dropped nin and taken up the how to destroy angels which would be ok if the music was good. But it sounds more like some nails nut trying to make music like nin. It’s a bummer.
I thought RDJ overreacted when Ricky made a joke about him. He didn’t need to say the whole show was ‘mean spirited’ GROW UP.
Mark Ruffalo is a hot piece.
normades: Are you so naive in believing a gossip columnist who works for some stars?
I know of Ted keeping some celebs in the closet and even writing fake BI as long as the source, regardless of whether it’s true or not, gives him stories.
What do you think is he doing with all the pimping of that Twilight “couple”?
I wouldn’t have known that was Trent Reznor unless you told me.
I think Bruce Willis looks a heck of a lot better for his age than Robert De Niro, whose face looks like an old shoe. Oh well.
Sigh – Robert Pattinson. Sweet man! (@a: Watch him in videos, he looks so much better and is very humble and sweet and sexy)
Johnny Depp: Ok, I like him, he does nice things, but the homeless over-tanned look is just kind of creepy now.
Christian Bale kind of scared me. I know he was trying to be nice and wasn’t trying to be fake at all, but it just was awkward to watch.
RDJ: What a sexy guy! He just handles himself so well.
I don’t think he over-reacted to Ricky G’s comments. I think he had great composure and was just relieving some tension by saying like ‘wtf?’ with class.
deniro is surprisingly (at least to me) inarticulate when speechifying off the cuff; hell, he even stumbles over prepared remarks.
but he’s still — and forever — got it.
and, michael douglas has made an amazing rebound considering what he looked like just a couple of short weeks ago. he looks fantastic and czj looked stunning. that dress was gorgeous — although peeps seemed to be a bit overdressed for the gg — shouldn’t that high fashion be reserved for the oscars.
I will always love Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails is definitely one of my favorite bands of all time.
And I think the weight gain is just from him working out so much. Now that he’s sober he needed a new hobby.
I just wish he’d let his beautiful hair grow out again. =(
I like RDJ but he acted like a baby about the “barbs” Ricky threw his way – weird because he is so open about his addictions/past.
And sorry but his “I had sex with all these women what?” presentation was totally unfunny. Half the time what he was saying didn’t even make any sense.
Oh I would never forget RDJ and he was so funny presenting he is my all time favorite!!!
I thought Brad Pitt looked hot (yep I know that will get flamed LOL).
Ryan Gosling- Yummy.
Johnny Depp scrubbed up well too.
Christian Bales speech last night was freakin terrible and embarrassing to watch. I think he was drunk off his ass. And I hate his Jesus look, is it for a new movie? Maybe a western?
RDJ was awesome, I loved his intro, such a funny man and a class act. I would love to see him host an awards show.
Colin Firth- such a sweet man, just lovely. His wife looks like a prettier, softer version of George Clooneys piece I thought. Noticed that at the E after party thing anyway.
JGL- adorable.
I thought DeNiro was funny. He was obviously reading it off a prompter, but whatever. *shrug*
The rest- meh/fug.
You are NOT alone in your Chris Evans lust, oh nooooooo.
LOL. No one came close to looking better than Robert Pattinson last night. It’s just a fact.
Chris Evans is HOT!
Matt Damon looks like he’s related to DeNiro in that pic
Aw, I was just thinking about JGL. Hope he’ll be alright. He does kinda have that “I am really trying to enjoy the night even though I really want to cry” look. Love him!
I think I’ll go watch some 3rd Rock From the Sun.
What about Idris Elba? He’s amazing!
Wait, who’s JGL?
The only thing I wanted out of this award show was for Ryan Gosling to not bring Blake. I walk away a winner…
Never apologize for Trent Reznor. I’ve wanted that man to bend me over his knee and say dirty, dirty things to me since I was 11 years old. I don’t even care how creepy that sounds.
LOVE LOVE LOVE TRENT!!! And he was JUST DELICIOUS last night!
But Kaiser, how could you put in Chris Evans and leave out that YUMMEDY YUMMNESS CHRIS HEMSWORTH?!?! He made Evans look like a budget can of dog chow when they stood next to each other presenting…
Just sayin! 😉
Love me some Trent Reznor, was so happy that he won. I am so with you when it comes to the Chris Evans love, I even saw the horrible Fantastic Four movies just for him and I hate Jessica Alba.
I also think that Chris Evans is hot, just not as hot as he used to be.
I SO love Joseph Gordon Levitt. He is such a cutie.
Robert Downey Jr. looks incredible…and I’d never seen his wife before, but she is equally beautiful, so why is she dressed so drab? Did she not want to outshine her husband?
Gosling .. I might die he’s so hot.
Ahhh. Thanks for Jeremy Irons. He exudes class, AND no nips and tucks to be seen. Love some character in a man’s face.
Otherwise kind of meh list for me, hot guy-wise. Pattinson does clean up nicely, I love love love the shorter hair, red or not.
THAT’s Trent Reznor? Wow!
Johnny Depp? Very talented, but I just don’t get it.
Thanks for the early Dongfest!
rdj looked great in that gray suit. sighs, I love almost all the man in this post LOL
Your article made me understand some things.