Yesterday, The New York Times published a “Field Notes” piece all about how balding men are horrible people, because they don’t have hair. Well… it’s not that bad, but it’s still one of the dumbest “trend” pieces I’ve ever read in the NYT. The crux of this chick writer’s essay is that men losing their hair will do dumb stuff to increase their own sense of manliness, like propose to women. The example used is Prince William, who apparently only proposed to Kate Middleton because of his hair loss. This might even be worse than Rogaine attempting to contact William via the tabloids. The full NYT piece is here, and here are the basics:

OF all the details surrounding Prince William’s April marriage to his longtime girlfriend, Kate Middleton, few seem to have garnered as much attention as his rapidly receding hairline.

“You Can Leave Your Hat On” and “No Hair to the Throne” are among the many headlines that have appeared in the British tabloids. Which poses a question: Is it possible that the 28-year-old prince felt an urge to lock up a commitment from Ms. Middleton because his heart-throb status might be beginning to disappear with the hair? If so, what must the rest of the not-so-princely men in the world feel when youthful looks begin to fade?

In the past, only women were perceived to have a marital sell-by date. But thanks to a convergence of social and economic trends, some men feel the same pressures.

“The clock ticks for both men and women,” said W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.

Michael Kimmel, a sociologist, said one contributing factor is the increasing economic independence of women. Mr. Kimmel, a professor at the State University of New York, Stony Brook, cited a 1930s study by Willard Waller that evaluated how women and men assessed each other’s sexual marketability based on criteria including physical appearance, social skills and financial stability. A woman of that era valued a man’s earning capacity above good looks and other traits. But now, Mr. Kimmel said, “women are able to provide for a family, so they are more able to focus as well on physical features.”

Also, men have become more concerned with body image, meaning that they are more likely to measure themselves against culturally perceived standards of attractiveness, according to Ashley Mears, a sociologist. She traces the trend to the 1980s with more advertisements and magazines geared toward men.

In other words, those Propecia and Rogaine ads can wear on the psyche.

Men may give themselves some leeway when it comes to putting on a few extra pounds and having wrinkles (two typical areas of concern among aging women hoping to attract a mate). But hair loss — both androgenic alopecia, often referred to as male-pattern baldness, and alopecia areata, which typically involves temporary and localized shedding — can be emotionally traumatic, especially for men in their 20s. In fact, the American Academy of Dermatology estimates 80 million men and women in the United States suffer from hereditary thinning or baldness.

Although Ms. Middleton and most other women aren’t likely to admit having an aversion to balding men, Susan Jones, an executive at an accounting firm in Manhattan, said many of her female friends in their late 30s and 40s are alone, in part, because their “impossibly high” criteria for men have little to do with what it takes to be a good husband. “They want to date these good-looking men, but really, that’s not going to get you very far in a marriage,” said Ms. Jones, who pointed out that she has been happily married to Richard Jones, who is bald, for 13 years.

“I think we are very well matched,” said Mr. Jones, an associate professor of accounting at Hofstra.

Dr. Neil Sadick, a dermatologist in New York who is balding, said, “There is more acceptance for balding.” For proof, one need only look to athletes like Michael Jordan and Mark Messier and movie stars like Bruce Willis and Jason Statham who are popularizing the shaved head.

Lauren Dalrymple, 35, believes that hair loss “is more of an issue for men than it is for women.” And so later this year she plans to marry 40-year-old John Christel, whose hair began thinning in his 20s.

The rise of the post-industrial workplace in which men (and women) are more likely to engage in face-to-face interactions has influenced men’s self-image as well as their appearance, said Kathleen Gerson, a professor at New York University and author of “The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work and Family.”

“Now, how we look matters,” she said.

Of course there are plenty of bald and balding men living happily ever after. For starters, men, like women, are marrying later in life, according to Census data. And although women rank physical features higher on their future-husband wish lists, they also care about personality, said Mr. Wilcox of the National Marriage Project. “The good news is that women are even more attentive to a man’s capacity to be a good friend or be emotionally engaged,” he said.

Lucky for Prince William, Ms. Middleton doesn’t seem bothered by what adorns his head — now or later.

[From The New York Times]

Ugh. Of all of the potential problems between Kate Middleton and Prince William, Will’s hair loss is very far down the list, right behind “Kate is too lazy to do any charity work” and “William has some kind of weird Oedipus thing happening with his father.” Oh, and “William and Kate must take their mandatory 13 vacations a year.” Now, do I think William’s hair loss bothers him? Sure. A few years ago, in a dual interview between Princes Harry and William, when Harry made a crack about Willliam’s hairline, William’s raging, touchy bitch came out. So it obviously bothers him – but does it bother him enough that it’s a major factor in why he proposed? No.

Now, I get that men are much more concerned with their baldness than women will ever be. But I just hate the idea that such a silly, narrow concern is “the reason” why any man – much less a prince – would propose. Does that make me naïve?

Photos courtesy of WENN.