Jessica Simpson praises Jesus for Eric Johnson’s sweet “tush”

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Jessica Simpson’s Twitter-gushing about Eric Johnson is nothing new. It seems like once a month, Jessica tweets a photo of Eric with some kind of dumbass comment about how happy she is to be with a “Yalie” K-Fed or to simply declare that she “has a major crush” on him. Now Jessica has gotten on Twitter to thank her Lord (Lord Nachos, Bourbon Christ, Jesus H. Oreo) for Eric’s sweet ass. Literally, she’s thanking God for Eric’s “tush”. Girl, get it together. We know you’re happy and we’re happy for you too. But enough. He’s a K-Fed and he’s going to divorce you and take your money and it’s going to be a mess. Enough with the cyber-gushing.

Eric Johnson is in Jessica Simpson’s bedtime prayers – or at least part of him.

“Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Man that has the perfect Tush,” Simpson Tweeted on Saturday night. “Laying my hands upon it with peace :)”

Simpson, 30, has been gushing on Twitter about her fiancé since they met last spring, posting a picture of a steamy kiss they shared in August, saying, “YUM!” and later calling him a stud.

It’s the not the first time the Push Your Tush singer has rhapsodized about a man’s backside. Even after breaking up with NFL quarterback Tony Romo, she said, “I still look at his cute butt in the outfit – uniform.”

[From People]

Do you like how she capitalized “Tush”? Like it’s a formal noun. Like God. Or Dong. She really is praising it. She should start a church for Golddigging K-Feds with cute butts. Natalie Portman’s fiancé could join!

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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33 Responses to “Jessica Simpson praises Jesus for Eric Johnson’s sweet “tush””

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  1. Liana says:

    bless her dopey little heart.

    I’m just realizing how much he looks like the young Tad Martin from “All My Children” or whatever that soap was.

  2. gee says:

    Liana, A+ first comment.

  3. Trillion says:

    Hey, is that black bag made by Louis Vuitton? I couldn’t tell.

  4. Matt says:

    Making fun of her is too easy. Her K Fed is cute though.

  5. Diane says:

    Pull yourself together girl!

  6. elizabeth says:

    i just keep hoping that the sweet dopey little thing will be happy – but i have my doubts about her “selection process” – jessica, jessica, jessica

  7. brin says:

    Since it’s clear Jess will never learn and doesn’t embarass easily, let her gush about the tush and let the pork rinds fall where they may.

  8. Jayna says:

    Poor Jessica. Just when I have hope for her. She and Brit Brit are just not-so-bright country girls. The only difference is after the K-Fed fiasco and then her meltdown because of mental problems, Brit’s team has a muzzle on her, so she doesn’t make idiotic tweets now at 30.

  9. Jo says:

    He is repulsive looking in that first picture. Like a freaking frog or something that crawled out from under a slimy rock. And why can’t the man even tuck his shirt in and dress halfway decent? Oh wait – he’s with Messy Jessy and she NEVER looks good. They both look like poor white trailer park trashy messes. Yuk.

  10. Rita says:

    Is it true that there’s a twitter picture of Jess “motorboating” his Tush?

  11. lilred says:

    @ Trillion: It’s really hard to tell from these pics.L0l.

  12. guesty says:

    Someone needs to interview him…like E! or Extra or ET. Her continual gushing about him is just her spin on the relationship. Same words different guy.

    And imo…bet she cheats on him just like she did with Nick. This girl is insufferable.

  13. jham says:

    food stains on his shirt in the first picture says it all–trashy

  14. Jack Ketch says:

    Is she 13 or 30 ?? God, what a child.

  15. Rachael says:

    Kaiser, email me. We have a private “Dong with a capital D” group on fb. We’d like to make you an honorary member. Amen.

  16. Should be working says:

    He does look like Tad! LOL I wish I had a boyfriend to tweet-gush about, so I won’t hate JS for this. (out loud)

  17. Tomas says:

    every time she opens her mouth we are reminded of what an uneducated, high school drop out she is….

  18. liz says:

    This woman is so mind-numbingly stupid.

  19. Muffy says:

    It is so hard to believe she is a millionaire. They do look like trailer trash just leaving a Hooters. Meh!

  20. Rio says:

    Dear Lord, she looks SO DRUNK. Every single picture of her– no matter where she it– makes her look like she’s crawling out of a bar.

  21. Riley says:

    Don’t give LeAnn any ideas for new tweets, Jess.

  22. SexyBrownGirl says:

    @ Thomas Ikr…She is so dumb its almost unbelievable!!!

  23. Confuzzle says:

    He is gay.

  24. I Choose Me says:

    @Rita. Dear lord the mental image. I’m laughing but I also wish I could un-imagine that. Tell me you’re joking about this rumour.

    Edit: Jesus H. Oreo. Bwahahaha. I am so stealing that. 😀

  25. Zelda says:

    Using the word “tush” and women talking about men’s @sses in general?
    That’s so 80’s.

    Lips, voice, chest, c*ck, muscles: these are the things heterosexual, mature women talk about and are aroused by.
    Only men talk about asses. And women who don’t know the first thing about doing sex but want to seem like they do. And women over the age of 50.

    (not that I don’t think a nice ass is nice, but…I dunno—anyone else know what I’m sayin?)

  26. April says:

    She’s trying to take the attention off hers. Poor woman really does need some therapy – and I’m not talking retail!

  27. JenJen says:

    What a nice girl, she prays to God about getting laid.

  28. CB Rawks says:

    “Do you like how she capitalized “Tush”? Like it’s a formal noun. Like God. Or Dong. She really is praising it.”

    I allcaps my tush.
    BAM! TUSH!

  29. CB Rawks says:

    Zelda, be real. We can all admit here that penises are ugly. I mean they are. They might be worth existing, sure they have practical uses, but they is UGLY.
    😀

  30. Nimrod says:

    She should thank God that there was a man ignorant enough to have any interest in her. Having seen some of her old shows I’m guessing that she probably is more interested in what comes out of his azz.

  31. loveyourwork says:

    “BAM! TUSH!”

    THANK YOU!!! I literally choked on my oreo while reading that 😉

  32. Richi says:

    LOL Kaiser! you are too good!!

  33. Zelda says:

    @Rawks:

    I like penises*

    *working title of the Zelda autobiography