I remember one of the first things I learned in philosophy class was how to write guarded statements in papers so it was harder to argue with your idea. Making sure not to make definitive statements, and using rejoinders like “often”, etc. I found this annoying as hell because as a result you never actually said anything or stood for anything. But celebs – and anyone who is quoted a lot – could learn a lot from the guarded statement idea.

Say your dad is Ozzy Osbourne. And you give a nice long interview, and at one point say, “My dad is not an idiot.” That would have been a great time to preface it with, “generally,” or “for the most part,” or even “with the exception of when he’s on a lot of drugs.” Because when your dad is Ozzy Osbourne, making such a definitive statement is really asking for people to argue with you, and hunt around YouTube for a few minutes to prove exactly why you dad IS an idiot.

Jack Osbourne wants to set the record straight about his famous father. And that means taking a few swipes at the MTV reality show that put his family back on the map. “I think The Osbournes, to a degree, tarnished the public’s perception of my dad as a bit of a senile, funny, bumbling guy,” Jack tells Rolling Stone magazine. “Yeah, my dad can be that guy, but it’s not [all of] him.” Now Jack is trying to rejuvenate his dad’s rocker legacy. He has recruited his own pals and his dad’s former bandmates to contribute to a documentary he began shooting in January.

The result, he told the music mag, will be a kind of filmic memoir. The Black Sabbath frontman is dyslexic and “refused to do a book,” Jack adds. “So this is more like a talking book, a really thorough autobiography.” And despite their close family bonds, Jack insists the film won’t be a puff piece.

“My dad’s not an idiot – he’s nothing short of a genius, in my opinion,” he explains. “He does have huge flaws, and we’re trying to really paint an honest picture of that.”

[From People]

To Jack’s credit he did point out that Ozzy can be bumbling. But he really shouldn’t have allowed so much as a two second pause to breathe between that and the [but] “he’s not an idiot,” quotation. In fact just to be safe, I’d say something like, “For the most part, generally, he’s more often than not not a complete idiot most of the time.” Yeah it’s a grammarian’s worst nightmare. But it’s really, really safe. I kid of course.

Jack’s documentary sounds like it could be pretty interesting. While both he and sister Kelly spent some of their most struggle-filled, least-attractive years on television (everyone goes through that stuff at their age, they just did it on MTV), they both seem to be slowly growing into reasonably healthy adults. Jack in particular. It’ll be interesting to see what perspective he brings to his “talking book,” and see to what extent Ozzy’s problems were exacerbated by being over medicated by his doctor like the family has long claimed.

Here’s Jack and Ozzy this past Halloween. Images thanks to Fame.