Just how superficial am I? I will literally write about what this crackhead wears to court. Like, I can fill a whole post with musings on court wear. Let me state at the beginning that I am a strong believer in dressing appropriately for the occasion, and I also believe that there are some tried-and-true style rules that no one should break or bend. When you are going into court, whether it’s as a defendant or a witness or a jury member or you’re just supporting some crackhead family member, there are rules for how you should dress. (Sidenote: the rules for dressing for court are the same as dressing for a formal appearance before Congress or any kind of legislative body as well.) First of all, cover up. Your tittays should not be on display in any way, shape or form. If you’re going to wear a skirt, no minis. The highest you should go is an inch or two above the knee, but knee-length is preferred. Pants are acceptable, but no jeans and no wrinkled chinos. Heels, flats, and boots are no problem, just don’t go for sandals. I don’t care if it’s hot out, do not expose your toes. I also believe that sleeveless is unacceptable for court. As far as hair and makeup goes – it should be professional and business-like. No dark eye shadow, no bright lipstick, no punked-out hair. I personally don’t like ponytails for court, because it’s just as easy to do a simple bun, which looks much more professional. Keep everything clean, simple and conservative.

So… following my rules of dress, how did Lindsay do? This look is somewhat conservative for Lindsay, which is to say, still pretty tacky. The Chanel pants are fine… my biggest problem is that they look really cheap (that‘s just Lindsay, she does that to clothes), but they’re pants, they’re not wrinkled, and they fit. Of course, there’s a photo of Lindsay from behind, and you can see full butt crack – I don’t even think she’s wearing a thong or a g-string. Crackhead is going commando to court. FAIL.

As for the top… I think it’s a Chanel tank top with a sheer-ish cardigan, with a hand-knotted closure. Too much cleavage for court, in my opinion, and the sheer-ness of the cardigan makes it more of an evening look. Not ghastly, but not really good either.

According to TMZ, Lindsay was really upset about the outcry from her last court dress – the white minidress – and Lindsay “was deciding between a handful of outfits — and ultimately picked the one she thought was the most reserved … a low-cut black and white pant suit thing.”

Here’s my last question: why is Lindsay wearing Chanel to court? Shouldn’t this broke crackhead be wearing hand-me-down Ann Taylor or something?

Photos courtesy of WENN.