The Enquirer suggests that Lindsay Lohan and Desperate Housewives gardener Jesse Metcalfe are an item after they were seen partying together.

Just like Keira Knightly and Jake Gyllenhaal, this isn’t happening, but it’s amusing to see in print. Lindsay partied with Perez Hilton too, but that doesn’t mean she got a piece of him. We bet Metcalfe’s publicist tipped the Enquirer off to this latest piece of insignificant gossip.