You can watch a segment from Camille’s CNN gig here. I can’t embed it.

I’m finally getting the chance to watch some of the stuff I DVRed this weekend, including the Independent Spirit Awards, where host Joel McHale killed it with bawdy jokes and impeccable delivery. The Spirit Awards were so much more watchable than the Oscars and seeing them really brings the point home that the Oscars sucked. It’s Wednesday though and I’m over it. This must be how sports fans feel when their team bombs in the playoffs.

The night of the Oscars I alternated between E! and the TV Guide channel to get my red carpet coverage. On another TV I taped CNN’s coverage just to see if they would get any obnoxious quotes or obvious flubs from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills personality Camille Grammer. This morning I watched it with my finger on fast forward. Camille did ok and it seems like they set it up so she couldn’t say much. They had her on in quick segments that just required minimal fashion coverage or statements about things they’d obviously briefed her on ahead of time. There was one woman on the red carpet interviewing celebrities, Brooke Anderson, another woman monitoring Twitter and social networking stuff, Kareen Wynter, and CNN Showbiz Tonight host A.J. Hammer offered commentary from a platform above the red carpet. Camille was supposedly with A.J. most of the time but she was off to the side until about 20 minutes in and they only showed her occasionally.

In the 50 minutes I got on tape Camille spoke four times in brief segments. When Camille wasn’t talking and was just shown on camera she preened and did that mouth pout/cheek suck thing. They also had commentary from actress Sheryl Lee Ralph (I recognized her, but barely) and radio host Carlos Diaz.

Here’s basically all of what Camille said. Kelly Osbourne did a much better job on E!

Talked about the weather with A.J. Hammer
“Yesterday we had hail here, but today is a perfect night.”

On Jennifer Lawrence’s dress
“She looked stunning in her red Calvin Klein gown. I have heard that her publicist said, or her stylist said ‘Nipples are in this season,’ so let Showbiz Tonight be the first ones to say that, nipples are in! [laughs] At 20 years old, you can get away with it.”

On Hailee Steinfeld
“At 14 years old her dress was absolutely perfect. She wore Marchesa. Perfect princess gown. It just looked beautiful on her.”

Michelle Williams
“I loved Michelle Williams’ gown head to almost toe, but the shoes looked like something she bought from Payless. I’m sorry, but the gown was perfect.”

On Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting
“I think they’re going to be absolutely fantastic. James Franco, what can we say? Hot, hot, hot. Going for a PhD? Perfect.”

A.J. Hammer asked Camille if Franco was her type
“Yes, but a little older.” [Read: richer]

When asked if Kelsey would always have a speech prepared
“No, he would always wing it, he never prepared a speech which is amazing, that’s a talent. He knew how to wing it, he was really good at that, quite a gift.”

On Helena Bonham Carter’s outfit
“Well, I think she was [a disaster]. It just looked like Edward Scissorhands got a hold of her dress. I’m not a fan.”

On Scarlett Johansson’s dress
“I think she’s a beautiful beautiful young lady, but I’m not a fan of the dress.”

On Sharon Stone’s look
“She’s doing the ‘Black Swan’ tonight… a little too much Cruella De Ville.”

Nicole Kidman
A.J. asked “Should she have stayed in the rabbit hole?”
“You said it. It was fine, but I wasn’t impressed… I was disappointed.”

Oh Camille, all you have to offer is garden variety cattiness. CNN announced this hosting gig with much fanfare, and then tried to complain about the “haters” in order to squeeze some more publicity out of it. CNN is going to have to come up with some better tactics to spice up their entertainment coverage. They should go for more sensational coverage instead of trying to import it in the form of watered down reality show villains.