But I thought Mel Gibson didn’t touch her and if he did touch her it was only because she’s a crazy golddigging whore who should be rightfully buried in the rose garden, which makes whatever Mel did or DID NOT do completely justified?!? Wow, my mind is blown. Mel Gibson has just accepted a plea deal on that whole “punching Oksana Grigorieva in the face” thing. The plea involves no jail time. Nuts!

Mel Gibson has struck an agreement with prosecutors and has made a plea deal in his looming criminal case … sources connected with the L.A. County District Attorney tell TMZ … and Mel will not get jail time.

Our sources say Mel will appear in court Friday and will plead no contest to simple battery — a lesser charge than corporal injury on a spouse.

As we first reported, Mel had been agonizing over the impending criminal charge — related to the January 6, 2010 blowout with Oksana Grigorieva — worried that a prolonged court fight would be a strain on his family, particularly his children. We’re told … even though Mel believed he could win the case — he struck the deal to protect his loved ones.

We’re told the deal involves counseling but NO JAIL TIME.

When contacted for a response, Mel’s lawyer, Blair Berk, released the following statement to TMZ: “I know from almost 20 years as a criminal defense lawyer that sometimes justice can come for a client at too high a personal price. That is particularly so for Mel, whose right to due process can only be exercised in this case with an enormous media circus attached.”

Berk goes on, “Mel’s priority throughout all of this has been that the best interests of his young daughter Lucia and the rest of his children be put first in any decisions made. It is with only that in mind that he asked me to approach the District Attorney with a proposal that would bring all of this to an immediate end.”

[From TMZ]

You know what? I like TMZ sometimes because they get good scoops and they often offer a particular kind of gritty perspective into the raw slanted stories pushed by a celebrity’s publicity team (see also: Halle Berry, Lindsay Lohan), but for the love of GOD, I really wish they would STOP sucking Mel Gibson’s dick. I know Mel needs his dick sucked all of the time, and if he doesn’t get it done, he gets really, really upset and starts smacking babies, women and trees, but does TMZ’s analysis of the plea deal have to include details like “Mel had been agonizing over the impending criminal charge…worried that a prolonged court fight would be a strain on his family, particularly his children. We’re told … even though Mel believed he could win the case — he struck the deal to protect his loved ones”? For TMZ, Mel = Jesus on the cross.

By the way, did anyone else read Vanity Fair’s article about Mel in the March “Hollywood Issue”? There are a bunch of really petty jabs at Oksana in that piece too, all said by Gibson loyalists. It’s worth a read, just so you can see Mel’s dwindling support in Hollywood, and how they defend him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.