These are some photos of Renee Zellweger from last year, and I’ll explain in a moment why I’m using them. First, in the wake of Renee’s split with Bradley Cooper, and the particular timing of the announcement (within days of tabloid reports of his wandering dong), Renee’s publicity team decided to avoid playing the pity party card. Thank God! Instead, both Page Six and Us Weekly have suspiciously friendly Renee stories, both enforcing the idea that post-split Renee is doing just fine, thank you very much. First, Page Six notes that Renee attended last night’s Broadway opening of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. According to witnesses, Renee was in good spirits, laughing and clapping through the show. She even told Page Six, “The show is fabulous, I am really having a good time.”

Then Us Weekly published their Renee-friendly story, this one more obviously a publicist’s plant. What’s funny about this is not how obvious the press machine is, but the gleeful cognitive dissonance Us Weekly employed. I swear, Us Weekly used one of the funniest photos of Renee for this story – she looks absolutely deranged and horrible (you can see the photo here). So, that’s why I’m using bad photos for this post. For fun.

Looking good is the best revenge — just ask Renee Zellweger. Days after splitting with her boyfriend of nearly two years, Bradley Cooper, the 41-year-old actress put her best foot forward when she attended a pal’s low-key birthday bash at NYC’s La Esquina restaurant Saturday.

“She wore a skin-tight black dress and amazing lace-up shoes,” an eyewitness tells UsMagazine.com. “She looked smokin’ hot.”

And people certainly noticed. “At one point, three waiters came up to see if the table needed anything because they wanted to check out Renee.”

Though Us broke the news of her split just one day earlier, the Oscar-winning actress showed no signs of heartbreak during the outing. (She and Cooper, 36, began dating in July 2009 after meeting on the set of the thriller Case 39 four years earlier).

“She tried to make it work, but in the end it was too hard,” a Zellweger insider told Us. “Her friends feel bad it ended, but she’s okay.”

[From Us Weekly]

Really, Mr. Publicist? Three waiters came over to check out Renee? Ugh. Don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate how Renee is playing this. She’s coming across like she’s fine and she will continue to be fine. Of course, now I’m wondering why she isn’t more broken up over this split – she and Bradley were together for years, and they lived together, for God’s sake. She doesn’t have to trot out all “fine” right away.

My mother – who doesn’t usually go for the “everybody is secretly gay” theory of Hollywood – actually said to me that she thinks both Bradley and Renee are gay. I was surprised that even she thinks that.

Photos courtesy of WENN.