As we all know by now, Scarlett Johansson is in a dong haze with Sean Penn. She’s enamored by his toupee, she’s enchanted by his chain smoking, she giggles over his douchery. Their romance has been documented by every outlet, and random reports about their outings are now commonplace. But this one, from the Enquirer’s gossip column by Mike Walker, is especially gross. Apparently, ScarJo and Sean went to eat at Madeo, and they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Literally, eyewitnesses described ScarJo and Sean as “groping” each other. Ugh. I just flashed on a mental image of Sean’s smoky, crusty balls. *shiver*
Getting more action in restaurants than many do in bedrooms, SEAN PENN and SCARLETT JOHANSSON are Hollywood’s Hottest Couple after kicking off a sizzling May-December romance that began when ScarJo, 26, was photographed putting her best foot forward – and into Sean’s 50-year-old lap – during a sexy LA lunch…then my spies spotted them canoodling relentlessly over dinner at swanky Madeo!
Even though two pals were with them, the steamy duo groped, smooched and stroked – but when the meal ended, Sean suddenly wanted to change tables for dessert.
Why? Said My SpyWitness: “They were at the best table in the house, but it’s smack in the center, and Sean was annoyed by lookey-loo diners sneaking peeks. There wasn’t an empty table to be had – but Sean sent a hostess to tell three girls in a corner booth that if they’d switch tables, he’d pay for dinner.”
Giggling, the girls agreed! They trooped to Sean’s table as his party scrunched into the booth, which was a tight fit – but it didn’t cramp the lovers’ style.
“Sean and Scarlett kissed and petted like their pals weren’t even there,” said my source. “When the evening ended and the lovebirds exited, a waiter handed the three girls a check holder – but there was no bill inside; just a note from Sean that read: ‘Thank you!’”
[From The National Enquirer]
So, ScarJo is definitely in a dong haze, that much is for sure. But is Sean also in a ScarJo-biscuit haze? I think he might be. To a point. I think he’s loving every minute of having this young, nubile starlet clinging to his every word, thought and action. But for Sean, every day brings a new Cinco de Mayo party in his pants. He’s going to continue to screw around with randoms, and ScarJo will either have to deal with the fact that this really isn’t a serious relationship, or she’ll try to make him “settle”. Or, hidden option 3: ScarJo knows this isn’t serious, and she’s fine with him screwing around, and she’s screwing around too.
By the way, that’s Sean and Robin’s son Hopper in the photo.
Photos courtesy of Fame.
Oh god can we officially change her name to Scarlett “Daddy Issues” Johansson?
Ewww. I will say though, this twosome is turning out to be more entertaining than most scripted entertainment.
I would do him in a heart beat!
Damn, his son looks just like him.
The were seated at the CENTER of the restaurant and then got upset because of the lookey loos? Gimme a break. How about waiting til you get home to grope each other?
Asses, both of them.
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
No.
they should make a sex tape and leak it.
sooooo hotttttttttttt.
ill be morbidly turned on like mad but will vomit in my mouth, at the same time. wats wrong wih me? ew.
i betcha her ex Ryan is scratching his head on this one, and breathing a sigh of relief he’s free
She’s so gross!!!!
yes she’s symetric in the face, but she’s groping penn, that’s nasty!!!
I lost all respect for her.
Just how slutty is she? Is that how she gets her parts since her acting is getting more and more shallow?
His son looks unfortunate in the face
These two keep getting grosser.
And hey, Einstein — if you don’t want people looking at your make out session, how about getting a room & not doing it in a restaurant? Jay-Sus!
His nose looks like a dong… She probably gets dongmatized just staring at his mug…
When are he and Charlie Sheen going to Haiti? Wasn’t that the plan?
There is something about this couple that just kind of nauseates me. Poor Hopper – an very unfortunate genetic combination.
“But for Sean, every day brings a new Cinco de Mayo party in his pants”
-Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Relli – Exactly! Im sure her parents are so proud along with his children! What a couple of morons. Lets face it – she cant act. She was hired by Woody Allen for her looks & got lucky from there. He can act – ill give him that.
He will dump her and move on soon. She is his flavor of the month. BUt shell claim oh we were just having fun and im not sad when she will be devastated daddy left her.
If he didnt want to be seen in public why go to very public restaurant??
He claims to hate paparazzi but he would die if they didnt follow him HENCE why he went to public restaurant he knew he would be seen at!
Scarlett is a disgusting slutty PIG that is all!!!
He is hot…his son…not so much.
I kind of see the attraction, he must be really good in bed and he makes her laugh. I bet he has all kinds of stories to tell her. The problem will be when he tries to control her like he tried with both his ex wives Madonna and Robin. The man has a very bad temper. Scarlet is just having fun while it lasts.
that’s her jump off? okaaay!!!
I could have done without having the thought of Sean Penn’s crusty old balls in my head. Scarjo is such a dumbshit- you know Sean Penn smells like someone who lives under a bridge.
She always has skeeved me out… she just seems pretty skanky. I really respect Sean Penn for his acting and had hoped he and Robin would work things out.
This pairing REALLY creeps me out! She was born two years AFTER he ordered a pizza in Mr. Hand’s class. That is just gross. He is almost DOUBLE her age. Enjoy it (YUCK!) while you can, honey. It’ll be over soon enough. You are just another notch who will be the one left devastated – I guarantee it. She’ll play it off, like they were just having a good time, but she is falling for him – I’ll bet a paycheck on it! If she thought Ryan was controlling….
“But for Sean, every day brings a new Cinco de Mayo party in his pants.” <– You ain’t right, Kaiser, and you know it. I almost spit up Coke Zero at work.
ScarJo looks a lot like Sean’s ex Madonna when she was young, even her body is similar (both of them are short). Must be Sean’s type!
She’s gorgeous but clearly dumb as a box of hair, but tries to compensate for her lack of brain matter by coming across all meaningful and intellectual and chain-smoking. So I’m sure that’s why she’s dong-struck by SP – he may be an arrogant douche but he’s a great actor and aspiring third world leader. Ick, I just had this horrible visual of him rubbing his dirty hands together in glee before jumping on her….must bleach brain!
I don’t hate on Scarlett because she’s a whore. In fact, I admire it. But why she would chose to give her vagina ambrosia to a smelly old man like that is beyond me. You could be boning Gerald Butler right now, Scar Jo. FOCUS.
I think it’s funny, and I also think it’s kinda hot. Sth tells me it’s an option nr 3. Moreover I think she’ll be winning, leaving him when she gets bored…
They are just having some good time. They don’t care how it looks like. And I’ll root for the pure passion taking over any time :). Our “eews” will clearly not bother them 😉
When I think “disgusting couple I secretly want to see having sex” I think Angelina and Billy Bob, not these two. These are the people I think of when I want to ensure that I personally don’t want to have sex. Or dinner. Or breakfast. Or, you know, any food at all.
They’re just that unappealing.
He may have an incredible personality or delicious dong, LOL. He was married to Madonna after all. Sean is not my type but I say hit it and quit it Scarjo!
it’s so ugh.
I like these two together. I wouldn’t turn him down either.
We all know what she is! They say they
hate the media, yea, right.
Who is using who? Please enlighten me,
I just don’t understand it.
She wants to come across as an intellectual person, spokes-woman for
a charitable organization, brother works for Obama, she supports several charities and then she acts like she does. How dumb can you be?
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck all round. *shudder*
say what u may but d guy IS hot!
@jane16, you are so right, hahaha
Option 3.
He’s 50; She’s 26.
He’s been divorced twice; been to jail; been to rehab; had 2 children. She’s only just split up with her first big love.
This relationship is right-now and just-for-sex. I think both sides know it. At the very least, Scarlett knows subconsciously this could never last. Sean has too much baggage and too much life. It’s interesting… A learning experience… but it’s not something to last forever.
She’s gross! I don’t know how she can be attracted to that guy! Yuck.
He isn’t gross and she isn’t stupid…the man is probably amazingggggggggggggg in bed…Go Ms S.
I have to disagree with those who think he must be good in bed. In fact, I think it’s the opposite! Most self-important douches, that like ’em young and try to control their women, are usually lacking in the dick department and leave a lot to be desired in the bedroom.
Full stop. Let’s talk about Hopper for a minute. Can you imagine how utterly awkward and embarrassing it must be to watch your dad score with a woman who could be your sister? Or, even more awkward, having to watch your dad score with a woman who is possibly younger and hotter than you yourself are currently hooking up with? Ugh, poor kid. That has to be all kinds of uncomfortable.
That reminds me, I just watched “Giant” for the first time since I was a kid last night. It’s a really great movie. Btw, stop reading this right now if you don’t want any spoilers!
In honor of dearly departed screen legend Liz Taylor, I decided to get drunk and watch one of her movies last night. Giant is up on Netflix instant queue along with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. But, I went with Giant.
Now, I admit, I was many many beers and many “Isn’t she beautiful?”, “Bick what’s his name – Rock Hudson – is a dick.”, “Jett what’s his name – James Dean – is a dick.”, “Rock Hudson’s sister is a dick too.”, “Why did Rock Hudson have to be gay?”, “WHAT?!? Wikipedia says James Dean was gay too?!?! Damn, now I’ll never be able to invent a time machine and have sex with either of these men. Fantasy shattered! *large eye roll from my boyfriend*”, “Do you think Rock and James had crazy trailer sex on set? *even larger eye roll from my boyfriend*” and “WHO’S THAT GUY?!?” comments in by the time the movie got near the three hour mark. So, forgive me if my memory isn’t entirely on point here.
Anyway, I can’t help but think of James Dean’s crazy drunk speech at the end of the movie where he basically admits he’s always been obsessed with Liz Taylor and, despite the fact that he’s screwing her daughter, still wishes he was playing with white diamonds instead.
When I saw that poor girl’s face when she overhears that by the door, I felt so bad for her. I mean, there are few things more mortifying than finding out your boyfriend would rather bang your mom than you. But, I would imagine Hopper Penn knows all about that particular brand of embarrassment. Ugh, seriously, poor guy.
SO wrong! Just ICK!!!
“She was born two years AFTER he ordered a pizza in Mr. Hand’s class.”
Thank you for putting that into perspective. I will now go put on my Granny Pants and sulk. LOL
I’ve hung out with him…NOT hot! Trust me.
Meh this is just a Screw Relationship and I think eventually Scarjo and Penn will just stop when the heat is gone or when everybody stops watching!
My sister and I have an expression for guys we used to date that we felt were sooo hot at the time, but looking back, were really, truly not. We call them “Yucks”. As in, ” Remember that buff guy from Jersey you dated for two months? The one that used to comb and gel his chest hair? What a Yuck!”
I have a feeling ScarJo is going to look back on this affair and classify Sean Penn as a most definite Yuck.
Eww.
Lol at the ‘slutty’ comments.
What decade is this, you envious moocows? Stop slinging shit at a woman because she’s getting some and doesn’t care who knows! Is Sean Penn a slut? Have YOU never passed it around??
Jesus, relax. Some people like sex and aren’t ashamed to go after it. Hating on that is like hating on birds for flying.
i like the idea. if she like it, why not!
after Sean Penn, she can move on to another hot dongs.
shes single and enjoying to get filthy.
@DetRiotgirl: Oh my lord, you just made my evening. I was laughing so hard I was in tears. Thank God the hubby wasn’t here when that happened because I would have got the same reaction your boyfriend gave you because I’ve got a huge thing for James Dean as well. Ah, fantasy shattered, but oh well. One can still dream, right? 😉
On subject: Sorry, but that’s just yucky.
He is a used up douche> I wonder if he talks to her about his ideals. About how he is good friends with Chavez and Fidel Castro. He is an insane douche. She cannot be that vapid. Can she?
They’re both chain smokers.
A smoky crusty match made in heaven.
ugh most of u wouldnt have a shot with him anyways. just let her enjoy herself
They are both really pretentious. I can see the mutual attraction.
Which is it: is Sean Penn’s head HUUUGE, or is he three feet tall?!
Ugh, just ugh.
Hope she’s the one just using him for the sex & she ends up dumping him.
Unlike Robin Wright, Johannsen is not a great or even good actress. I actually find her voice and mannerisms to be quite annoying.
Penn is an amazing actor, but just disgusting … a walking ashtray and exploding sewer personality.
Penn knows he can never achieve Princess Buttercup levels again. Might as well go for the dumb blonde.
I would have never thought Scarjo is into recycling,”whoa,old crusty wrinkly balls and dong,still working?why not?go green!!
Yeah, I’m sure they’re annoyed by looky loo diners while they choose the MOST HIGHLY TRAFFICED pap restaurants in town.
They love their “relationship” being displayed. Gross.
She is a talentless skank, and I believe this story, even if it was in the Enquirer. She supposedly also blew Benicio del Toro in an elevator before the Oscars…and if that weren’t gross enough, she’s playing hide the sausage with her GrandDad now!
I think what turned me off the most about her though is when she was interviewed about her ‘role’ in the crappy Iron Man sequel and she said, quote, ‘Well, its got me in a tight outfit, so how bad can it be?’
Conceited twat.
What’s with the people crying about the age difference? I bet you’re all up in Demi Moore’s ass.
Damn whiny people, seriously
Penn is an amazing actor, but just disgusting … a walking ashtray and exploding sewer personality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@k: Eloquence… LOVE IT!
Scarlett to me is not even sexy. I mean she tries but if you look at her she just really is not sexy and beautiful. The true meaning of the 2 are by far different than what she obviously is, to me she is average but is also TRASHY. And that is where some are mistakenly picking up that she is sexy. Her mannerism and behavior that she shows to the world is something that we use to call a “SLUT”. Sean is just getting out of a divorce and let’s face it she threw herself on him. He also might be having a mid-life crisis. Otherwise the woman he chose to have a real committed relationship with were real woman and acted in such a manner to show it. Sean is very Talented and Smart, I am sure he is only looking at this as easy sex and a fling. It will not last. Whom he really wants to share his life with cannot be her after a long thing with Robin, which was a very classy union. He is not stupid. Scarlett and Sean are not in a serious relationship. It will not last. It is a fun thing right now for Sean. In the long run Scarlett for how she is acting is going to hurt her with other men and her reputation of how we think of her. I feel sorry for his children which have to be embarrased about the situation. Scarlett is old enough to be his daughter and his real daughter is only 19. This thing they are doing is really SICK!!!!!!! I do not enjoy hearing of this whole thing between them YUCK!!!!!! The mental difference between them as to wear him down too.
To Legend, I could not have said it better. I used to think she was a nice sweet girl, kind of “child like”. I used to doubt all of the negative gossip. But, Scarjo herself has proven that most of negative gossip has been created by no one else, but Scarjo herself. She has no dignity, no self respect. If you want to sleep around, she does not have to make it public. But, she and the old man want everyone
to know how involved they are. Of course, he is making it public to show the younger guys that he bedded Scarjo, and the idiot is making headlines by her slutty behavior. I used to think she was smart. Obviously, she is not!
Ryan Reynold has proven that he has more class, is a professional and of high moral character. Something that Scarjo is lacking.
I concede that he looks gross and is obviously a cock and everything, but you just KNOW he must be really good at going down on a girl. There’s just something about him that screams it.
This is all untrue! Sean is in Haiti, saving everyone down there! There is no way he would lie about that just to hang around Scarlett all the time in Hollywood!
Crusty,smoky balls….reminds me of a guy we uded to call Moldy Balls. SP just looks dirty. Anyone who chain smokes smells and looks dirty. Yeah…I said it, smokers.
SO embarrassed for this little dipchit. She’s obviously listened to her own press for way too long….And HIM – what a dik. What a terrific example to his young son. Yuck.