Dame Gwyneth Paltrow has deigned to speak to the peasants once again, this time shilling her cookbook in an interview with Ladies’ Home Journal. I wonder what Gwyneth really thinks about LHJ’s readers? That they are nice people, obviously, but that they are truly not as special or ladylike or talented as The Goop? Probably. Anyway, my favorite part of this short interview is Gwyneth talking about “the biggest misconception” about her. Goop deigns to say that the biggest misconception is that she’s “uptight” and then cries, “There’s nothing uptight about me! I’ve got this ice-blonde reputation and that’s just not me. I do silly things in public all the time, like hosting Saturday Night Live, or I’ll go out with friends and have a good time. I try to live my life to the fullest even if it means making a fool of myself.” Wow, she really wants to sell this cookbook, doesn’t she?

My cookbook is . . . .A way for me to honor my dad [director Bruce Paltrow, who died in 2002]. I called it My Father’s Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness because we learned how to cook together. But it’s strange. The other day I was thinking, Why did I write a cookbook? And, Why did I say yes to singing at the Country Music Awards? I’ll look back at a lot of things I’ve done and say, “How did I have the guts to do that?”

When it comes to food . . . . I’m the classic Jewish mother. I’m always making way too much, and I’m preoccupied with whether people have had enough to eat. When someone walks into my house, the first thing I do is make sure they’re fed.

The biggest misconception about me . . . . That I’m uptight. There’s nothing uptight about me! I’ve got this ice-blonde reputation and that’s just not me. I do silly things in public all the time, like hosting Saturday Night Live, or I’ll go out with friends and have a good time. I try to live my life to the fullest even if it means making a fool of myself.

I always avoid . . . . Junk food. But if someone gave me a basket filled with stinky, stinky cheese I’d be very, very happy.

On overeating . . . . There’s the me that will have a salad, a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine, and then there’s the other me that will have four glasses of wine, fried zucchini, pasta, chicken parmigiana and dessert. I try not to do that other version too much. I was at a party having dinner next to Mario Batali and he was like, “You’re the only person I know who eats more than me.”

My life motto . . . Try your hand at whatever you’re passionate about. I’ve taken whatever little bit of talent I was born with and worked it to death.

[From Ladies Home Journal]

Ugh. There’s something sad about the way Gwyneth has been hustling lately. I mean, I would understand it if Gwyneth was just trying to get her acting career back on track – that would be one thing, and her attempt would be long overdue. But it seems like Gwyneth is playing an entirely different game. She acts like everybody always thinks so highly of her acting skills, and we were just begging her to reveal more of her interests so we could perhaps share them with her. She wants to be accepted as an actress (although she thinks she’s still an A-list actress, when she’s really not), she wants to be accepted as a world-class cook, a singer, a lifestyle expert, all of it. That’s what I don’t understand: who died and made Gwyneth the new Martha Stewart? And why does she think any of us are interested in her Beyonce/Martha-fication? Does Gwyneth not realize that the overwhelming majority of us don’t care, and that there’s a growing number of us who actively think she’s a massive joke?

And that just makes me sad again. Because in Goop’s mind, she’s the best. She’s nailing all of this, and the peasants are eating it all up. Goop’s view of herself is extremely skewed from reality.

Photos courtesy of WENN.