Thankfully, the studio behind X-Men: First Class has realized that January “Deep-Thinking Diamond” Jones alone will not sell their movie, so they’re giving a little something to the ladies by sending out Michael Fassbender to do some publicity rounds. The gracious and lovely Fassdong (yes Kaiser, he still belongs to you, but I’m allowed a few conjugal visits on occasion) has responded in kind by speaking upon all sorts of topics concerning to not only his own character, Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, but also things that are particularly relative to Professor Charles Xavier/Dr. X (James McAvoy) and Dr. Shaw (Kevin Bacon). Fassdong also takes great care to praise the previous work of Ian McKellen as Magneto while asserting his own decision “to paint a new canvas” with his role, which immediately makes me think of Fassbender rolling around in body paint just like Farrah Fawcett did for Playboy. As you can see, Fassbender posts are a quickly becoming danger to me, so let’s just add an obligatory SPOILER ALERT here and swiftly move onto a titillating overview of the movie’s hot mutant sex as revealed to IGN:

IGN: James McAvoy was talking about Charles and Erik being like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X in their approach to the problem of humans and mutants living side-by-side – would you agree with that?

Fassbender: If that’s what he said, then yeah, I like it. That sounds good. It’s actually a good way to summarise it. But also, I think that Charles is just horny, and just trying to get laid. Throughout the film. He’s like ‘human beings are cool, give them a chance’ because he just wants to have human being sex. He doesn’t want to have mutant sex. Whereas Eric really gets off on mutant sex.

IGN: So is there any romance for Erik in this film?

Fassbender: You know, there are seeds of something there, but once again, he is so driven. He’s blinkered. It’s like, there is Shaw in his sights, and that is all he is really going for.

You know, the Fassdong should never be allowed to speak any derivative of “seed” lest he spontaneously father an entire generation of mutant babies. Wait, where were we again?

IGN: Was there a scene when you got the script that you were particularly excited to shoot?

Fassbender: For sure, but I don’t want to give too much of the story away. There were two scenes. One’s fairly early in the film, when you are introduced to him and he’s on this sort of hunt. He’s on a trail blaze of Nazi killing. He’s trying to tighten the screws to pinpoint where Shaw is.

IGN: Why is he after Shaw?

Fassbender: Shaw had him in these concentration camps and as we know, the Nazis were doing lots of experimentation – all sorts of things, like measuring skull and brain size and running experiments on human beings. So Shaw is trying to unleash this power in him – he’s recognized that he can manipulate metal and so we catch up with Erik on a quest to hunt him down.

IGN: So what should we expect from Kevin Bacon as Shaw?

Fassbender: You’ve got an actor who finds the truth in everything he does and has just a wealth of experience. I don’t know how many – 70-something films that he’s done, you know? It’s great to see that sort of person has survived in the business for so long and is really nice and easy to talk to and just wants to get the job done. Trying to find the truth in the scenes. Because that’s the thing – it is a fantastical world but you want the illusion, the bubble, to remain intact as much as it can. I don’t know if I’m explaining myself very well, but everything in the story is there for a reason. A component is not just there as filler – each thing is there to drive the next thing and interlink to maybe three scenes later. It’s just trying to find those things within a scene… we work through each scene and figure out if there are any weak points or things that we really like and need to accentuate. And with the relationship between Charles and Erik – how do you get the best juices out of that relationship?

[From IGN]

See, there he goes again with “juices.” Quite simply, the Fassdong doesn’t know his own strength, but he does drop the little detail that there might be second and third First Class movies if the first one succeeds with the geek crowd. If that happens, the Fassdong plans on returning (and, quite suggestively, intends on coming in at “ground level”) just to give us another reason beyond James McAvoy to watch this drivel. I’ll be totally honest here in that I never read the X-Men comics and (like a great many others) really disliked the preexisting installments of this franchise. Although, I definitely appreciate that the Fassdong has continued the Nazi-hunting legacy that he previously forged in Inglourious Basterds, and I’ll watch anything that he does. I would even watch him watching paint dry on a wall. So good job, Marvel Studios, for I’m sold!

Photos courtesy of WENN, Entertainment Weekly, NYT.