Linnocent wants her hearing pushed back, so she can celebrate Good Friday

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For some reason, I had it in my head that Linnocent’s preliminary hearing for her crack theft and probation violations was set for NEXT week, not this week. I think I associated Linnocent’s Crack Trial of The Century with Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding of the Century (or whatever). They’re happening really close together, but as it turns out, it’s a matter of one week, not just a few days. Linnocent’s hearing begins on Friday. Good Friday, marking the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, who is only the second biggest martyr ever, after Linnocent.

Linnocent is apparently asking the court to push back the hearing so that she can properly “celebrate” Good Friday. I would imagine her celebrations involve a brick of cocaine, ten bottles of tequila and a jug of Crisco. Fun fact: While Linnocent was raised a Catholic (side-eye at the Pope on that one), she might have “converted” to Judaism when she was with Samantha Ronson! Anyway, Radar’s sources claim that the DA is fine with pushing back the hearing until next month, but it’s not for sure yet: “The DA wants Lindsay’s lawyer to formally file the motion to continue the preliminary hearing.” UGH, CRACK DRAMA.

In other Linnocent news, Radar also claims that Linnocent is NOW thinking that maybe she take a plea deal. Remember how it was all LINNOCENT 4 EVA and “She’s going to beat these charges because the jewelry store should have caught her stealing in the store”? Yeah, now that Linnocent’s crack paranoia is setting in, she’s starting to realize that it could be really bad if and when she’s found guilty:

Troubled Hollywood actress Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer asked the judge in her grand theft case how much time she’ll get if she agrees to a guilty or no contest plea, RadarOnline has exclusively learned.

The eventual sentence was discussed last week in a top secret meeting between Los Angeles Judge Stephanie Sautner, Lohan attorney Shawn Holley and Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers.

Lohan’s preliminary hearing is scheduled to begin on Friday morning at the LAX Airport Courthouse. A source close to the case tells us the judge told both attorneys how much time the 24-year-old starlet of Mean Girls and Freaky Friday could serve, but word of a precise sentence hasn’t leaked. At worst, Lohan faces three years in a state slammer.

Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers will be calling the owner of the jewelry store where Lohan is accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace and the employee who waited on Lohan that day. The preliminary hearing is scheduled to last one to two days if Lohan doesn’t enter a plea on Friday.

Lohan isn’t too worried, it seems. She was spotted at the Woodstock-style Coachella music festival in Indio, California over the weekend.

[From Radar]

I think the time has already passed for Linnocent to try to plead this out, and that’s what the DA should stick with. I also think that a crackhead who is currently partying her crack off at Coachella (see photos here) shouldn’t get some kind of special dispensation for “religion”. But, this is the California legal system we’re talking about. The judge will probably offer Linnocent a line of coke as soon as she walks in the courthouse door.

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Photos courtesy of Fame and Purple Magazine.

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88 Responses to “Linnocent wants her hearing pushed back, so she can celebrate Good Friday”

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  1. Tanya says:

    OH, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *eye roll*

  2. hairball says:

    It is really, really disturbing how she has physically morphed into her mother.

    What the f*ck is with her fake long *ss straw hair??

    My MIL is here for the next 10 days and I swear to God I’m going to f*cking lose it. So my bitchiness starts now.

  3. yt says:

    *rotflmao*

    Who in h*ll told Lindsay it would be Good Friday? What has she done on previous Good Friday’s? When did she last go to Confession? Did she convert to Judaism or not, or does she switch them out based on convenience?

    She should be embarrassed to play the obviously fake religion card.

  4. Addie says:

    OFCOURSE she would pull something like this. She would not be our Linnocent if she didn’t.Slippery this one.

    @Hairball .Sorry to hear it.
    As a single woman, I can’t relate, but atleast you have Celebitchy if you need to escape.

  5. Ruby Red Lips says:

    FFS!!! This is farcical…

    Kaiser, lol! You know the line about the judge offering Lindsay coke is so true!!!

    California justice system seems to equal, no justice, just good ole times! WTF!!??

  6. sisi says:

    gee, wasn’t this date set weeks ago? Why request a date change on such short notice… silly girl. yeah, and Kaballah my ass apparently. Or am I that behind?

    The last time I saw her go to church was three rehabs ago.

  7. Ben says:

    WHAT is going on with your FACE, woman!? Those lips…

    And by the way, Lindsanity, Good Friday didn’t just pop up out of nowhere – it’s always been on the calendar. You getting scared?

  8. mia girl says:

    WTF “Properly celebrate Good Friday”!!!???? So devout.

    What did she give up for Lent – her dignity?…as evidenced by being kept by some dude for the past few weeks and showing up at that Gotti’s thing univited and shoving her way into the pictures… And during Holy week what was she doing… she is partying her a** off at Coachella…

    And then now, she wants to pull a “Good Friday” excuse. This is among the most insulting things this girl has done.

  9. Quest says:

    Innocent and religious? Oh please, what next LL?

  10. SolitaryAngel says:

    If I roll my eyes any harder they’ll stick this way.
    @hairball: Girl, you have my UTMOST sympathy…..

  11. Innocent says:

    @yt
    No she did NOT convert to Judaism

    That Radar story about Shawn asking about a plea is wrong. Lindsay and Shawn know the only way she can avoid prison if she wins at trial.
    Jury selection, all the security for the hearings and all the court cost$ is going to cost Cali a fortune thanks to a vindicative prosecutor that is hoping to become the new District Attorney.

    It is good that Lindsay is relying on her faith to get her through these difficult times.

  12. Marjalane says:

    If I have to go to work on Friday, Cracky can jolly well go to jail. Maybe California should just let all their crooks out for a holiday furlough; I understand Charles Manson wishes to attend a global warming rally that day, and really, is there that much difference between the two of them?

  13. mia girl says:

    And like clockwork, here is @Innocent (aka Dina Lohan) to add further absurdity to this story with her posts!

    You know @Innocent, you have to actually PRACTICE your faith right? You don’t get to just “rely” on it in troubled times. And as such, if Lindsey was really the Catholic she is claiming to be, one of the most basic tenants of the Catholic religion is to take responsibility for your sins and accept the proper punishment. And afterwards, to at least TRY to live a life in God’s image. The only try we see from you and your clan is the short grift.

  14. Elj says:

    Oh Christ, I was eating my lunch when I opened this. That picture of her in a crown of thorns with her freckled ginger baps out will haunt me forever.

  15. yt says:

    @Innocent Thinking a prosecutor from the DA’s office needs Lindsay to build their reputation is laughable. This prosecutor may prefer no association with Lindsay Lohan and her reputation.

    Lindsay would cost California a lot less money if she could manage to stay out of trouble (drugs, booze, hijacking cars) and stop “borrowing” things.

  16. Innocent says:

    @yt
    Before the injustice of July 6th she had a death penalty case that had like 1 reporter covering it.Then she spent an ENTIRE MONTH investigating a misdemeanor probation violation and then she puts Lindsay in jail and BAM her name is known everywhere and she even does a press conference when Lindsay surrenders.
    Now in this situation we have a store that set Lindsay up for publicity.
    The prosecutor was all too happy to file felony charges and get even more exposure for her DA campaign by taking on the Lindsay cases.

  17. dorothy says:

    Just the fact that it took the idiot this long to realize it was Good Friday this week shows she has no idea what it is. I hope the judge see’s this for what it is…another attempt to put off the inevitable.

  18. yt says:

    @Innocent
    Thanks for explaining to me why Lindsay’s current problem is the fault of the store and the prosecutor. They probably worked together to set poor Lindsay up so they could get publicity.

    *rolls eyes*

  19. logan says:

    @Tanya, you just rolled your eyes, I just rolled my eyes and Jesus just rolled his eyes. PLEASE!!!!!!!! Enough with this twit already. If she is not on crack, maybe she should be.

  20. brin says:

    Cracky probably hasn’t seen the inside of a church since never.

  21. Tanya says:

    @Logan: I think the entire gossip site frequenting public all engaged in a collective eye roll first thing after reading this tomfoolery. It sure seems as if Lilo isn’t the only one on the crack – the Cali judicial system is apparently bangin’ 7 gram rocks like C-Sheen if they allow this fuckery to pass. Man…

  22. mln76 says:

    @Innocent I am curious what the store did to ‘set Lindsay up’ ? Did they send her subliminal messages to steal the necklace??? Threaten her with bodily harm if she didn’t steal from them??? Your girl is a thief she took something that wasn’t hers and didn’t pay for it. That’s illegal even in California.

  23. Diane says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if she got her way. She always has so far. This crap just goes on and on and on.

  24. Roma says:

    Innocent, for some reason I really feel for you. It must be hard to try to believe in someone so badly who just keeps letting you down.

    Look. Maybe the prosecutor is looking for attention and the store is looking for publicity, but the reality is no one would be in this position if Lindsay was truly sober and not stealing.

    She is (rightfully so) bringing it upon herself and real jail time might actually make a difference.

    Edited to add: She’s wearing a f-ing coke bumper in one of those Coachella pics! Come on.

  25. Dinaisanenabler says:

    Alot of the problem with Linnocent is her parents being enablers, we should not at all be surprised her Momager posts here every time they run a story on her. Look the girl has been f*cked up on drugs on and off since she was a teenager, she has stolen plenty of items, been kicked out of every club fired from many movie sets, and has a MAJOR Entitlement problem. The little girl from Parent trap is long gone STOP STOP STOP making excuses for her. If Lindsey wants good friday to practice her faith ‘THen i am Mother Theresa in the flesh. @ Innocent-You should be embarrassed to post such nonsense here as noone would ever buy that. and both Michael and Dina – Stop selling out your child to the press to make a dime , did it ever occur to you maybe thats why she falls off the wagon every 18 months???? Things that make you go HMMMMMMMMM.

    * Severe Eye Rolls over and over *

  26. guesty says:

    @hairball…good luck!!!! Lol.

    Don’t hate but IMO she looks better than I’ve ever seen her in these pics.

    Judaism doesn’t celebrate Good Friday tho right? But Catholics for sure do. So I guess she’ll be whichever religion serves her purpose for the moment. Should’ve seen this coming. Insufferable.

  27. Qq says:

    Dearest Kaiser: every time you make a Linnocent post with the “Titty Jesus”, “Faces of makeupless crack” or “pink loving 40 y.o refined lot lizard” pictures my heart fucking SINGS, I Conjure the images and I get right back to giggling…. So really, thanks

    P.p.s:lets stop the goop, that unsexy humorless bitch is not even fun gossip

  28. Zoya says:

    Junkie prostitute =[

    I cant help but feel sorry for her no matter how selfish and ridicules she acts.

  29. mln76 says:

    well it’s also Passover this week so if she wanted to claim a Jewish holiday she could have. I am guessing she didn’t convert it isn’t an easy thing to do you actually have to study and read to become a Jew they don’t just let people in.

    BTW the director of the Gotti movie just mysteriously dropped out. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with the Lohan?http://www.imdb.com/news/ni9733753/

  30. dorothy says:

    @Innocent….I’ve concluded that you must be Dina. Only you could still be on that tired soapbox defending a loser daughter. Bless your heart, it must be hard to see what your money mooching, disregard for anything slightly maternal and basic knowledge of disciplining a child has wrought. Maybe time for you to to get a job? McDonalds is always looking for people.

  31. Innocent says:

    @Roma
    Great post and i agree that it was very reckless of Lindsay to leave the store without a written loan agreement but i think still think she is innocent.
    @Dinaisanenabler
    Every 18 months ?? HA HA

  32. Nanea says:

    Poor Linnocent. It must be really heard to keep up with those floating holidays on a coked-out brain.

    I have no other explanation as to why she would come up with Good Friday excuse now.

  33. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Hold on why I get up on my Catholic soapbox…The best way for Lindsay to “celebrate” Good Friday would be to take responsibility for her actions by going to court. Taking up her cross, if you will. It is a day of fasting & reflection & maybe a trip to Church for Station of the Cross, but that’s not an obligation. It is not one of the APECs Catholic holidays. There is no Good Friday Fudgie the Whale ice cream cake.

  34. yt says:

    I forgot about the ice cream cake caper! Lindsay can celebrate Good Friday with an ice cream cake! She’s special. Fasting is not needed. The only reflection Lindsay is capable of involves a mirror. Speaking of mirrors, a nice line of coke across a mirror would be the way to top off her celebration of Good Friday.

    It’s disgusting that Lindsay would pull this religious nonsense. Now we will have photos her going entering a church after auto-dialing the paps.

  35. Red Riding Hood says:

    Now I know Innocent has been taking the piss all along…

    Lindsay keeping strong due to her faith!? Oh innocent you do make me laugh!

  36. TaylorB says:

    If Lilo even attempted to cross the threshold of a church she would problably burst into flames.

  37. KJ says:

    So she wants to observe good Friday? She’s back to practicing catholicism? Then why was she at Coachella Fest just a few days ago – palm Sunday? I was raised Catholic and I know every cafeteria catholic trick in the book. Where were her ashes on ash Wednesday? Funny how she conveniently wants to observe the only day during holy week which happens to fall on a hearing date.

  38. KG says:

    @Innocent —

    While we are so lucky to have you in our presence, would you mind offering insight/explanation for the following items? I’m sure it will help clear up any misunderstandings we have about LiLo’s past transgressions:

    — Stealing a fur coat from a fellow club patron
    — Stealing a friend’s Rolex
    — How the cocaine got in her pants
    — Why she hijacked an SUV and took three “innocent” men on a “joyride”
    — Sneaking out and returning to the Betty Ford Center drunk
    — Is she now insurable for these Gotti movies she claims she is going to be cast in?
    — Was her 2006 “appendix surgery” related to drugs?
    — Did she really lose her passport in Cannes?
    — Did someone really steal her legging designs?
    — Was she really serious about her “designs” for Ungaro?
    — Do you seriously consider her to be a child that doesn’t know any better? And if you do, do you realize how poorly that reflects on the primary parental guardian in her life … which would be you?

    Thanks. I’ll hang up and listen.

  39. YAY says:

    @Innocent is back, bitches! 🙂

  40. Lindy says:

    Uh, so I have a PhD in Catholic theology (no joke) and you don’t “celebrate” Good Friday. You go to mass and mourn the death of the Lord, refrain from eating meat, and try really hard to reflect on all the ways that you have been a lousy person and all the ways you could be kinder and better. What better place for Linnocent to do that than in a courtroom? Just sayin’

  41. Susette says:

    Innocent – If Lindsay’s Catholic, why has she had her picture taken wearing a Kabbalah bracelet. Kabbalah is Jewish. Um, unless she isn’t sincere about any religious exploration and is just using this as an excuse to stall her trial. Nah, couldn’t be.

  42. lindseythecrackthief says:

    innocent – just change your name back to Dina,
    nobody would ever defend her but you,
    I mean you are her manager so as long as you keep her out of jail and try to sell her so called innocence to every tabloid you will keep making money off her.
    Cody is old enough know when are you going to start pimping him?

  43. Rita says:

    This is just the first of the delaying tactics. Next month is Cino de Mayo, then memorial day, some day in June is the celebration of her first menstrual cycle, then the 4th of July, and on and on. Finally, there will be the pregnancy that fortunately won’t go to term.

  44. lindseythecrackthief says:

    Innocent – Reply to Kg PLEASE it would just make my week to read your sad made up answers .

  45. bluhare says:

    Innocent, since you have an “inside” view of the situation, could you find out why Lindsay just hasn’t owned up to taking the necklace (even you admit she took it; look at your post above — she didn’t have a loan agreement, ergo, she took it)?

    And why she just now realized it’s Good Friday this week when the rest of the world knew months ago? And what her plans on Friday are? Is she going to get a cross and nail herself up? That might be worth watching.

  46. abbizmal says:

    Hey, Kaiser, Lindsey and/or White Oprah reads your stories. See #11 above.

  47. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    For Lent, Linnocent gave up her straw.
    Now she just puts her whole face in it.

  48. Leah No-No says:

    I don’t see what the big deal is, I know growing up my creepily-identical looking mom and I would spend Good Friday doing bumps, driving drunk and smacking into baby carriages, stealing crap, stalking my exes, giving bizarre interviews and over all feeling incredibly entitled. Sometimes we would exchange baskets of Parliments, uppers, and fur coats we borrowed from coat check. We’d take lots of photos, then deny everything and say we’re being picked on unfairly.
    My point is, it’s nice to see a mom and daughter really embrace the holiday and their faith.
    *I hope I typed that all correctly, one of my eyes is permanently rolled up in my head when Innocent returned.

  49. Good Friday, marking the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, who is only the second biggest martyr ever, after Linnocent.

    Love it!

    Now, unlike Lilo, I’m not a very religious person.
    My early childhood exposure to Christianity was primarily through my grandparents and Ned Flanders. I think I turned out ok – I don’t take things that don’t belong to me and I have the emotional capacity for shame. . .

    Perhaps I could draw from my meager exposure to impart a bit of religious council to Lindsay – from one agnostic to one opportunistic Christian : “Lies make baby Jesus cry.”

  50. xxodettexx says:

    “But, this is the California legal system we’re talking about. The judge will probably offer Linnocent a line of coke as soon as she walks in the courthouse door.”

    hmm, id say that describes the legal system for the RICH very accurately [not just Cali]

    yeah yeah, there are a few states that like to come down hard on anyone, rich/famous included, but lets be honest here: money talks…

  51. yt says:

    The religious excuse for delaying a court date bombed. Big time.

    The judge may have to go along with it because the courts need to tread carefully around religious reasons/excuses, but this is not going well PR-wise.

    Shovel please.

  52. 4Real says:

    JESUS WOULD NOT APPROVE!!!

  53. OriginalGracie says:

    As soon as I read the heading of this story, without even thinking, I said outloud: “Oh my god, this delusional whore needs to shut up!”

    That is how sick I am of Linnocent and her drama queen bullshit antics.

  54. Samigirl says:

    Oh dear. Innocent is back. I’ve been waiting and waiting for this moment, Dread Pirate Cuervo, I bow down to you. I snorted when I read your comment. Hysterical.

  55. GradStudentEatingHotPockets says:

    I hope she knows that as a Catholic she can’t consume meat on Good Friday….I’m just going to assume dick can be seen as man “meat.”

  56. dread pirate cuervo says:

    @Samigirl, thank you kindly. In the spirit of the season, I actually held back (alot), b/c I don’t want to mock Good Friday while ripping Lindsay a new one, especially since she’s claiming to want to “celebrate” but is completely & utterly unclear on the concept. Her family seems the type to only go to Church when some’s wearing a white dress. They’re the ones flashing their biscuits at a Christening b/c the think modesty is a maxi pad from the 70’s. See Lindsay’s court attire for proof.

  57. Jack says:

    @ 17 … see’s ? You’re hilarious !! No apostrophe, honey. Also hilarious … Friday’s … haha. Where’d you people go to school ??

  58. Ben says:

    Aaaaaah how I love these comment threads and the hilarious busted Lindsanity LOLhan pictures always used. (I’m sorry, I know I need a smack for using that nickname made up by whoever was writing Perez’s stories a couple of years ago.)

    But people, can we stop saying Innocent is Dina? We *all* know bitch can’t spell for shit.

  59. OhMyMy says:

    @mia girl: “gave up her dignity for Lent”. LOL. She doesn’t know what that it is….wouldn’t recognize it if it offered her a line of coke.

    @dreadprivatecuervo: True. I don’t think she knows what Catholicism means either. There’s lots of lapsed Catholics running around (me included) but I wouldn’t dare pull a stunt like this.

    They’re doing the Stations of the Cross at Chateau Marmont on Friday…right? Maybe that’s what Lindsay means….!!

  60. dread pirate cuervo says:

    @OhMyMy, she probably thinks Stations is a pub crawl!

  61. boo says:

    WTF! she wants to celebrate what? Good Friday? Oh, please, when I read this the sky darkened and I think the sun is eclipsing, it’s the Apocalypse. This is embarrassing, I am totally embarrassed to live in this state, California is ridiculous when it comes to its shrine of celebrities. Charlie Sheen and Lilo, just go away.

  62. Alarmjaguar says:

    @ mia girl: What did she give up for Lent – her dignity?…

    Bwah, hahahahaha! Good one

  63. hairball says:

    @Addie, Solitary Angel, guesty: thanks

  64. wunderkindt says:

    The Cal judge wont only just offer line of coke, but join in too.
    They’ll porbably snort a few lines together and then sashay into the ‘joke’-I mean court-room!

  65. Innocent says:

    @kg
    Stealing a fur coat from a fellow club patron – She didn’t steal it, it was a misunderstanding and the incident was resolved with no admission of guilt
    – Stealing a friend’s Rolex – That was just rumours by TMZ
    – How the cocaine got in her pants – She plead guilty to misdemeanor cocaine possession twice so. obviously she was taking it
    – Why she hijacked an SUV and took three “innocent” men on a “joyride” – That story is fabricated and the Judge actually said the “victims” were exaggerating their version of events.
    – Sneaking out and returning to the Betty Ford Center drunk – Dawn never said Lindsay was drunk in anything other than the PAID Tmz interview. I mean it was was wrong to break curfew in court ordered rehab but…everyone including Betty Ford knew Lindsay’s deal. They let her leave on January 3rd[the earliest date set by the Judge]
    – Is she now insurable for these Gotti movies she claims she is going to be cast in? – If Shawn wins this case she loses the client from h*ll as Lindsay will no longer be on probation. There is no way she is pleading out when she knows that Shawn is going to do everything she can to get Lindsay her freedon back.
    – Was her 2006 “appendix surgery” related to drugs? No idea about that
    – Did she really lose her passport in Cannes? – No i think she made a strategic legal move to delay as she knew she could have failed a test and screwed up her plea deal. It worked out because the charges were still dismissed.
    – Did someone really steal her legging designs? – Again not sure but she was using around that time and she and Patrick are friends again.
    – Was she really serious about her “designs” for Ungaro? Yes i think she tried but she was obviously using around that time.
    – Do you seriously consider her to be a child that doesn’t know any better? And if you do, do you realize how poorly that reflects on the primary parental guardian in her life … which would be you – Not Dina, so…. no idea how to respond to that question.

    @bluhare
    No she DID NOT take it. She just didn’t get written proof that she was allowed to borrow it. As i said she was totally set up by Kamofie and DA was overjoyed to file the felony charges and wa$te hundreds of thousands of dollars on this ridiculous case.

    Even if she gets a continuance on Friday she still has to make an appearance because its a felony charge.
    More money for California taxpayers to waste on security etc.

  66. Ruby Red Lips says:

    oh Innocent, you are so funny! as noted above you are really taking us all for a ride with us all thinking you actually believe this nonsense!

    Esp, Lindsay’s faith is keeping her strong’ oh so so funny! you prankster you!

  67. mia girl says:

    @ruby red I think you are right… there is no way Innocent can be that delusional.

    And so cat is out of the bag! Innocent’s posts are simply James Franco’s latest foray into performance art. Bravo Mr. Franco, bravo!

  68. OhMyMy says:

    @Innocent: More money for California taxpayers to waste on security etc.

    Lindsay couldn’t care less how much money all this is costing the taxpayers of California. Lindsay’s only interested in getting what Lindsay wants. She’s the one instigating this delay.

    Try again.

  69. Mairead says:

    Only this dumbass would “celebrate” on a day of fasting. I swear to God, two short planks would get a PhD before this idiot has a coherent thought.

  70. KG says:

    @Innocent —

    My bad. You post like a drunken, enabling Lohan parental unit. Obviously you could understand my confusion, especially since you seem to only post under this handle on all LiLo-related items on the most popular blogs.

  71. Madisyn says:

    I’ve been looking forward to this for six weeks.

    Mother Effing C U N T! Nuff said!

  72. Ruffian9 says:

    “…is apparently asking the court to push back the hearing so that she can properly “celebrate” Good Friday snorting enormous amounts of cocaine.”

    Fixed it.

  73. Stephanie says:

    I keep trying to decide which one of these photos will be featured during her “E Hollywood Story” TV special in ten years. Hopefully she does not OD by then but I would not bet against it. Sad.

  74. lindseythecrackthief says:

    Innocent LMAO LMAO thank you for your hilarious take on Lindseys charges,
    Not even Grandma Lohan would buy that story.

    “No she DID NOT take it. She just didn’t get written proof that she was allowed to borrow it”
    Standing Ovation for this one, Come on now you seen the video, dont insult your own intelligence.

  75. Kat says:

    File under: “Give Me A Frakkin’ Break”.

    Also, nice duck lips, cracky.

  76. Debsa says:

    Isn’t ‘celebrate’ part of her issue? Get your head
    on straight girl, your fifteen is fading fast…

  77. MaudeLebowski says:

    @hairball, I am very sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you feel. Just make sure you don’t bite the inside of your face too much. I recommend something else to chew on, like a throat lolly.
    Also, just leave regularly, on “errands”.

  78. Rio says:

    Really? Wow, I had no idea Lindsay was so devout! I guess I was in a coma the day all the paparazzi photos of her ash-streaked forehead were released last month.
    Unless she’s still wearing it. That would explain a lot towards her general filthy appearance.

  79. TaylorB says:

    Innocent…

    Interesting point…“No she DID NOT take it. She just didn’t get written proof that she was allowed to borrow it”

    If she wins on that argument I will faint, can you imagine rhw precedent???? ‘Judge, I didn’t rob the bank, I just borrowed the money without written permission’

    …total bullsh*t, but interesting.

  80. TaylorB says:

    I know I am being a negative Nelly here, and I really do hope she cleans up her act, but I still keep wondering if her new found faith is simply and excuse for when her SCRAM device goes off and she can blame it on Holy Wine instead of Mojitos and Pomtinis.

  81. Alix says:

    Um, not for nothin’, Lindsay, but one doesn’t *celebrate* Good Friday (or Lent, for that matter), one *observes* it. Good Friday is the most solemn day in the liturgical calendar, Easter the most joyous (and, therefore, celebrated). Sheesh.

  82. jill says:

    Celebitchy should run a contest to predict what she is going to wear to court. The winner gets to declare this site a Crackie-free one for a week. lol

    love the first pix. Is that her co-dependent exploiter Tyler Shields’ work?

  83. Ur Favorite Bartender says:

    Those saggy “hello belly button” tits! That bleached to hell weave! Those teeth framed in that disgusting pout! That carrot skin with bronzer-induced bruises!

    I’m 100% sure after reading this post that her outside fug matches the shallow, dead fug within 🙁

  84. Innocent says:

    @TaylorB
    You saw the surveilance video i didn’t see anyone stopping her. The woman even held the door open for her.
    She isn’t on probation anymore so she doesn’t have to worry about the SCRAM etc.

  85. Roma says:

    @Innocent: Isn’t it possible that no one tried to stop her because they didn’t realize she was stealing it?

  86. Hakura says:

    And here I was, hoping I would receive the gift of seeing Lindsay FINALLY taken to task, for my birthday (April 23rd).

    Such a disappointment, & yet not at all shocking. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never goes to court.

  87. TaylorB says:

    Innocent wrote: “You saw the surveilance video i didn’t see anyone stopping her. The woman even held the door open for her.”

    I would imagine that same defense would work for most shoplifters… no one stopped me so I guess it is mine, yay!

    This woman has borrowed jewelry in the past, she no doubt knows that she must sign an agreement with any store to borrow jewels. And I am even going to go so far as to say on the off chance she ‘forgot’ that she was still wearing the necklace when she walked out, at some point in the next several hours a person would see their mistake, hightail it back to the store and return the merch offer an apology for any misunderstanding and sign any loan papers. She did none of that, so unless she is monumentally stupid, she is a shoplifter. The same goes for the fur coat she swiped, unless she is a complete and utter moron, she knew that wasn’t her coat. Or the SUV she drove off in that didn’t belong to her and she didn’t know the owners. The woman is an entitled little theif with no respect for other peoples property.

    I mean no disrespect to you, I gather that you are very fond of her, but I personally think she is full of cr*p.

  88. akewlazzmom says:

    @kg #70
    No, actually she goes by “Nicole” over on TMZ. I thought it was her, and it was confirmed when she used the phrase “the injustice of July 6th”. Gave her away! Lol
    And she always ends her posts with-
    LINNOCENT
    Always know when DUIna is onboard!! Lol