Here are some photos of Lady Gaga coked out of her mind performing at the Cannes Film Festival last night. From the photos, I can tell she came in on a boat. Sure. I can also tell that she’s really puffy for some reason. And that she looks like she’s on a really bad trip, whatever she’s on.

Anyway, as we were talking about yesterday, Gaga is the cover girl for the new issue of V Magazine. She not only sits down for an interview (with Elton John, ugh), but she “wrote” a column for the magazine. It’s pretty bad:

If there’s one thing Lady Gaga knows a lot about, it’s pop culture. In her first column for V Magazine, the 25-year-old New Yorker says she’s been keeping tabs on the world around her since she was an aspiring singer in a roach-infested apartment.

“Glam culture is ultimately rooted in obsession,” she writes, “and those of us who are truly devoted and loyal to the lifestyle of glamour are masters of its history. Or, to put it more elegantly, we are librarians.”

“I myself can look at almost any hemline, silhouette, beadwork or heel architecture and tell you very precisely who designed it after them, and what cultural and musical movement parented the birth, death and resurrection of that particular trend,” she boasts.

So how did the “Judas” singer (real name: Stefani Germanotta) become such an authority?

“An expertise in the vocabulary of fashion, art and pop culture requires a tremendous amount of studying. My studio apartment on the LES, quite similar to many of my hotel suites now (knock on wood), was covered in inspiration,” she explains. “Everything from vintage books and magazine I found at the Strand on 12th Street to my dad’s old Bowie posters to metal record from my best friend Lady Starlight to Aunt Merle’s hand-me-down emerald-green designer pumps were sprawled all over the floor about two feet from my bathroom and four inches from my George Foreman Grill.”

“I’ve done my homework. Have you?” she asks readers. “Where are your library cards?”

[From Us Weekly]

Dear God, when did Gaga become one of those celebrities that I just want to smack? She’s like Lea Michele or Kristen Stewart at this point, that how much I want to shake the bejesus out of her and scream into her cokeface, “GET SOME PERSPECTIVE, BITCH!”

As for the interview with Elton John, Gaga was slightly less nauseating, but only barely.

She’s rocked the runway in Paris, worn gravity-defying heels and even lived in a custom-made vessel for a day. But Lady Gaga‘s take on fashion isn’t so far out.

“I’m mostly inspired by shapes, and using the body to create iconography,” she tells Elton John in the latest issue of V magazine. “Leather culture and high-street punk fashion. I would say perfecto jackets occupy most of my fashion thoughts.”

It’s a far cry from the woman who’s been sporting ‘protrusions’ on her shoulders and forehead lately, and often wears her heavy makeup to bed. But Gaga, who has relationships with such designers as Mugler’s Nicola Formichetti and the late Alexander McQueen, says “there are no rules” when it comes to her fashion sense.

“We were laughing on the set of the ‘Judas’ video — we had 50 racks of couture,” she explains, “and I wore leather, Motorhead panties made of a vintage T-shirt, custom from young designers who are my friends, my own creations, and archive Christian Lacroix from a museum.”

But her style doesn’t always fall into place so easily; when John asks her about her future, Gaga replies, “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to wear later.”

[From People]

You remember how Elton John is credited with helping Eminem get sober? I hope Gaga lives long enough to have one of those stories. You know, she’ll be telling a magazine “I was doing lines and drawing psychedelic hedgehogs on the wall of the Marmont when Elton John walked in and said, ‘Gurl, you need some help.’”

Photos courtesy of Fame.