Gwyneth Paltrow just doesn’t understand how there are people in the world who weren’t born with famous parents, who didn’t exploit their family connections to get a head start, and have the world handed to them at an early age. She thinks everyone is like her, making millions of dollars for a few days of work here and there. She thinks everyone is just waiting – holding our breath – just wishing that a few more morsels of snotty perfection would fall from her elegant mouth, gracing us with her brilliant advice. So Gwyneth – who is likely a functioning alcoholic, in my opinion – decided to deign to give the peasants hangover advice. For real!

Perhaps Gwyneth Paltrow can teach the Jersey Shore cast a thing or two.

In an interview with England’s Closer magazine, the 38-year-old Oscar winner — who’s a big fan of Guinness beer and red wine — says she rarely gets sick after a night of too much drinking.

The reason? “I have a great hangover cure,” she explains. “I take a cold shower in the morning and then I go into the sauna and drink a lot of water throughout the day. Green tea also helps!”

The actress, who wed Coldplay frontman Chris Martin in 2003, adds that she’s a lot more fun than people give her credit for.

“The biggest misconception about me is that I am uptight,” she shrugs. “I don’t know why that exists, but I hope if people watch Glee that maybe they will develop a different impression of me.”

[From Us Weekly]

You know Gwyneth isn’t talking about a sauna at your gym, either. She’s talking about her own private sauna, in her home. Because that’s what she recommends – first, build a multi-million dollar home with a built-in sauna for hangovers, THEN you can drink. More from Goop:

“What also helps me when I’m feeling a little spotty – as they say in my home, the greatest city in the world, London – is to rub diamonds on my body. Ten carats or greater – small, peasant diamonds won’t help, that‘s what my deal friend Queen Rania told me. Or was it Deepak Chopra? No, it was Yoko Ono. I also find it terribly useful to just go ahead and schedule The Peacock Colonic. Have you never heard of that? Oh, I forgot, it’s a elite-members-only perk at The Platinum Rich People’s Club. The Peacock Colonic is where they stick foie gras, peacock tears and cavier up your bum and… well, it’s too difficult to explain. But it’s worth every farthing of the 5000 Euros! Nelson Mandela recommended it to me over a dinner of veal with gold leaf and Portobello mushrooms soaked in Genghis Khan’s genetically reimagined blood. Delicious! Anyway, I must be off. I’m planning a dinner for Beyonce, my new best friend President Hu Jintao and Thomas Pynchon, who just called and told me that he thought my cookbook was the best-written piece of literature, ever.”

Photos courtesy of WENN and Pacific Coast News.