Lindsay Lohan has apparently returned from her cracked-out jaunt to Miami, and she’s now back in LA. She was in Miami to “do a photo shoot” – which consisted of not even one full day of work. She spent the rest of her, like, five day trip just hanging out, infected the ocean with her scabies and “drinking water”. Anyhoodle, she’s back in LA, and instead of pulling some community service hours at the ol’ women’s center, Linnocent turned herself into the Sheriff’s Dept and has begun her house arrest:
Lindsay Lohan is officially confined to her townhouse … TMZ has learned the actress surrendered to authorities this morning and has begun to serve her house arrest sentence.
Lohan arrived to the Lynwood Jail at 5:02 AM this morning to check in — where she was fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet. She was quickly sent home to her pad in Venice, CA and we’re told she’ll spend roughly 35 days in confinement.
According to the booking sheet, 24-year-old Lohan was listed at 5’7″ and 117 lbs.
The sentence stems from Lohan’s legal troubles involving a necklace she allegedly stole from a Venice jeweler. Lohan pled no contest in the case.
In addition to the house arrest, Lohan was also ordered to complete 480 hours of community service – which includes a stint at the L.A. County morgue.
[From TMZ]
“Confinement”? She still gets to hang out and have visitors and watch TV, right? And I bet that monitoring anklet only keeps track of WHERE she is, not what drugs she’s doing and what she’s drinking (“water”). You know how much I would love that kind of house arrest? I practically HAVE that kind of house arrest, only I call it “working from home.” And my house is no Venice Beach townhouse. Still, this whole house arrest thing sounds like a really awesome vacation.
But still, I have my doubts as to whether Linnocent can actually pull off 35 days of this. Any bets as to when the police will have to track her crack lojack to the Marmont?
Photos courtesy of Fame.
Isn’t she the fresh, young thing?
Red Bull and vodka for everyone…except you, Lindsay.
Okay I want ten days. I give her ten days till she finds trouble.
Or she sets the house on fire to have a legit reason to leave it. On day ten. 🙂
“I practically HAVE that kind of house arrest, only I call it ‘working from home.'”
Love it. Guess I’m on house arrest, too. With a 21 mos old to take care of and a house to run. OMG! I’m JUST like Lindsay!!! So cool! Does that mean I don’t have to wait until after lunch to start drinking ;)?
Sounds like a vacation to most of us, but for someone who craves attention and the spotlight, and can’t seem to stay home to save her life, this is probably going to drive her nuts. 😀
I agree Hautie. You know some sort of crack drama will ensue. And even if she manages to complete the 35 days, she still has a boatload of com. service hours to do, and I’ll be stunned if she finishes that in time.
What’s the over/under on how many days til we publicly relapse? She already was rumored to have dunked some chicks camera in ice water because the girl was snapping pics or Lindsay drinking at a club. And her probation report states she was drinking during rehab.
Naw but she’s totes sober guys. Totes sober. She’s ready for a career comeback and to be on set again. She’s a broken record. We’ve been hearing this story since she fell off after Georgia Rule. “I’m on a good path and trying to get my life back together.” Then stop with the drugs and alcohol you entitled cunt. Christ.
EDIT: oh and house arrest should not be an option if you’re a celebrity or millionaire. You mean I get to stay home with all my expensive shit instead of sitting in a 5 x 5 cell where my bed is five inches from my toilet? Uh yea I think house arrest sounds like a HUGE load of shit.
AND… there’s no way she only weighs 117 lbs, just sayin’.
Do I hear anyone saying “Houseparty”….yeah!
lucy2, I agree…for someone who loves/craves the spotlight, she’ll never last 35 days.
and 480 hours of com. service? she’ll never complete it in the time allowed.
the judge set her up to fail, and I hope she actually goes to jail when she does.
Okay, ladies, chug those vodka-redbulls and let’s start placing our bets:
I give her no more than a week before she’s sobbing to TMZ that she was just SO LONELY and CLAUSTROPHOBIC and HAD TO LEAVE JUST TO KEEP HER SANITY. (HA! Can’t keep something you haven’t got, girl!) Or until Orange Oprah is sobbing to TMZ to “LEAVE HER ALONE, SHE’S JUST AN INNOCENT CHILD! She was just REHEARSING FOR A ROLE AS A CRIMINAL because she JUST WANTS TO WORK!” (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *snickersnortguffaw* Sorry – had to wipe my tears off the keyboard)
@ Quest – Yeah, this must mean that SOMEBODY stocked up and cleaned out every liquor store; and all the liquor sections of every grocery store, convenience store, and gas station in the Greater LA area. And maybe Orange County and the Valley, too.
117 pounds? I am 5’3″ with a tiny build and I weigh 120. Looking at these pics, I am doubting that.
Her boobs alone weigh more than I do.
I can’t be worried about her; it’s every man for himself. As long as she’s not hogging up valuable internet exposure, twittering about phantom stalkers or having “wardrobe malfunctions”, I’m good with her being under house arrest. Good riddance pig, I say.
It’s not like she’s some great loss to the entertainment industry.
@originalgracie – I thought the exact same thing. I’m 5’5, 125 and I consider myself on the smaller end of average. There’s no way she’s 117 unless they weighed her body separated from her tits.
35 days indoors, voluntarily would prob be ok but forced to be indoors for 35 days would even drive me mad…and then we have Linnocent, I agree with posters above, give it 10 days and she’ll have slipped out for an ’emergency’
OR she’ll spend the whole 35 days coked and drunk out of her skull!!
Can’t wait for the next update!
She won’t last 35 days. She’ll run away b/c her dad shows up on her doorstep & then she’ll get away with that shit, too. I hope TMZ has someone stationed outside her door to show the world that all White Oprah brings her is gallon bottles of cheap vodka. That & all the customers who have to come to her now.
A former neighbor of mine was on house arrest for three months. He moved his couch and TV inti the garage and sat out there drinking beer, watching TV and talking to everyone who walked by. And he had a pool party every weekend. House arrest sounds good to me!
Very unflattering shots. Especially the top one. But I love her necklace and I wish I were swimming in that surf! Looks fun.
@the original bellaluna- Great, it’s a holiday weekend and my birthday weekend, and the entire tri-county area is going to be wiped out of all booze. *sigh*
No way does Lindsay weigh 117 lbs no way
why the hell did she report at 5am? is there something i am missing here?
@ Charlotte – Yeah, she really puts the “crack” in “cracken”!
@ Melinda – Happy Birthday, and I’m so sorry about the booze situation! Maybe they’ll have re-stocked by then. 😀
@the original bellaluna – yeah chick all we need is for Brin to bring the Red-Bull, we have Vodka
@Melinda – we’ll have a blast for you Bday
You know after a month of hanging out at home drinking, snorting, and popping all her little heart desires, she is not going to be able stay sober enough to really do any community service. I hope the people at that women’s shelter don’t cover for her like the people at B.F.C. did. I hope they rat her out for every time she shows up drunk or acts like the spoiled bitch she is.
Will she be monitored for alcohol consumption? Anyone know?
Those pics are not flattering. Maybe she can work on toning herself up during her hard time. And I say that with tongue in cheek.
Omg. The tweets are going to be epic. I seriously can’t wait!
So she’s finally grounded huh?
Is Ali babysitting her so Lindsay can send her to the store for cigs and Red Bull when she runs out?
I don’t think she’ll last either. She’ll probably get bored and annoy everyone by twitter. Probably see stories on TMZ that she’s busy reading her pile of scripts (snicker) or rumors that she’s going to have roles in every movie coming out in the next 2 years.
Who’s got the betting pool going? My bet is they hold a cig under the fire alarm so she can get outside. If I were one of her immediate neighbors…I’d be nervous.
The article on People.com this morning said she wasn’t being monitored for alcohol/drugs so maybe she just has a location monitor device. If that’s true she’ll probably do whatever she wants. So much for that clean and sober thing. Hopefully they’ll send someone to the condo to test her randomly.
Quick! Wizard of Oz rules! Now that we know where the little witch is, somebody drop a house on her!
Does she have breast implants? If she does, they look Real! Cause I would imagine if they were real, she’d lose ’em to all the drugs she does??
Hell I don’t even give her 10 days…..She will be cracked out crazy bustin out of that house in a few days. If I was a cop, I would set up and monitor everyone who makes any “deliveries” to her crack house.
LMAO @ Rog
Can we all pray that her judge will be a hardass like Paris Hilton’s was, and when Lindsay tries to leave in 35 *cough*two*cough* days, she’ll say “Nope, you’re doing the entire 120 days.”
Because, seriously. Why should anyone on house arrest get a shorter sentence? That makes no sense. In jail, okay…overcrowding, good behavior, whatever. But you shouldn’t be rewarded for being good while you’re on house arrest.
@ Melinda
Happy B.day wkd!! Just phone up some elderly relative and find out how to make “hootch”/bathtub booze and you should do OK. I know you’ll do your best, sweetheart! Go Team Melinda!
I’m probably the only person still rooting for her to turn her life around. She was really cute in Mean Girls and I thought (at the time) that she had a good career in front of her. Maybe this will give her some time to think about what she really wants out of life and clean up her act. I doubt it, but just maybe.
@Elizabeth- Thanks! Great idea, I’d better get started!
Thanks for the bday wishes, I’ll let you gals know how the bath tub hootch turns out, it may be a hit for future tailgate parties. 🙂
I think, in the next week, there will be pictures of her hanging out the window smoking and talking to the paparazzi. To stay relevant there will be a bikini or nip slip picture taken of her out on the balcony. Mark my words, she will find a way to get her picture taken.
OT, check out lindsay in this–
(from arrestedmotion.com)
“Lindsay Lohan” – a 90-second motion portrait of Lindsay Lohan by artist Richard Phillips – will be included in “Commercial Break” at the 2011 Venice Biennale.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–rs7Ni7nmA&feature=player_embedded
not sure what to think of it…
@ Dani – From what I read this morning, her canklet is only a “crack lojack” as Kaiser dubbed it. (And hearts to Kaiser for that gem!) It doesn’t appear she’ll be wearing her alcohol-monitoring device – damn, there goes her sense of fashion!
@prettylights: No, you aren’t the only one who hopes she turns her life around. I think lots of people do, or have, but she blows up every time.
That being said, I give it two weeks and the stalker will be in the bushes making it impossible for her to be home, and she has to rush over to the Marmont because there’s safety in numbers over there!
I think the stalker’s going to have to move over to make room for Innocent in those bushes outside Lindsay’s house.
I give her about 7 days, and then it’s on, she’ll either go to hospital or the stalker will be bothering her and she has to leave her house. There are crack shenanigans in the making as we speak. This girl cannot make it for 35 days without some sort of attention. More than the drugs and alcohol addiction, she’s addicted to publicity, she does not exist unless someone is taking a picture of her. So, yeah, 7 days is all I’m giving her.
but she’s afraid of her home- the Freemason is out to get her, remember?
the last time she had a “stalker” she was moved within Betty Ford… and soon after the whole Dawn Holland thing came out.
Wonder what this stalker was a red herring for?
So what do you think she weighs? 127?
Camera adds 10 lbs… I think she is actually quite tiny with narrow hips. The weight kinda surprised me, but why would the Sheriff’s dept lie?
I tried, but I just relapsed on booze. Not my fault though! My husband likes to drink and he made me!
@rightgrrl: seriously? wtf venice biennale. might as well have mcdonalds commercials and a starbucks booth. UGH. you don’t get much more corporate whore, so why stop with a Lindsay Lohan jerkfest?
@ KJ: ditto. have nothing to add to that.
anyone who believes the weight she quoted also believes she’s sober. enjoy your delusion.
Oh jeez, Vanessa, really?! At least be a snarky gal with the rest of us!
She looks pudgy and soft all over. The blond hair looks hideous with her skin tone and she looks ten to fifteen years older than she actually is. Even if through the miracle of all miracles she manages to clean up her act (AHAHAHAHA!) no one will hire her when her looks are this busted.
I usually just lurk on the Linnocent posts, but I couldn’t keep away now. It’s like watching a train derailment in slow motion. Is this her rock bottom, or will she go so deep she’ll meet a balrog and then proposition it in exchange for some pipeweed?
How long before we see some pap shots of her topless or naked in front of her apartment window? Staged of course.
35 days. Shpfff. I spend more than that amount at home, inside, without even needing to be arrested or charged or drugged off my tits.
@Crash2GO2: I will say 140.
Reasons: coke bloat, terrible eating habits, booze, at least 50 different kinds of drugs (legal and illegal), random sex with anyone who asks and possibly an eating disorder.
Nah, I’m 5’9″ and 150, and am bigger than her. No way she is 140 and 2 inches shorter. Just goes to show how crazy that freaking Kirstie Alley post is. I love this celeb weight and size delusion, WTF?
House arrest like that we’d all love, but she won’t be able to hack it. We ought to start a betting pool.
No way does she weigh 140. I’m betting 117 is her real weight. Remember, she’s soft and light boned. Take 10 lbs off for that.
Now, I’d put Britney at 140. She’s 5’4″. She’s got muscle and big bones, but she’s also let herself get pudgy.
Obviously I need a life. A boring Friday in the lab!
I couldnt` reconize her shes` a hot mess ! she still smokes? Loves` LINDS! but in this pix I didnt` know the story was about her.
@ OhMyMy – I believe I’m in charge of the betting pool this go round:
@ boo & I have each given her a week (7 days);
@ Hautie’s given her 10 days;
@ bluhare’s given her 14 days;
and we have some non-specifics, with a spread, like “under 10 days; under 2 weeks” and the like.
ALL PROCEEDS FROM BETTING POOL WILL GO TO PAYING FOR OUR NEXT CRACK TAILGATE PARTY. 😉