This story has everything: Mother Crackhead, medieval wenches, a shadowy billionaire, and a sex dungeon with a swing, shackles and stuffed bunnies. CB wants me to emphasize that Mother Crackhead (Dina Lohan) wasn’t technically a part of the sex dungeon scene, she was only the “head wench/hostess of honor” at some billionaire’s party where there just happened to be an unoccupied sex dungeon. My thoughts? Mother Crackhead probably offered her daughters (at a discount) to the billionaire for his dungeon.
Dina Lohan played Queen of the Hamptons Saturday night at the 15,000-square-foot Watermill castle of billionaire playboy Ivan Wilzig. In a medieval-style flowing dress, and a flowered veil, Lindsay Lohan’s mom even had a cadre of identically dressed young ladies-in-waiting who sat at her feet as she held court and flirted with Wilzig, a k a “Sir Ivan,” at his annual regally themed bash.
When a young party girl who’d taken the dress code for the fete less seriously passed, Queen Dina barked, “That’s not very medieval!”
Later, a Page Six reporter uncovered a hidden gem in the castle: a black room with a large swing chained to the ceiling, a cage with handcuffs, shackles and a slew of giant, stuffed bunnies. It seems the chamber is reserved for anointed subjects.
“Only the talent can come in here,” a staffer told us. When we asked where the talent was, he replied they were “coming later.” Egads!
Guests at the party included “The Book of Mormon” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
[From Page Six]
If you’d like to see a decent pic of Dina’s medieval garb, go here to Jezebel. Surprisingly, she doesn’t look inappropriate at all, and the costume manages to be both demure and cute. You’d think that a billionaire could afford to get a bigger celebrity to play hostess. You could rent Dina for a whole night with $20 and some cigs. Surely he could have gotten a Real Housewife or something!
By the way, rumors abound that Dina is going to be named one of the “celebrities” on this next season of Dancing With the Stars, which starts in the fall. Can you imagine how crazy that will be? Linnocent will show up all of the time, cracked out of her skull, squawking about how she was a ballerina. Epic.
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News & Fame.
Ugh…..if Mother Crackhead is on DWTS, that means the show has jumped the shark.
cold dead eyes.
DWTS invites celebrities/popular personalities, or those who were once known as a celebrity but Dina is none of the above so I ain’t buying it.
Dina was probably getting her pimping on, sorry …”managing” potential clients for LL at Sir Ivan’s Medieval Madness Birthday Bash
U know the ‘talent’ arriving ltr was Linnocent and sadly Ali!
Oh and I only just found out Dina is a natural redhead too!
There’s no way that DWTS would sign Dina without something in writing stating that Linnocent will make a certain amount of visits to the show on camera.
Disgusting bitch.Pay attention and help your daughter who is rapidly digging her own grave.Oh,my mistake..your in the hole shoveling twice as fast as she is.
You know they need to make a new word for when you reach the utmost pathetic level that your life can be reach. Cause this whole family is there. I think it should be called: Lohan. I will use it in a sentence. “Not only has my life spun out of control, and I am the laughing stock of the world, but I have now reached the lowest of plateaus, I am Lohan.”
Holy crow – how many times has she had her eyes done? There’s no skin left to snip away (ugh)!
What a weird story
@Bess
If that is true about LL being in the audience i will be watching.
lmao Thea…
reminds me of Spaceballs…”they’ve gone to plaid!”
we should TOTALLY start using that…”oh, he’s so Lohan.” LOVE IT!!!
Inneresting. I thought she was trying to get Cracksey on DWTS.
dina’s eyebrows are halfway up her head at this point.
How is it that some low-down skank like a Blohan gets invited to host a party in the Hampton’s while I (a very classy chick) cannot afford air-fare to get me there? 😉 (And can Pimp Mama White Oprah even blink at this point?)
@ Innocent – Oh, honey. Stop drinking the crack-aid. Seriously, put down the cup.
@ Bess
Your probably correct in that the show would want several ‘Lindsay’ appearances but heres the problem: Mother Crackhead can sign all the paperwork in the world guaranteeing Blohans crack-ass in the audience BUT Blohan does have a habit of NOT doing what she says she’s going to do. I can’t imagine that idiot sitting still for hours in the audience, the attention not on her. Keep in mind the attention will be on the DANCERS.
Remember the show tapes in the afternoon, except for the live show, so to get that twit crack-ready so early FOR HER will be a feat. I’ll believe it when I see it.
@Madisyn
Is that really true ?
I haven’t watched DWTS since Lil’ Kim and Derek were robbed.
@ Innocent – Allow me to offer up a few examples:
“I just want to get back to WORK” (meaning she’s going to Miami to NOT do the interview for which she was paid, and spent her time PARTYING – par usual; and shoot a “music video” where she’s playing a parody of herself);
“I am sober” (said with a serious face, as she downs wine during said conversation about her sobriety);
She feels “fulfilled” doing her community service (which she’s no longer doing);
I could go on, but I really don’t want to inflict carpel tunnel upon myself.
Seriously, put down the cup.
@ bellaluna, *mornin*
The crazy is baaaaaaack. It was a nice couple of months, wasn’t it? Steve Honig tell your clients mother to just. . . stop.
Thursday is the progress report. Can. not. wait!
P.S. Love the last comment. Spot on.
Guess the PR connection fizzled out. God, this woman is pathetic-and ugly!
Wow, that is some cracked-out, Illuminati sh!t. I can only guess who got worked over in the sex-sling.
Great post @ Bellaluna, you actually managed to silence Dina…um I mean Innocent!
@ Madisyn, is there a time on Thurs for progress report? Does Linnocent have to attend?
@Ruby Red Lips
Don’t know the time but no Lindsay doesn’t have to attend unless the Judge receives notice of a violation.
*Whispering*
You guys do realise that it loves this, right? It’s little inbred features contorted with glee. Thumbs smacking the keyboard every time you mention it’s name.
Don’t feed the troll.
@ Ruby Red
“@ Madisyn, is there a time on Thurs for progress report? Does Linnocent have to attend”?
I thought you were addressing me? Anyhoodle, yeah, what Dina said. As for the time, I haven’t seen anything printed. I’m going to stay glued here, TMZ, and RADAR as they should have something. TMZ had the last probation report, (very interesting, nothing we didn’t already know) so stay tuned.
Of course, at the end of the day, the probation report will probably have flagrant violations, even the probation department has recommended jail numerous times and NOTHING HAPPENS! So there you have it.
@ Madisyn & Ruby Red – And you did notice that Dina (I mean Innocent! Innocent! *smacks forehead*) didn’t address a single point in my comment, didn’t you? 😉 And Madisyn, please keep us alerted to the cracknanigan’s court on-goings. How else will we know when to prepare the crack-snacks for the tailgate? 😀 It’s been too long!
@ melancholy – Yes, but it’s so fun to poke the crackie!
I’ll give Dina that the dress she wore was at least… much better than I expected it to be. (Thank GOD & all that’s holy that there’s no cleavage.) But in that picture, my eyes were drawn *immediately* to her talons. They’re certainly showing her age.
…Does anyone else find it strange that the creators of the ‘Book of Mormon‘ attended a party where there was a sex dungeon complete with bondage gear? One that was to be used by ‘the talent’ sometime during the party? =/
@Bellaluna
hehehehe 😀
Well, they are also the creators of South Park. 🙂
What an ugly hag. And I agree with #1 if Dina is on DWTS, that show has jumped the shark.
I’ve never watched DWTS and it aggravates me to no end when it slops over into Castle.
If Dina gets cast on it I’m sure it will be a huge bump for her ego but she won’t be doing Lindsay any favors.
What is her celebrity status based on? She’s the dysfunctional momager of the “troubled star” Lindsay Lohan. That’s all people will focus on. With Dina in LA there will just be more papparazzi drama with Lindsay.
The meltdown continues.
All right all you TAILGATERS, get your food/drink ready, its time. . . AGAIN!
I’m getting the ingredients for my Seven Layer Lohan Dip ready as we speak.
I’m not getting excited, just yet. I did that last time, and was actually pissed off and sort of depressed. I thought for sure she’d go to jail. I think I’ve learned my lesson. According to RADAR, the City Attorney is “concerned” about the report. I’ll bet this twit just hasn’t been going to her CS or hasn’t attended her shop lifters class yet. Her probation isn’t over, so we’ll see.
@Madisyn- Okay, I’m here. I think it might have something to do with the gun. As well as not going to her CS.
The Shoplifters Class is BS to be quite honest. @Innocent posts as Nicole over on TMZ, and she said that Ali or Eleanor could take it for Lindsay, as it’s an online course, and that’s true. She should have been made to attend physical classes just like AA or NA, but of course, she’d never show up.
I’m ready for the party ladies!
@ Madisyn – Okay, here we go! Sound the TCC alert! *rubs hands together like movie villain* I’ll start marinating the watermelon in vodka – those vodka watermelon balls don’t make themselves!
According to Radar, Linnocent’s got to put in an appearance. Will she be late? Will she be early? OH, HOO, this is just TOO GOOD!
@ Miss Diagnosed – As I posted earlier on a different thread: Isn’t a “shoplifter’s alternative” just to pay for stuff? Is a class really necessary?
@ Miss Diagnosed, Oh, I forgot about the gun. That could account for the “concerned” portion of the confirmation. I’m just worried no one else, especially TMZ has posted anything regarding this as of this comment.
Wouldn’t it be brilliant, if while Blohan is in court, this being Blohan not being that bright, the sheriff’s department seacrhes her home and actually finds a handgun? Just thinking about this is making me giddy.
Your telling me, this shoplifters BS class is an online class? Figures. Again, she doesn’t have to appear somewhere where she should. Your correct, Dina, Ali, or Elinor will complete this class, while I wonder why it hasn’t already been done. Of course we don’t know that for sure.
I know ‘Nicole’ at TMZ is Dina, just like we know ‘Innocent’ is Dina here. Blohan’s ‘dad’ posts over there under 2 or 3 names, you know the ones, the ones that praise her and talk about how ‘beautiful’ and ‘she can do no wrong’ she is posts.
Oh look, over at TMZ it says Daniel Baldwins wife was sentenced to 10 days for drinking while on probation. Oh and has to wear a SCRAM indefinetely. How many times has Blohan violated probation, whether for failed drug tests, alcohol tests, beating a BF worker, robbing a jewelry store ALL WHILE ON PROBATION and NOTHING HAPPENS!
This is justice for Blohan, I guess we’ll have to suck it up.
@ Madisyn – Or an Uzi? Because, you know, nothing’s too good or too big or too much for Blohan.
@Madisyn-I try not to get my hopes up anymore with St. Linnocent, I really don’t. Regarding the gun, her publicist or Holley has probably already thrown it in the ocean by now, so any hopes of it being found in a search are long gone. Although, left to her own devices she would have just stayed with the denial and left the gun where it was, she’s that bold now. Thank you California Judicial System!
This must be so routine now. I picture her sitting at home the night before a court date, with a cup of “tea”, practicing tongue twisters, in case the Judge calls her into chambers for a “scolding.” Sad, when going to court becomes part of your regular schedule, like going to the gym or the grocery store.
@bellaluna- Exactly. Steal it or pay for it. Can I have my certificate now since I’ve just completed the course.
@ Miss Diagnosed – *hands over certificate, shakes hand* You may now turn your tassel. Congrats! 😀
And this is ALSO an online course! Now where’s that tuition payment? (Crack and vodka not accepted. Well, okay, the vodka.)
@ bellaluna *mornin*
Where is our Blohan story from Kaiser? RADAR is disappointingly saying the reason this twits sorry ass is being brought back into court is only to look at her ‘partying’ during house arrest. Thats it. Boring. Nothing will happen, as usual.
I have a feeling this is going to only be a mini crack tailgate, but a mini is better than none.
Morning ladies! Watched the TMZ live feed. Nothing as usual. She’s done 4 days of CS in 2 months? Good Lord! She’s never going to finish in a year at that pace. Hahahahaha!
@ Miss Diagnosed and bellaluna
I watched it on court TV as the TMZ feed keep starting and stopping every few seconds, very frustrating.
Anywho, what did you, bellaluna or myself do to NOT get a Blohan post this morning?
In the infamous Seinfeld episode, The Soup Nazi’s voice “NO POST FOR YOU”!
@Madisyn- I know! We’ve all been very good. So disappointing!
Love that Sautner picked August 11th as the deadline for Lindsay to find psychological help. Ha! That’s my Kentucky Crack Races date for her to have her next meltdown. Wheeeeeeeee!
Oh, and @bellaluna, I spent all my Shoplifter’s Alternative tuition money ON crack and vodka. Sorry! I can pay you with some awesome stuff I stole though.
Miss Diagnosed
Did you notice that the minute the prosecution wanted a “finacial review” of Blohans finances, she told Holley it wouldn’t be a problem paying for individual conseling? She dropped that lie like a hot crack pipe.
Now, no appearance on Aug. 11 but must appear on Oct. 19th, so lets schedule a crack tailgate for that date, if not sooner.
What I found interesting is how she doesn’t have health insurance. Funny how she can ‘work’ all the time but doesn’t have SAG insurance. Know why? Because NO ONE WILL PUT HER IN THEIR MOVIE. I highly doubt her CAMEO in the Gotti film will change that.
Oh, the probation report is up on TMZ, can’t wait to read. You know what I find absolutely beyond disgusting? The probation officer AND the City Attorney both wanted her probation violated and A G A I N the judge just shot it down. AGAIN!
I think I’m in awe of Blohan, even the “Teflon Don” himself could not get out of trouble the number of times this twit has.
EDIT: Even I concede after reading the 3 reasons she was hauled back into court, even I, would not have violated FOR THOSE 3 REASONS ALONE! Of course, she should have went to jail YEARS AGO for more flagrant violations.
@Madisyn- We have a post up about St. Linnocent on page 1. Come to the party! Yay!
I love the way it’s casually mentioned Matt Stone and Trey Parker were there. Well because as some of us know the rumors are true they aren’t faking it. Producers and directors always fly under the radar, that’s where the real freak flags fly. Too funny.