“Who does Gwyneth have to bang to get a Coldplay CD?” links

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Oh, Gwyneth. Try banging your husband, maybe that will work? [LaineyGossip]
Meatloaf is a mess. Remember how Angelina Jolie was in one of his videos? [Dlisted]
CATS! Kittehs. What to do with all of these kittehs. [Gawker]
Review of Crazy, Stupid, Love. I‘m seeing it this weekend. [Pajiba]
Rachel Zoe‘s son has a better wardrobe than all of us combined. [Pop Sugar]
Terry Richardson released some of his old, crackie Amy Winehouse pics. [Yeeeah]
Jennifer Lopez doesn‘t look thrilled with her costume. At all. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kirstie Alley calls out David Letterman to his face. [Jezebel]
Shiloh‘s Montenegro-style vest was Stella McCartney! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Linnocent: born druggie, or MADE druggie? [PopBytes]
I don‘t like Mila Kunis‘s dress here either. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Olivia Wilde has CGI nipples. [The Blemish]
Rob Kardashian is going to be on DWTS? [LimeLife]
Michael Douglas is still smoking. [ICYDK]
Hello, Isaiah Mustafa. You look nice. [A Socialite Life]
I LOVE the implosion of Glee. Cast and creator are all d-bags. [Amy Grindhouse]
The Beckhams want one more baby! [The Celebrity Café]
The summer of breakups! Who‘s next? Garner & Affleck? Goop & Chris? [Celebuzz]

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38 Responses to ““Who does Gwyneth have to bang to get a Coldplay CD?” links”

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  1. grayze says:

    I always imagine Goopy being one of those people who flinches a little whenever a colloquialism like “bang” comes out of her mouth. Or the type of person who has to really *try* to say profanity because it doesn’t come naturally.

  2. brin says:

    Oh Goop…looks like the writing is on the wall.

  3. Quest says:

    (@_@) 8)

  4. *Roxy* says:

    Mila received a sort of backlash (on several sites) after the Moscow premier (where Kaiser pointed out that she looked douchey).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a4CSXFb5EQ&feature=related=1

    It’s in Russian. I’ll try to translate.
    A guy in the crowd:
    – Wow so serious and focused, why not smiling?
    A girl asking:
    – Can I take a picture with you?
    Mila:
    – You can, if my bodyguard won’t move you [Is that a fan or a piece of furniture?]
    People didn’t seem to like this attitude.
    She might be tired but it wouldn’t hurt to put a smile on and take some pics.
    Justin did take pictures with the fans and signed pics. Here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD7-nQvxI_U&feature=related

  5. RHONYC says:

    *giggling under my breath*

    @ Quest

    exxxaaactly. she gets the wide eye on that one.

    wonder if she’s got a Goop recipe to make a husband regain interest?

    burn. 😆

  6. Rhiley says:

    I bet Gwen has probably banged a set of drums more times than her husband, but I don’t like thinking about her banging either one.

  7. Sigh. says:

    @ grayze

    or giggle insanely at her own naughtiness

    or pause for a quick word of prayer before saying it

    or make sure there’s an insufferable silence so everyone can pick up on how “hardcore” Lady Goop can be

    because cussing is just so damn…ugh…”common”

  8. Runs with Scissors says:

    Ok, here’s my prediction: *puts on turban like Johnny Carson*

    Within the next 5 years, Ben Affleck will leave Jennifer Garner (after she has this next baby they haven’t confirmed).

    Gwen and Chris will break up (finally).

    Everyone will wonder if Ben will launch Bennifer 2.0 with J-Lo (AKA Jenny on the clock) but that won’t happen despite her best efforts.

    Ben and Gwen will get back together and be christened “Bwen.” It will be awful.

    *takes off turban*

  9. grayze says:

    @ sigh

    Yes, all of those! Especially that third one. I can see it so clearly in my head, the pause before the profanity-bomb drops.

    Because vulgar profanities, you know, are exactly what the peasants respond to. They’re rough, crass folk. It’s the only language they can *understand*.

  10. CC says:

    Say what you will about Glee, but not ALL the cast are D-Bags. Jane Lynch, Cory Montheith, and Chris Colfer all seem like nice people.

  11. Truthful says:

    is she–on the sly,trying to prepare us for the inevitable???

    sounds like she is horny and mean….ewww

  12. Hellen says:

    She’s gonna start ending every condescending pronouncement with “Bang” instead of “Namaste”.

  13. lucy2 says:

    Oh Goop, no one cares.

    I really want to see Crazy Stupid Love. Have heard it’s supposed to be really good.
    I don’t think the whole cast of Glee is awful, I still like some of them, but there definitely seems to be some implosion happening there. Typical Ryan Murphy show.

  14. KLO says:

    Runs With Scissors, Bwen actually sounds awesome.
    😀

  15. Denise says:

    I guess that now that she hangs with the hip rappers and the glee kids, she has to be cool and relevant. Frankly, it was crude and unfunny. I mean, really, Goop; buy it when it is released. How about that?

  16. AquaticMusings says:

    Did anyone know/care that Coldplay has/had/will have a new CD coming out? Meh. So circa 2000-2006. They had a good run. Maybe the same can be said for Gwyneth and Chris. She may seem cold and is definitely uncouth, despite her desperate attempts to appear cultured, etc, but she does seem to be a good mother. I don’t blame someone for wanting attention from their husband. It must be sad. Even sadder that he is so disgusting/repulsive.

  17. original kate says:

    goop said “bang” on twitter. she’s so hardcore.

    shut up, goop. i mean, really.

  18. Rita says:

    @RunswithScissors

    *giggles* at your name and your turban.

  19. mia girl says:

    @AquaticMusings
    Yup. I think this tweet is actually a ploy to drum up (no pun intended) interest in the Coldplay CD.

    Like they want us to believe “wow, if his wife can’t even get an advanced copy and they are keeping it that much under wrap, well then it must be the hotest thing around!”

  20. lann says:

    I still don’t believe they are a couple.
    I don’t think it’s possible for her to screw Martin to get a CD.

  21. kibbles says:

    Gwyneth is trying to be funny and she’s failing miserably. Why joke about getting banged to get a Coldplay album when most of the gossip surrounding her marriage is that she and Chris Martin are no longer banging and Martin is in fact banging other women while he is on tour and she is in another country filming a movie/cooking show/or Glee episode?

  22. Catherine says:

    I’m sure Gwyneth meant to be funny but honestly, that isn’t something you post publicly when you are supposed to have class.

  23. Violet says:

    @grayze

    You’re kidding, right? This woman called her deceased granny a c*nt on national television!

    In any case, it’s a bit sad because she’s not actually joking. It’s an open secret that her marriage has been in name only for years now.

  24. CJ says:

    I don’t get the Chris hate – he always comes across really cool.

  25. trh says:

    As Muhammed Ali used to say, the funniest joke is the truth. #ironyfail

  26. Charlotte says:

    She could trade a can of cheese for a CD on the street…

  27. hatsumomo says:

    Oh damn, I saw those photos of Amy. Im missing her music all over again. And I noticed, for a chick with such small boobs, she sure loved layering her bras and cami’s. If you look at past pics of her, she wears at least three. Id die from suffocation if I ever wore that many!

  28. rudypatudie says:

    crude.

  29. bros says:

    @ roxy

    maybe mila doesnt like being in russia. she’s jewish and from the ukraine, so being in moscow might put her in a bad mood, considering her family history.

  30. Cassie says:

    I completely agree with Grayze; Gwenyth seems to be one of those despised people who spatter vulgarities for the sole purpose of being perceived as “edgy”. It’s as if she’s trying too hard.

  31. Grayze says:

    @ Violet

    I’m not saying she doesn’t use profanity; she does, and I’m familiar with that incident. I’m just saying that, when I hear her use it, it sounds the same way it does when I hear my fifteen-year-old niece use it (always when her mom isn’t looking, of course); they both want to come across all badass and hardcore. I get a kick out of it.

    @ Cassie – yeah, it’s the try, exactly!

  32. Strawberrygirl says:

    @CJ Yeah, I don’t get it either. I know MULTIPLE people who have met him on more than one occasion and he couldn’t have been sweeter. I can’t speak on his relationship with his wife, but he’s amazing when it comes to his fans.

  33. *Roxy* says:

    “Maybe mila doesnt like being in russia. she’s jewish and from the ukraine, so being in moscow might put her in a bad mood, considering her family history.”

    Well if so – it is understandable. But fans have nothing to do with it. I was one. But not sure anymore. The whole situation made me think that she was just acting friendly in interviews. But she is a different person in reality. Not that pleasant. I don’t want to check it. I hope it was my last celebrity crash.

  34. Carolyn says:

    Is Goop trying to remind us that she’s married, that she has sex and that Coldplay are relevant? She wouldn’t have stopped so low to do this tweet herself. I mean really, who falls for these fake PR tweets anyways?

  35. Jenni says:

    @roxy – thanks for the translation. if you can’t sign autographs and meet fans in a friendly way, why even do it? no eye contact, cranky vibe, and she only smiles after dissing the female fan, wth. THEN she finds reason to smile– to herself. like haha i dissed a fan. to be fair, maybe she had the flu or something. or maybe there’s a story associated with that fan that we don’t know about. but the vibe was very mean girl/”i’m so too good for any of you”.

  36. Vesper says:

    What I get from her twitter is that she is carrying around a lot of hostility towards her husband. It seems like she wanted to lash out at him and, since he seems so emotionally unavailable, complaining in a public forum would likely be a more effective way to get a reaction. Regardless, it sounds like she is just about done with the marriage and beyond trying to hide it.

  37. Jaana says:

    I think her husband is the reason she joined Twitter

  38. The Bobster says:

    Any guy who bangs her has to worry about getting frostbite.