Kim Kardashian’s single “Jam (Turn It Up)” has a greasy music video too

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A while ago, Kim Kardashian recorded a song called “Jam (Turn It Up)” which was produced by The Dream. The single was… awful. Kim really has no discernable talent – she can’ sing, she can’t dance, she can’t act. All she can do is jack her cat-face and push her ass out. Which brings me to the music video for the single. Now, I think Kim filmed the music video early this year – like, February. Gee, I wonder why this thing was buried for months? Oh, right. Here’s the “teaser” clip of the music video:

Um, did we really need to see the ass shot of Kim crawling on the ground? Did her ass need to be so shiny?!? The camera came in so close, I felt like Kim’s gynecologist (that poor bastard).

You know what I just realized? This is, like, my epiphany of the day: Kim Kardashian is not sexy in the least. You can dip her in a vat of baby oil, you can jack her cat-face with Botox and fillers, you can throw a mountain of makeup on her, you can put her in poorly-cut vinyl, but at the end of the day, Kim has the sex appeal of a wet noodle. Yikes.

In case you were just dying to hear the complete single:

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Photos courtesy of Kim’s Celebuzz site.

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52 Responses to “Kim Kardashian’s single “Jam (Turn It Up)” has a greasy music video too”

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  1. aenflex says:

    Correct…no sex appeal whatsoever. Life’s gift to us.

  2. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    The ass shot will make the boys happy. Good gwad that was gratuitous. Why did Kim let them do her like that? She was totally porn star, not sexy.

  3. RocketMerry says:

    Ew.
    I agree, Love Angelina; the entire clip looked like a cheap porn movie. Not sexy in the least. Ew.

  4. ladybert62 says:

    I watched part of that video – gross gross gross – I need a shower. She is such a waste of space and she seems to think she has some sort of talent – as a porn star is my conclusion.

  5. Phoenix says:

    This was filmed so long ago. I just assumed that because the single was so bad that she wouldn’t bother releasing it. I remember one of the Kardashians said “I don’t think she’ll be releasing it it’s for her eyes only” (paraphrasing). Obviously this wasn’t the case because the Kardashians aren’t just going to throw money away on a director and music video. Jeez! Anyway, this is disgusting and the perfect accompaniment to her sex tape.

  6. Riana says:

    Massages temples…sigh.

    Kim. Tasteless. Ass. Shiny. Minutes…wasted.

    Now I gotta go gag.

  7. Roma says:

    Wasn’t it when Paris started to release music videos that her weak grip on fame finally loosened? Same with Heidi?

    Perhaps this is the beginning of the Kardashian Krumble from fame?

  8. grace says:

    Of course she has talent. She can “act” her ass and vadge off in porn movies. Please, give her credit for that.

  9. X says:

    Feel compelled to post. I am not a fan of Kim in the least. I have never watched the reality tv show, I haven’t watched the music video you have posted, but I do read through every celebitchy post about her. I have seen enough pictures to agree that she has ‘jacked’ her face, but I still think she is quite a striking young woman. Without the ‘plastic’ she would have been gorgeous. But with it, by no means has she turned into an ugly duckling or even average. She is still striking.

  10. Quest says:

    I stress that I am not and will not watch that video, not now not ever and for the love of my stomach contents.

    Based on the comments above seeing Kim star in one porn video was enough

  11. heylee says:

    “epiphany of the day: Kim Kardashian is not sexy in the least”

    I second this notion Kaiser!

    I know that people have mixed feelings about Cami Diaz, but the woman is sexy because she knows who she is. Kim doesn’t exude one once of the self-confidence that Cami D does, because Kim is trying to be whatever the hell *we* her adoring fans want her to be!

    Not sexy, not cute, not interesting. Lets hope her star fades fast, though that is probably not going to happen!

  12. corey says:

    I actually wanted to like this song, just so I could have something nice to say about KK as I’ve been spitting a lot of haterade her way as of late, but I have to agree with everyting Kaiser said, it really is awful. And no she has no sex appeal,swagger or rhythm as was proven when she was on DWTS.

  13. Ew. Stick to modeling, Honey,cuz this music career isn’t getting better.

  14. gee_gee says:

    I’m kind of mad that I watched that. I’m angry at Kaiser and I’m angry at myself. I cannot un-see or un-hear that.

    I shall punish myself by not clicking on any Kardashian related links for the remainder of the year.

    That’ll teach me.

  15. Diane says:

    She’d make a good hooker.

  16. Morgan says:

    I love her infectious energy in this clip, she doesn’t at all look bored or like she’d rather be elsewhere

  17. Sillyone says:

    @Quest, I am in agreement. I love myself to much to put myself through that.

  18. Tristyn says:

    NOT SEXY !!!! You can put lipstick on a pig (guess what??? It’s still a PIG !!! … Please go away …

  19. cmc says:

    Yeah, I’m not watching it…but I fully disagree on the “Kim is not sexy” thing. Her body is the literal definition of sexy and she exudes sex appeal. That is, however, the only good thing she has going for her (besides having an evil genius mother that turned a sex tape into an impressive money-making empire).

  20. Skins says:

    What I can’t understand about the whole catface thing is who exactly are her “fans” people watching the show, buying her stuff, making her all of this money. Reading all of the posts about her everybody seems to agree that she is a skanky no-talent catfaced pig, yet she is making all of this money from people buying her products. People, there are much better things to spend your hard earned money on.

  21. fancyamazon says:

    @cmc That is exactly why she has no sex appeal, actually. She is like a caricature of sexy…like that Courtney thing. When you are “on” all the time, it becomes tiresome. A little mystery would go a long way.

  22. Runs with Scissors says:

    She is one of those people who makes me feel so isolated from the rest of America, who apparently love and are fascinated by her.

    I just do not understand her popularity.

  23. itstrue says:

    I’m pretty sure it’s the Bratz doll generation buying all the Kimmy Krap. I don’t believe that adult women are supporting her. Also, the close up of her licking her lips was GROSS!!

  24. Tammi says:

    She looks gross not sexy at all.

  25. jover says:

    Good point roma and guiseppi giraffe she’s terrible even as a model; think of the supermodels of the 80s/90s – linda, naomi,christy, yasmeen, etc. beauty, class, glamour – katface has none of these qualities. When this song first came out, conan had a great skit on it. Katface painted on pigs with conan and andy shooting balls at the stacked pigs simulating the angry birds game. Great skit and conan summed this farce up in three words Why GOd Why!

  26. Usedtoitall says:

    Am a man and don’t think she is sexy. If her body was real I would think she was sexy but its fake. Now I do think Beyonce is sexy because her body is all natural..

  27. HotLatino says:

    She IS the definition of sexy, she’s exactly what straight men want, I’m not straight but I know. She might be dumb and shallow to boot but she’s sex on legs, she’s stunning!

  28. Usedtoitall says:

    @HotLatino
    Am st8 and she is not sexy to me. Also i’ve seen the tape and was pretty turned off by her since than.

  29. Ana says:

    Even Paris did it better…
    I am ashamed to say that back in the day I liked Paris’ album

  30. Lisa Chu says:

    she is probrably only famous because of her body – cough butt implants cough.
    what are her talents? lol

  31. Swan Jacca says:

    I’ve seen her very first “video” and that was definitely NOT “baby oil” she was covered in.

  32. HotLatino says:

    @usedtoitall str8 and reading celebs gossip? Yeah riiiiiiiiight lol

  33. oh dear says:

    couldnt watch the video, the screen caps were enough. the disturbing thing about those is, theyre money shots waiting to happen ewwww

    cant believe how trashy this woman is :S once a porn star, always a …

  34. Usedtoitall says:

    @ HotLatino At work don’t have anything else to do. Reality she is not sexy. She is porn sexy..one night sexy… Not wife be my girl sexy. Real talk.

  35. Usedtoitall says:

    @HotLatino
    Also i’m black more into black women. They have what she has natural. Don’t like the fact that so many black women are shaped like her but they don’t get th spot light. She bought what most black women have. I will give it to that Demi L. girl though. She is fine!!

  36. Just Sayin says:

    I think the 16 year old bride who married the old guy has more talent and thats a scary thought. Atleast she didn’t look bored to death in her video. Lol…

  37. hatsumomo says:

    Aside from the stupid lyrics and bad auto-tuning, Im just sad at this video. How low must your self-esteem be to crawl around on the floor with a camera half up your ass just to be accepted? Or get attention? I know she was trying to aim for super sexy but its a great big fail for all the right reasons. The video clearly sheds light on the fact that falling back on her porn star facade is all she really has. If she had made a video of her getting ready with a gaggle of girlfriends and they’re all dancing in a club then it prolly would’ve been more acceptable. But this?! I dont feel my usual vitriol
    , I just feel sad for her. Maybe Im having an ‘off’ day.

  38. gg says:

    WHY is this trick attempting to do “music”? Good god, go away already you talentless trophy wife!

  39. sam says:

    I’m mad that the producers thought that this was good enough to release. Does no-one filter out the bad quality stuff anymore?

    Oh wait – not when their is money involved.

  40. sam says:

    Apologies for my spelling! *there is money involved

  41. Amy says:

    She sounds like Rebecca Black.

  42. Lindy says:

    Uh, so, did she vajazzle her *eyelids*?! WTF?!

  43. jen says:

    Ho Derek.

  44. sassy says:

    I’m rereading a book called “Female Chauvanist Pigs” and there’s chapters about girls wanting to copy Paris Hilton, who was popular at that time. Interesting to me how young women look up to people like Kim K and the rest of her ilk. These people want to be used sexually. Not be in charge with their sexuality. But used. Have you guys seen the tv spot advertising Kim K’s show? She has wind blown hair and her mouth is open in a way like she wants something inserted into it. With her head slowly going back and forth. It’s not about her asserting her intelligence and sexual desires. It’s about what men want. And men using her as basically as a recepticle. Why are young women drawn to people like her? Just so confusing to me. God. I hate her. And whores like her. Sorry, I’m hormonal. But I still hate her. Can’t wait until no one gives a shit for her, like Paris.

  45. Camille says:

    You nailed it Kaiser.

    This chick has zero charisma and no sex appeal.

    @hatsumomo: Excellent comment. I agree with you.
    Although I don’t feel any sympathy for KK at all though. She wants to be famous. Well at least her mother told her she wants to be.

  46. Sohpie says:

    @Kaiser: this is something you should report:

    http://www.tmz.com/2011/08/29/kim-kardashian-sex-tape-buyer-market-lawyer-letter-vivid-entertainment/

    Apparently it might be Kardashians that want to buy it. Lol it is hilarious. She sold it herself but now wants to take it out off the market because she already became famous and she does not need it anymore. What a whore.

  47. lucy2 says:

    OMG why did I watch that? My eyes, my eyes!
    That was so bad it was funny, between the ass shot and the robot “singing”.

  48. Kris says:

    This is concrete proof that today’s music bizz has LOST their minds. This is COMPLETE GARBAGE!!! Where are the REAL musicians today??? You can’t make a no talent whore into a musician. This is beyond CRAP. I hope she goes away forever… and all her media whore family.

  49. bill says:

    yo hinckley…..fresh target here…she is disgusting and why does she repeat the same lines over and over…geez

  50. Abby says:

    That top pic of Kim makes me think of Rick James from the 70’s.

  51. Alynn says:

    She is talking not singing! So embarrassing kim!