I’m a bit surprised that Jessica Simpson isn’t in New York for Fashion Week right now. Isn’t she the big fashion empire girl with nearly a billion dollars in sales? Surely, she would be at Fashion Week to see what the designers are doing this year. But no, she’s stayed in LA, and last night she and Eric were photographed leaving Mastro’s. What’s the policy on wearing jean cutoffs to a nice restaurant? Well, it’s Jessica Simpson. What is the restaurant going to do, kick her out for wearing booty shorts and farting everywhere? Business is business. And Jessica orders a lot of food and she tips well.

By the way, did you hear about Jessica’s obsessed fan who actually wrote a book about their nonexistent affair? Oh, JOHN MAYER. So obvious.

An obsessed fan who has tried to contact Jessica Simpson for years has taken it to a whole new level — writing a book about their alleged affair … despite the fact that they’ve never met.

Sources close to Simpson tell TMZ they have been dealing with Marce William Burchell, for years. We’re told her security team has a profile on him and they are aware he is now selling a book online.

The 30 page paperback has the catchy title, “The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson’s 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man- her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True Story Jessica Simpson Seduction of A Married Man (Volume 1)” … and sells on Amazon.com for $29.99.

According to our sources, Burchell had puppies sent to her home when her beloved Daisy went missing and once got a hold of Jess’ phone number. His calls and texts forced her to eventually change it.

We contacted Burchell … and part of his 1,732 word response was, “This book was not written to hurt her, but was written as my only way to heal emotionally from the severe trauma and pain she put me through by her heartless cruel treatment of me.”

Burchell also wants to challenge Jess’ fiance Eric Johnson to a marathon — winner gets to marry Jessica.

We’re told Jessica has not contacted police … yet. Her reps had no comment.

[From TMZ]

It really does sound like John Mayer, doesn’t it? Hmmm…

But yes, once you get past the funny stuff (“True Story Jessica Simpson Seduction of A Married Man Volume 1”), it’s actually sad and crazy. I still got a little giggle though. I mean… it’s Farty McMallHair! And this guy has latched onto her.

Also, Jessica’s little sister Ashlee just gave an interview to E! News about how she and Jess are going to go a clothing line together: “We have a teen line that we’ve been working on together that’s launching in October, It’s going to be in Macy’s. It’s so fun to work together! It’s a family show…it’s fun to have the 15-year-olds come in and dress them up.” CB previously reported that Ashlee & Jess were screaming and fighting over the line, but I guess not. Ashlee also said that she doesn’t know any details about Jessica’s wedding to Eric. Interesting. I’m fascinated with the idea that Jessica isn’t pushing for a wedding. It’s almost like… she realizes Eric is a loser.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Fame.