Before jumping into this story, I just want to make it clear that home invasion is not a laughing matter. Luckily, I haven’t ever lived through it, although my old apartment was once robbed while I was away at law school classes for the day. It happened in a bad neighborhood where lots of homes were broken into during a relatively short period of time, and the two guys (who were later arrested while trying to cash one of my blank checks) tore the place up while (presumably) looking for valuables, drugs, or weapons. The entire thing was horrifying for me simply by virtue of them being in my space, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be at home when someone makes their uninvited entrance.

While promoting Trespass at TIFF, however, Nicolas Cage, has revealed that he experienced a home invasion of his own a few years ago. Somehow, Nic’s story is really weird though, and I have to resist the urge to stifle a giggle because of the details. Apparently, Nic woke up in the middle of the night to see a naked guy standing in his bedroom while holding a Fudgsicle. It’s almost like because it’s Nic Cage, the story has to be the most bizarre thing one can imagine, right? In fact, the only reason I’m certain that this guy wasn’t just his crazy son, Weston, showing up to say hello to dear old dad is because no roundhouse kicks were mentioned in the story. I know, I’m a jerk. Really, this is something that no one would never want to live through:

For actor Nicolas Cage, making the new thriller movie Trespass hit close to home.

Cage, at the Toronto film festival along with director Joel Schumacher promoting the film about a home invasion, said that he has actually lived through the nightmare in real life.

“It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgsicle in front of my bed,” he told reporters on Wednesday.

“I know it sounds funny … but it was horrifying.”

A Fudgsicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.

Cage said the ordeal ended after he talked the man out of the house and police arrived. He did not press charges, as the man had mental problems, but Cage, who now lives in Nassau, Bahamas, said he could not stay in the house after that.

In Trespass, which is scheduled for release in October, thieves con their way into the opulent mansion where Cage’s character lives with his unhappy wife (played by Nicole Kidman) and their daughter.

The family is held for ransom and the movie follows a path of twists and turns as negotiations with the intruders ensue.

Schumacher, who earlier cast Cage in his film 8MM, and Kidman in Batman Forever, said Trespass is also about extremes between the rich and the poor in America.

“It’s a class warfare movie too, about the haves and the have-nots.”

The diamond-dealing Cage character and one of the invaders are two versions of the same man, in that they have both “overreached to have their share of what used to be called The American Dream,” Schumacher said.

[From Reuters]

Cage is actually fortunate in a sense — if you have to experience a home invasion, it’s inarguably preferable to experience the mentally-ill, “Fudgsicle” variety rather than a sociopath with a gun. Of course, one ideally never has to experience either of these scenarios, but I’d be willing to be that Nic has not eaten nor stored a Fudgsicle in his house since this incident took place.

As for Trespass, the trailer and poster for the movie pretty much rule out watchability, and it’s also discouraging that Schumacher (he of the ubiquitous bat nipples) felt the need to point out the film’s political message. Yes, suspenseful and horrific movies often go the sociopolitical route, but that’s supposed to be a more subtle aspect that one reflects upon after watching a movie as opposed to what pulls people into the theater. I think the best home invasion movie that I’ve seen lately was The Strangers, and it nearly made me pee my pants in the theater, which is a good thing in a sense, unlike the impression given by the promotional material for Traspass. I’m not even sure why they’ve bothered to screen the film at TIFF either when it’s only scheduled for a two-week run in theaters, which will be followed by an immediate DVD release.

Also, here’s a photo of Nic, his wife Alice Kim, and son Kal-El in London on July 11 of this year. Although Star claimed that Nic and Alice were headed for divorce and he was already trolling for strange, I guess they decided to stay together?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, and All Movie Photo