It’s hard to keep up with all the stories about Kim Kardashian’s show wedding, but I’ll make a half assed attempt by going through our in-no-way exhaustive archives. Actually, now that I’m looking at the stories it’s quite simple and follows a pattern that mimics the typical tabloid cycle of a “celebrity” relationship, except it goes by in days instead of months and years. 1) Kim and Kris got married, 2) Then they had a blissful honeymoon, 3) Then they were rumored to be having relationship trouble, 4) Now they’re rumored to be pregnant. This will play out with a pregnancy, if possible, a baby for Kim and Kris, then additional relationship trouble, Kris cheating, a divorce and a series of stories about triumphant single mom Kim. Given the timeline so far, I guess we can expect this all to happen in the next two months, biology be damned. The kid will be about five by then but it won’t even be 2012 yet.

So here’s part of OK’s story that Kim is pregnant. She’s not and this is just speculative, like so many other OK fake pregnancy stories in the past that I can’t be bothered to recap. (OK, here’s a highlights post on the ones they’ve done of Jennifer Aniston, since I’m anal like that.)

Kim Kardashian has a lot going on: She’s newly married to Kris Humphries and still figuring out how to be a Mrs.; she’s adjusting to a new town after moving to NYC; and now, there may be another big change. “Kim said she’s late,” a pal tells OK!. “She was supposed to get her period and didn’t.” OK! has the scoop in this week’s new issue, on sale everywhere Thursday!

It’s a welcome development for the star.

“Kim always thought she’d have several kids by age 30, so in her mind she’s behind schedule.” says an insider.

In fact, says the source, Kim is doing tons of stuff that makes those around her wonder if she already has a secret. “Kim’s been going through all the K names,” says the insider. “She even has a baby-name book and looks up the meaning of each one.”

But that’s not all. OK! also noticed a few of the other reasons why everyone thinks Kim has baby on the way.

[From OK!]

If Kim was pregnant she wouldn’t be going with low budget OK!, she would sell that exclusive, and a bunch of disgusting details about how pukey she’s feeling and how her bowel movements have changed, to either People or US if they would meet her price. This is the girl who sold photos of her engagement. She is a hustler of the highest order.

That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s pregnant. That’s the next step for her and she’s talked about babies enough times.

Here’s Kim out in New York last night. What THE HELL is she wearing? Pleather pants complete with camel tow, a bra with a fringed dickie over it and a loose draped jacket. She looks more ridiculous than is even usual for her. Even the chick next to her with the pink ‘fro can’t stand Kim’s look.

With Kris on 9/12. She looks like a sex doll here.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News, WENN.com