I’m one of those people who gets very squeamish and grossed out when someone launches into a tale of medical drama. I can handle and all kinds of fictionalized violence (thus, my love of crime stories and cop shows), but whenever someone starts talking about broken bone this or distended uterus that, I need to take a deep breath and think about kittens. Example: I was waiting at the mechanic’s, and I was listening to this woman’s one-sided conversation on the phone. She was going on and on about how her friend had broken her leg in four places. I got so nauseous, I had to leave the room. It was like I can actually FEEL these ailments, and I swear that my own leg felt broken for a good 15 minutes.
So, you can just imagine how I am about women describing their birth stories. I can just do without them, honestly. I don’t begrudge you your birth stories, and I’m sure you’re all very brave and strong and wonderful but SHUTUP. Whatever you describe, I can FEEL it. So, with that introduction, here’s Jessica Alba’s story about the birth of her second child, Haven Garner:
THERE is often a brief spell of domestic chaos following a new arrival, but when Jessica Alba and Cash Warren invite us into their LA home, we’re greeted by a scene of near zen-like calm. Here the couple introduce six-week-old Haven Garner Warren, younger sister to daughter Honor (3).
And Jessica Alba and Cash – who met eight years ago on the set of Fantastic Four – chat to us about Haven’s unusual birth, living in a female-dominated household, and keeping their romance alive.
“When Haven was born, I fell in love all over again,” says Cash. “It’s the most incredible experience.”
“Love at first sight,” says Jessica. “It did take a couple of days for it to sink in that I have another baby!”
And while Cash loves his burgeoning family of girls, the situation does have one slight downside.
“There are lots of strong women around,” says Jessica. “If there’s any discussion, Cash doesn’t win. Girls have the majority vote here!”
She told OK! magazine: “When I delivered Haven she was born still inside the amniotic sac, which is rare. The doctor grabbed the nurse and said: ‘Look at this!’ I was in the middle of pushing and he told me to hold on a minute and not to push! He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt and said: ‘Oh I have to get my scrubs on for this!’ The sac burst on its own after she came out. It was a trip.”
“When I was in recovery we still hadn’t chosen her name. Cash picked her up and said she came into the world in her ‘safe haven’ and it clicked right then for both of us.”
OMG. O.M.G. The baby in the amniotic sac! Surprisingly enough, this is not even close to the grossest or most uncomfortable birth story I’ve ever been assaulted with. Please don’t even start. But… you know what I think the funkiest part of the story is? “He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt and said: ‘Oh I have to get my scrubs on for this!’” DUDE. Put your scrubs on before the baby comes out in its own amniotic sac, for the love of God.
Photos courtesy of WENN and OK! Magazine UK.
This is interesting because she said she was pushing. I think her first was a C-section. Good to know she tried for and got a VBAC.
I don’t get grossed out by these kind of things, but I know that makes ME weird, not the people who are skeeved.
I do think the name is totally adorable now that I know the source. Very cute.
God, I was expecting something ghastly like the cord wrapped around her neck and she was blue. This is pretty tame.
Awww! I can’t see the cute pic of Jessica with her daughters and muster up any kind of snark. She may be a mediocre actress but she seems like a loving, devoted mum and they lurve telling grusome birthing stories. I have friends who love to tease us childless girls about what horrors (possibly!) lie ahead.
She didn’t have a c-section with Honor- she had both her babies unmedicated and used the hypnobirthing method.
That is a pretty crazy birth story though.
It’s not a BAD thing for a baby to be born in the amniotic sac. It’s just unusual, because doctors love to use a torture device to break said sac while women are in labour. You know, to “hurry things along.” (Because their time is so much more valuable than ours.)
(Apologies to you, Kaiser.)
Gak. I have a strong stomach for all things BABIES, but that made my throat thicken up. Let’s keep some things a mystery, hmm Jess?
I hate hate hate those 90’s ditsy floral prints. But I love her bags.
why is it gross?
actuallly, i’ve known of babies born in sac, and in certain cultures, it’s considered an ‘auspicious event’, interestingly enough…
there is nothing gross about her story. She was not particularly graphic or anything. I mean, we were all once inside an amniotic sac.
I am quite squeamish around those medical and surgery t.v. shows; i’m not into blood and gore at all-but this??? it’s just a woman giving birth talking about her baby.
Between this story and the one on Christina Ricci eating Mc donalds, I wonder why certain celebs complain about pivacy when they are so willing to spill minute or intimate details of their lives.
I’m all for privicy, but don’t open yourself up so much, then complain later on.
This is WAY tame. way tame.
I certainly will not tell of my birthing story 4 months ago, but let me just say… this is NOTHING. We had a birth trauma and a sick baby. So, this whole amniotic fluid thing is a piece of cake!!!
She is a cute mom, even if she is a flake and a crappy actress.
Oh please that was nothing. The stories don’t bother me but the video of the live births make me want to crawl back in the womb and hide. Oops, was that too graphic?
lol!@kaiser
ur such a drama queen!
i love jessica alba
Very, very tame.
@ Irm – I was thinking the same thing! This is not gross … it is just a birth story. She didn’t give any details about blood, etc. I’m not really an Alba fan but her little antecdote is rather touching.
To be born with a caul is considered an amazing thing.
It is believed that babies born this way are spiritually gifted….
I agree with you Kaiser! When I was growing up, I used to hide under the kitchen table and listen to my mother and her sisters all talk about the birth of their babies – it was then I said, ‘no way’, ‘never in my lifetime’ etc.
I have stayed true to that opinion and have never had kids – since I dont really like kids, the children of america thank me that I am not their mother!
Boy, you guys would hate me. I’d come home from the hospital and dinner conversation would consist of me grossing everyone out when it came time for the “how was your day” question. Hehe.
Tame story though. My first labor was 72 hours long and ended with a janitor mopping the floors while I almost died. I won’t tell you more out of respect for your Eewww-ness:)
Her daughter is adorable! And that really is a sweet story for how they named the new baby. Yikes on the birth story though.
That is awesome! Its so rare to have that kind of birth! most doctors pressure you so they can break your water (to speed up dilation) so they can keep you moving on that medical assembly line!
In college, wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue on and be an Entherstomal Therapy Nurse pf Pediatric (seeing hurt children all day and never being able to have one was a factor). So my sister let me in the delivery room and her dr had me stand behind him so I could get the full effect and see if maybe labor and delivery might be my calling. I was so facsinated, and won’t go into detail; ut complications I complained about as very abnormal months prior were correct and my niece was born w/ jaundice..not to mention my sister needed a lot of surgery to repair the damage the complication and birth caused. I decided then, Etherstomal Therapy was my calling…(working w/ ostomy patients as I have one myself). 6 yrs of putting myself thru school working 60-80 hrs a week between my own numerous operations, cancer battle, etc.. I pushed my self thru clincals against Drs advice to get my degree. I graduated, but never got my license as I wound up back in ICU after all was said and done, and disabled…my regret I let others keep me from pursuing my dream while I could. I’m not that old.. And could have enjoyed helping others for a few yrs before my illnesses tookover..but I am always grateful to have been there there for my sister.
As for how Haven’s name came to be, makes me feel like Jessica is sentimental like I am… That’s how our family picked names..and that safe Haven is such a touching one… She will love to hear at bedtime everynite when she’s 5.. Guarantee it..
Yeah, that’s pretty tame.
Lovely. So now whenever someone asks Haven how she got that name she gets to tell this story.
If you have never given birth (like Kaiser and me) it is cringe worthy, but I it’s probably considered “tame” if you are a mom.
Kaiser, never watch 127 Hours. Stupid James Franco kept saying how “not gory” it was, and I don’t get grossed out easily when it comes to fictional violence in movies, but two things from that movie literally kept me up last night: 1) close up contacts removal scenes (anything with eye gouging makes me shudder); 2) the nerve cutting scene. Screw you, James Franco.
Cash Warren is blessed. Simply blessed.
They come in sacs?? I thought that only happened with puppies and kittens.
It’s supposedly good luck if the kid is born inside the sac. Pretty unusual, I think.
Exaggerate much? I’m still waiting for the gross part.
That’s a wonderful and very special kind of birth – and very un-icky compared to lots of other birth stories! You would not want to hear about the arrival of my twins, that’s for sure…
I don’t know if children are in my future, but I think the chances would go up significantly if I could just skip the pregnancy, birth, and infant part. Actually, I could probably do fine with the pregnancy and birth. It’s just that I absolutely do not like babies and/or anything pertaining to them. I physically shudder if a friend needs me to hold theirs for a moment.
However, I really love kids once they get a bit older (about 3-4 years and up), and would probably enjoy one in my life. I have a suspicion that if I do choose to have a kid, I will go the adoption route purely for the sake of foregoing the early years.
I thought it was a cool story!
Especially since my SIL said that her pregnancy book stated that the 2nd stage of labor starts when your water breaks so hers was only 10 mins long. I told her if that was true then Jessica Alba never had the second stage haha.
Babies born in the sac are supposed to be gifted with a second sight, or something.
But yea…I would prefer if my doctor put on his scrubs before. Although if he wants to mess up his clothes then fine. Labor can get really messy.
And gross…let’s talk about gross. My husband took pictures of me on the OR table. Gross.
That’s more interesting than anything else. But I think births are kind of gross regardless.
I was watching that Baby Story show on TLC a few months ago and this happened with one of the babies. It actually wasn’t any grosser than all of the other regularly-born babies. Not much, anyway. And the mother was thrilled about it since it’s supposed to mean the child will be extraordinary somehow.
Really not that gross, Kaiser. LOL!
Im more curious as to why the doc wasnt wearing scrubs in the delivery suite and had to change only when she was pushing. Thats really bizzare to me. Other than that its not as bad as some stories Ive heard.
This story is actually really nice and tame. Btw I totally agree on the weakness for broken bones stories. When I was 12 I broke my elbow and had surgery for that. A couple of years later I was watching a real life hospital show and someone had that exact procedure done and they showed it. I passed out…
Why is it funny not to wear scrubs in the delivery suite? She’s not sick, giving birth is not an illness or something to be grossed out about. Things don’t need to be so clinical. Yes there’s blood and stuff – but when you deliver babies all the time it’s really no big deal.
Oh what an adorable little story for his poor child to get to tell her whole life about the origin of her name.
You have got to be kidding me.
This is why stupid people should not be allowed to breed.
And I agree – way too much detail. Sorry moms. Childbirth is beautiful but also pretty nauseating – especially for the happily child free.
My doctor delivered me in a tuxedo! He had been at the opera that night and I was born two weeks early. I dont think my mother has ever forgiven me since I was a forceps baby. When my brother was born, my dad was in another hospital with a slipped disc and when my mum called to tell him he had a son he thought it was a joke(my bro was born on April fools day), had to get the doc on the phone to convince him.
I thought she was Hypnobirthing? If so she wouldn’t have been ‘pushing’ at all. You ‘breathe’ the baby down.
I did hypnobabies and sure did push.