The Mail has a long, extensive article about what exactly went down on the night Ashton Kutcher (allegedly) boned Sarah Leal, which was incidentally just days before his sixth wedding anniversary. The incident involved three other naked girls, steaming in the hot tub with a naked Ashton. It involved one of the girls having a boyfriend who had to collect his girl from Ashton’s hot tub. It involved Ashton saying the words, “’Yo, where’s the vodka at” to the boyfriend. That’s when you know someone is trying too hard to sound “cool”. Shouldn’t it be, “Bitch, where the vodka at? And get me a sammich.” Sorry, that’s just what I say when I have four naked dudes steaming in the hot tub with me. “Yo, where’s the vodka at?” is the new “Move that cone, I’m Lindsay Lohan!” Anyway… here’s the full story from the Mail. It’s complicated with all of the secondary characters, but just bear with it:

Ashton Kutcher yelled for vodka as he languished naked in a hot tub with four similarly bare young women, according to a witness present at the actor’s lavish San Diego hotel suite on the night he is alleged to have cheated on wife Demi Moore. The 33-year-old actor should’ve been preparing to celebrate his sixth wedding anniversary with Moore, 48. But instead he enjoyed the company of 23-year-old Texan Sara Leal, with whom he is alleged to have had sex that night in his suite.

Jacques Du Toit, a South African yacht worker, described the sordid scene at the £2,500-a-night ‘top of the rock’ Diamond Suite at the Hard Rock Hotel, to a friend. Du Toit told close friend Gavin Naumoff, 23 , how he hot-footed to the 1,200 sq ft suite, which features an outdoor jacuzzi, after his girlfriend told him she was attending a party in Kutcher’s suite on September 23rd.

‘He was concerned,’ explained party promoter Naumoff to the Mail on Sunday. ‘Jacques is the boyfriend of one of the girls partying with Sara that night, Alexis. He wanted to make sure she was behaving herself.’

But The Mail revealed that it was the pretty blonde from small town McAllen in Texas, who stayed behind that night, before going on to uncover the humble origins that propelled her into the seedy set-up with the married millionaire.

Naumoff recalled the scene that night as Du Toit painted it: ‘Alexis told him Ashton’s room number and when he got there, a bodyguard was at the door who said it was a private party. Jacques explained he was the boyfriend of one of the girls and was let in.

‘He found Ashton in a hot tub on the balcony with Alexis, Sara, a girl called Katie and another girl called Marta. They were all naked. Ashton invited Jacques to join them in the tub.

Apparently, Ashton said, ‘Yo, where’s the vodka at?’ and Jacques was like, ‘’It’s over there but I’m not going to get it.’ So Ashton gets out to get the vodka and that’s when Jacques saw he was butt naked.’

The alleged sexual encounter took place that night after everyone except Sara and her friend Marta had left.

‘Sara is telling everyone 100 per cent that she and Ashton had sex,’ claimed Naumoff. ‘Jacques and Alexis are two of my best friends and Sara is a good friend. If she says she slept with him then I think she’s telling the truth.’

Naumoff, who arranges for good looking girls to be shipped to certain hotspots, also told the newspaper: ‘Sara’s a great girl. My job is to round up hot girls and bus them into clubs in San Diego or Vegas. The girls get free booze, food, whatever, and they attract rich and famous guys to the clubs. It’s a two-way street. The girls get to meet rich men and the guys get what they want.’ Which is? ‘Sex, obviously.’

Pointing proudly to photographs he took recently of a topless Leal, he bragged: ‘She was off her head, we all were. She’s a wild girl and loves to party. She is someone who knows what she wants and is determined to get it.’

Another friend, this time from her schooldays in McAllen, on the border of Mexico in Texas, said that Sara ‘hoped to find a richer older guy to take care of her. She wasn’t great at anything in particular that would have enabled her to make it on her own. But she was good at looking good.’

Leal is yet to speak out publicly about the alleged incident but she has already retained a high powered attorney. He has so far declined to respond to any media calls about his client. She is reportedly letting it be known that she won’t ‘spill the beans’ on Kutcher for less than $250,000, but is hoping she will receive a similar offer from Kutcher to fade away.

Naumoff explained how earlier in the evening, the Two and a Half Men star selected girls at Fluxx nightclub : ‘Ashton was picking out girls who were ‘hot tub worthy or not.’ He would send his friends to hand-pick the prettiest girls from the dancefloor.’

The club’s promoter, Aaron Klose, said: ‘I saw Ashton dancing with several girls, including Sara. Fluxx has the reputation for only allowing the prettiest ones in. Ashton was clearly up for a good night.’

Katie Boggus, a friend of Leal’s from Texas, who allegedly took part in the hot tub high jinks, refused to be drawn on the subject when approached at her San Diego home late Friday by the Mail on Sunday.

The pretty blonde said: ‘Sara is a great person. It’s really sad people are saying mean things about her.’

When asked directly if Leal slept with Kutcher that night, she said: ‘I can’t talk about that.’ Asked about being in the hot tub with a naked Kutcher, she smiled and said: ‘I’m sorry, I can’t say anything about that.’

According to another girlfriend of Leal, she is ‘keeping low’.

[From The Mail]

A few things: Sarah sounds like a straight-up hooker. This isn’t even a “professional party girl” situation where she has a day job and she just moonlights as a party girl. It sounds like Sarah’s job is to be the entertainment for rich clientele. So… is Ashton the first famous married guy she’s ever boned? I feel like this kind of thing happens a lot – meaning that a lot of married men go and have their flings with these party girls/hookers, and for the most part, the women just keep their mouths shut. Why in the world did it come to this kind of blackmail/payoff situation with this girl on this night? Did the Tiger Woods stuff change the game as far as hookers selling their stories? Does every “party girl” think she’s struck it rich as soon as a rich married guy uses her and forgets her name? Ugh, these people. I find them all disgusting.

Photos courtesy of WENN.