Well, well, well. Guess who showed up at the morgue? The Cracken! Huzzah, bitches. She’s so “serious” about her community service that she showed up “early” after tweaking and snorting all g-ddamn night and not sleeping so I’m sure she’s extra twitchy and gross this morning. According to People Mag, LL showed up at 5:35 a.m. PST, 85 minutes before her scheduled 7 a.m. start time. WTF did she do for an hour and a half? It’s just as rude to show up THAT early as it is showing up late.
Assistant Chief Coroner, Ed Winter, who called Linnocent out yesterday (he said that she damn well knew which entrance to use), told the media scrum: “Ms. Lohan completed her orientation this morning and she’s currently working, doing janitorial duties. She’s doing fine. She won’t be handling any dead bodies but she’ll certainly see them.” Her duties allegedly consistent of “mopping floors, washing windows and taking out the garbage.” Oh, we’re never going to hear the end of this, are we? No, no we are not. TMZ already has an anonymously-sourced (Linnocent crack-screeching into her cell phone as she does lines in the ladies’ room) piece on what’s gone down in just the few first hours:
Lindsay Lohan won’t be touching any dead bodies during her stint on morgue duty this morning … but TMZ has learned she’s already come face to face with a real not-live human corpse.
Sources tell us … Lindsay is on sheet-washing duty … and she covered her mouth in horror when she first laid eyes on the blood and fluid stained linens.
We’re told … during her shift, Lindsay saw a dead body in the morgue and seemed “shocked.”
Lohan has just moved on to toilet duty.
Sources also tell us Lindsay appears to be in good spirits … is talking to other people in her group … and is maintaining a positive attitude.
As we previously reported, Lindsay has been ordered to complete 16 hours in the morgue per week until her next hearing.
[From TMZ]
Ed Winters also told the LAT that “She is not getting any special treatment. She’s going to be cleaning toilets, mopping floors and emptying the trash bins.” She’s also one of 15 to 20 people who perform these duties daily. OH! And she only gets a half an hour for lunch, and she has to bring her lunch with her! Ten bucks says she has her assistant bring her something, right? But my favorite Ed Winters quote is this: “If she doesn’t behave, I’m going to ask her to leave.” I love Ed Winters. Ed Winters knows what’s up.
To honor Ed Winters, I’m including some of my favorite Linnocent photos throughout the years. PINK COAT!!! SCREEEEE!!!
Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.
My working theory is that the showed up straight after a party. I mean, 5.35 a.m.? What time would you have to get up to be there so early?
Clearly, she is a changed woman. And yes, showing up that early is unprofessional.
oooohhh. aaaaaahh.
She hadn’t been to bed yet, guaranteed.
And, I would have told her to come back when she was scheduled to work.
Hocked watches > bought crack > can’t be anywhere on time
Maybe she was trying to get there ahead of the media.
Thank you for all the memorable pics, Kaiser! *pours bleach in eyes*
not-live human corpse
i don’t know any alive corpses….
Just gotta love Ed Winters.
Take a look at the Winehouse- esque winged eyeliner. Not a good prognosticator for LaLohan. I am incomplete agreement with those who think she was out all night. Can’t wait to hear about how she gets her fix on the job, & how soon it is before she gets sticky fingers again.
“And, I would have told her to come back when she was scheduled to work.”
ha! and you know she would have gone somewhere to take a “power nap” b/c she was up all night, and she would have slept right through the start time!
I agree…she probably deliberately stayed up all night so she’d be there on time, drugs wore off around 5, she knew she couldn’t take more since it was so close to the start time, so she just headed straight there.
I really hope that the morgue experience will be the thing that changes her. yeah, I have my doubts but being around dead bodies for 120 hours and cleaning up their fluids (yuck) might just be the thing she needs to realize just HOW good she had it, and how lucky she is to not be dead.
which is probably why the judge wanted her to start there, and then do the Women’s Center CS.
God I love that picture!
OH LORD!! The pink coat – picture! Las Vegas hooker – but not the pricy ones.
I´m with you @Lithe. I think we should sit back and see how this works out. At least she turned up, even if it was way too early. The stuff she´s expected to do, is quite creepy. So if she pulls it off, I think she has earned a little respect afterall. It´s not much fun being around corpses, I can assure you!
Her face is seriously whack in that top pic! I wish someone would report on what she shows up wearing for work…….
was she dead when she arrived? cause, I mean seriously…
the pink coat pic! you love that pic! ha it is priceless.
Kaiser, your choice of pix is absolutely perfect! That one in the pink fur coat, EVERY TIME I SEE IT, I hear Rod Stewart singing “Baby Jane”! (And I really like Rod Stewart.)
I’m sure she was “up all night” (I really like Boomtown Rats too!) and went directly there from whatever “private party” she was attending (blowing for blow), just to ensure she made it on time.
Hopefully she will have some sort of earth shattering revelation which will cause her to decide to go away and live on an island and enjoy the rest of her life.
She looks so high in those pictures.
No disrespect intended, but people do not earn my respect for doing court-ordered CS. It is part of their criminal sentence, it is their punishment for being bad citizens. I do not give respect to people for being repeat criminal offenders.
There is also the point that she is being forced by the Judge to comply with her probation.
the picture of Lindsay in white with her eyebrow raised looks like she can’t believe it either…
The lips! WTF with the lips????
Do you think she wore a ton of make-up when she showed up for work so they wouldn’t confuse her with the corpses? Because with the physique and the smell, I’ll bet it’s tough to tell.
Is there a possibility that they send her to Canada for some time? We really do have a lot of roadkill to clean up.
Screeeee!!!! Always and forever. Or until shes OD’s.
I have to agree with what Seal Team 6 says. You don’t deserve respect for doing court-ordered CS.
Dany, what are you doing? We like Canada, remember? We don’t want her here, and the road kill can’t possibly look or smell as bad as the Cracken.
The funniest part to me is because she screwed up the women’s shelter or whatever it was deal because she was too good for it, she was fired and has to work the morgue. Ugh. It would kill me – no pun intended. I love that they put her in there. LOL
Who the hell is giving TMZ a blow by blow account from the morgue?! I mean, it has to be Lindsay. I can’t imagine someone from the morgue calling in tips.
Noooooooooooooo! Don’t send her here! We don’t want her!
I’m with all of those who think she just didn’t go to bed. Was tweaking on meth all night and drove right to morgue after the party was over. TMZ has changed their wording on how much time she has to do before her hearing. They were saying that it was 16 before the next hearing but now it’s 16 per week. I don’t think she’s going to do it.
I just wish the LA court system & everyone that had contact w/Lilo in it would have wised up WAY SOONER. Now we’ve got people like Ed Winters and the LA County Sheriff Lee Baca on video on TMZ saying that Lilo ‘is a sick drug addict who needs jail to beat her demons.’ Baca also said he would make sure that he had enough room to jail Lilo.
By her showing up 85 minutes early this a.m., it’s obvious the last thing she wants is to be confined in jail. I’ve always suspected the Lilo would do almost anything to avoid jail….so why did it take SO LONG for everyone else in LA to get on board w/this?
This is what confounds me. If the court/criminal justice system (and the individual w/in it) would have spoken up like this eons ago…I really think Lilo would have paid attention. Instead, she sneered and laughed at them (LA system & officials) until now.
Anyhow, rude or not….it’s good to see her showing up early.
I really thought we were overs that rancid pink coat pic….I guess I was wrong 🙁
I’m with everyone saying she drove there straight after the party. Tweekers barely sleep, that’s a big part of the reason they look like shit.
“Move that body, I’m Lindsay Lohan!”
15-20 other people there cleaning toilets? Those must be some clean toilet at the end of the day. I mean, how dirty can they get? It’s not like the corpses are using them. Or ARE they?….
In “The Cash is Drying Up” news: Dina is peddling a tell-all. So even mommy-drunkest…. I mean dearest knows that Lindsay’s hitting bottom and is grabbing for some cash.
I think Dina, et. al. should team up with Weston Cage and his chicka hustlers to do a reality show.
Now THAT I’d watch.
All they want is for you to show up on time you fucking idiot, this just shows once again that she doesn’t take anyone but herself into consideration. People have work to do, preparation for your stupid ass to come in, you don’t go throwing people off schedule as they actually have important jobs to do!! Ugh this is just enraging, I do hope it’ll teach her something, maybe cleaning toilets will humble her a smidgen.
Wow, even more obvious she finally gotten much needed botox between her brows! She is such a scowler and needed to stop the filler and start the ‘tox. And I say this as an anti “oh, she’s gotten botox,” person b/c it’s so overused/misused (please don’t utter those words until you’ve actually gotten botox yourself b/c it’s pretty hard to recognize unless you’ve seen firsthand)… 🙂
And lol at the comments regarding showing up too early. Heh. Yes, I think showing up 40 minutes *early* this time would have been more than sufficient.
I really wish Sautner hadn’t opened the door with her ‘if she wants to mitigate any potential sentence if she is found in violation, do a minimum of 16 hours at the morgue.’ Because OF COURSE Linnocent is going to cram on those community service hours because when her back is against the wall, that’s the only time she does anything. I hate to think that this disingenuous behavior is going to result in a lighter sentence.
Although, I was thinking: I might prefer more probation instead of jail. Hear me out! Transfer ALL her hours to the morgue, add some more for the violation and tighten up the time to complete her service to the point where she basically would have to do her morgue service four to five days a week in order to complete. Eight hours days, menial labor with no opportunity to wait to the last minute to cram. Drug and alcohol testing would be nice, too.
As much as I’d like to see her ass thrown in jail, I just feel that if it were to happen, she’d be out quickly enough for it to not make a difference.
Turtle Dove – Milo Jr. is older and college educated, so unless something really drastic happens, I can’t see him joining “tha biz.”
Ali already has her modeling contract (and I’m certain WO is taking her 15% off the top) so she’s set.
Last child to pimp is Cody, so WO better to crackin’ (HA!) on Beiber-ising him so she has another child to pimp to death.
Once Linnocent dies (and she will, probably soon) WO will collect that life insurance check and publish her book, so that Lilo isn’t alive to dispute any of the *ahem* material in it.
BET. ME.
What in the heck is she wearing with the jewelry and the outfit that she showed up in ?! I guess they give her some kind of jumpsuit to borrow? Hazmat? She looks ridiculous showing up dressed up so….ridiculously (sorry, no other way to say it). Showing up 15-20 mins early, in decent jeans, would have been appropriate.
Hopefully she ends up in one of the drawers soon enough and we don’t have to hear about this f’ing waste of oxygen again.
I think we should all chip in and send Ed Winters a fruit basket or something for calling out the Cracken.
I think Linnocent managed to send a text to Mother Crackhead via her Crackberry regarding her work at the morgue. Mother Crackehead sent TMZ the tip and they split the cash, with Mommy Dearest still taking her 15%.
LINOCENT (Nicole) Must be at the front door of the morgue,begging to Free LL..
Or asking the court if she can do lindsays CS for her…been gone all day
I nominate Ed Winters for the next HGF!
the Original Bellaluna – I duuno if anyone would buy the youngest as a Bieber. He seems like a good kid, but with that mother you never know how he’ll turn out. Hopefully, he goes off to college and starts a career nothing related to the entertainment field.
Dina would be wiser to wait to publish the book, but she’ll probably do one before and a follow up. Leave the gristly details until postmortem.
I know that this link has been posted, but I’m going to repost (don’t shank me). The downward evolution of this girls looks is nothing short of shocking. Lindsay HAD enviable beauty:
http://www.usmagazine.com/stylebeauty/photos/lindsay-lohan-20092010/4692
Seriously, why doesn’t anyone tell her how bad that makeup and hair color are.
Eccch! Put these photos back in the crack crypt!! Open in 10 days when Halloween is here.
@Cheylynne: The picture at the top isn’t from today. Today she showed up with curled hair, a black hoodie and black jeans/pants. I couldn’t tell but it looked like her shoes had a heel to them.
So in summary: still ridiculous.
thanks kaiser for the ungaro picture,always scares the crap outte me
Crackie corpse community service. Lilo should drink some fresh blood while she is slumbering in a metal coffin drawer. Her witchy mother Dina should check in permanantly.
Wow! She looks so old, hard, washed-up, just…ugh! She’s only 25? Remember when she and Hilary Duff were fighting in the media over Aaron Carter? Wow! I just can’t believe this is the same person. 5 years ago!! She needs to stop the drugs and alcohol, stop the fillers, change her hair color and sleep for at least a month. She looks like the walking dead. Very sad!
Dear Lindsay,
There is nothing to be stated that I have not stated before…Lindsay please get your shyte together before you actually end up being the body in the morgue. I know you don’t have the most stable parents, they have not set a good example.But do this for yourself. Your a grown women and this is your life, you can either get yourself together and have one of the best comeback stories or you can die a tragic tale, it’s up to you!
Dear Lindsay,
There is nothing to be stated that I have not stated before…Lindsay please get your shyte together before you actually end up being the body in the morgue. I know you don’t have the most stable parents, they have not set a good example.But do this for yourself. Your a grown women and this is your life, you can either get yourself together and have one of the best comeback stories or you can die a tragic tale, it’s up to you!
Turtle Dove – Oh, we agree. Male children are MUCH harder to pimp out than females. (i.e. Toddlers in Tiaras.)
Appropriate that Linnocent is working at the morgue, since she’ll be an “occupant” there herself in less than 2 years.
@bellaluna*waves*,milo jr is younger then lindsay,she is the eldest of the rat pack
As an Angeleno I have an alternative explanation for her early arrival. There are times when i have to be across town or in the Valley for an 8:30 calendar in court. As neither judges nor clients look favorably on tardiness, I have to leave early enough to compensate for rush hour traffic and any potential accidents. This often puts me at my destination much earlier than necessary. Here’s the difference though—I just chill somewhere and do some work or check in here.
I agree that she was probably up all night and then left early to beat traffic and ensure a timely arrival. Most of us would have cooled our heels around the corner until it was a more appropriate time to show up—but then we dont believe that the world revolves around us.
MichaelJLohan Michael Lohan
@Lindsaylohan I am willing to bend but UNwilling to break
5 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply
Looks like her dad is doing some tough love
OMG, hahahaha, check this out!
Someone Little Miss Crackypants knows placed an order for 36 cupcakes to be delivered to the morgue, but the delivery boy was turned away when he got there.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/21/lindsay-lohan-morgue-coroner-cupcakes/
I’ll bet that Dina placed that order. WO isn’t having any luck getting her bakery items on either coast, lol! No ice cream cake in NY and no cupcakes in LA. Poor thing, all that money spent to bribe them wasted.
@ HannahF – ain’t that the truth! When my cousin picks up his daughter from dance class, he has to leave work an hour before her mom drops her off for the one-hour class, to get there in time!
Danielle – Still loving that cone! *waves* Thank you. I thought Milo Jr. was the eldest. But he is still college-educated (prob on Lindsay’s dime) if I’m not mistaken.
HannahF – Word. You “plan” for traffic and accidents when you live in SoCali, and enjoy Starbucks or Einstein’s and WiFi if you’re early. That’s just how it’s done!
Silly crackhead!
“Screeeeee!” used to be my favorite, but now I’m leaning toward “Pink Coat.” Color me fickle.
I’ll bet the FIRST thing she did was look around for that big jar of embalming fluid to dip her doobies in.
I’m jumping on the bandwagon with Seal Team and Lady D. She’s not ‘volunteering’ folks, she’s not only ORDERED but FORCED to do it quickly to “mitagate a potential sentence”. And its only DAY 1 and its not even over yet. No pat on the back, no ‘atta girl’ for doing whats SHE’S SUPPOSE TO DO! We’ll see. . .
Bess
I agree TMZ’s tipster is WO. I HIGHLY doubt Blohan can have her crackberry with her, its probably put away in a locker. Here’s how you can tell its WO. If the ‘source’ is positive and saying ridicuously good things, its WO. This is WO just guessing about how well her ‘child’ is doing, trying to get some positive press, and make a little coin. Its a win win for WO. She gets to sit back, in her overstuffed LazyBoy, guzzling Long Island Iced Teas, snorting her Rose Quartz, while making a quick buck.
Oh, by the way, I DID IT! I have several of them and I’ll change them when the mood strikes me. Yes, I’m sending much thanks and gratitude, first to Morticians for thinking up the ‘cone’ party hats, which ‘inspired’ me and of course, to Danielle, who with her ‘vision’ got me motivated to figure out the gravatar stuff.
Danielle, if your offened I copied you, I will change it immediately.
“Most of us would have cooled our heels around the corner until it was a more appropriate time to show up—but then we dont believe that the world revolves around us.”
Hannah, not only is she egocentric, I firmly believe that if she had done just that, she would have crashed and would have slept thru the start time.
She may have planned her timing thinking she’d arrive right around 7. But when she got there early, it was either:
1) do more drugs to stay awake – BAD IDEA to report to CS while high (though I think she WAS high in court)
2) try to take a quick nap in the car (but she knew she’d crash for hours) or
3) report right away and hope they give you credit for the time before the official start time.
so, she’s with a group of others doing community service — just imagine the contacts she’s lining up…
in all seriousness, as someone who’s been too long on the entitlement train, i don’t doubt this is going to have an impact on her. the atmosphere alone — knowing there are several dead people in the rooms you are walking thru; not to mention the type of clean-up she’ll be doing. this isn’t discarded paper from administrators — this is hardcore. it’s either gonna scare her straight, or — more likely — ensure she arrives at work blitzed completely out of her skull.
@madisyn,im not offended,im glad you figured it out,i say cones all around!!!!
Someone needs to use an orange cone emblazoned with a big Laverne “L” on it for their gravatar…that would be funny.
Yup…I agree she is in a position where she HAS to do this. She really has no choice if she wants to avoid jailtime and even that’s not a given at this point.
And don’t get me started on Cupcakegate. I’m so glad Ed Winter threw the guy out (not that it’s the delivery guys fault) and gave LL a stern talking to. What a moronic idea. Is this the same fool that thought it would be cool or funny to show up to court with FU on her fingernails?
“no ‘atta girl’ for doing whats SHE’S SUPPOSE TO DO!”
Madisyn, was that a reference to the Chris Rock bit when he’s talking about how men want credit for stuff they’re supposed to do?
“I take care of MY kids!”
CR: MFer, you’re SUPPOSED to!”
(or something like that…)
Great bit!
http://www.x17online.com/celebrities/lindsay_lohan/lindsay_lohan_cant_catch_a_break.php
remember this??…people should go like this for halloween
Danielle
Your an angel! Thanks for letting US BOTH use the cones. Wouldn’t it be funny if all the regulars chose DIFFERENT cone pics for their gravatars?
Praise
No. I know NOTHING about Chris Brown except for the Rhianna stuff. I’m WAAYY out of the Chris Brown demographic, so I have NO IDEA what your talking about. I’m old enough to be his mother and and ole white broad who likes her rock-n-roll hard. ‘Atta Boy’ or ‘Atta Girl’ just means ‘good job’.
TMZ Live is takin about In n Out burgers and cupcakes. And they ripped Dina and Michael to an extent. Good stuff Maynard!
The posters on Dlisted are coming up with possible titles for Dina’s memoir. Some of them are hysterical.
Rumor Fix must be paying Mother Crackhead now. They’re getting her exclusive denial about her upcoming book.
“Dina Lohan is writing a book, but it’s not about Lindsay’s troubled partying past, RumorFix has learned exclusively.
“This is just a complete lie. We will go after them,” mama Lohan tells us.
“There’s someone out there spewing lies about myself and my children– and we know who it is … There’s some litigation going on. We have to find him,” Dina says in an exclusive interview to RumorFix.
Dina says the memoir being shopped is a positive self-help book dealing primarily with abusive relationships, not about any of her children’s dark secrets.
“Its time to write the book to set the record straight but It’s about the horrible domestic violence my children and I survived. There is no way I would talk negatively about any one of my children EVER.”
Dina tells RumorFix, someone is out to get her and she wants to put a stop to it.”Someone is trying to spin the book to destroy me before the book even comes out and we all who that is. They wrote her partying mom! I never partied with my kids in my life!”
http://rumorfix.com/2011/10/exclusive-dina-lohan-on-lindsay-tell-all-this-is-a-complete-lie/
Madisyn…Chris ROCK…not that woman-beater Chris Brown. the comedian, not the “musician”.
Rock has a bit as described above where he spits out things like “I take care of my kids” and “I ain’t never been to jail!”
and so on.
This has probably been said already, but I hope that she gets the “opportunity” to see what a dead drug addict looks like. I doubt it would affect her, but maybe it would give her a bit of a scare. This might be a stupid question, but is the first picture her arriving at the morgue? She arrived wearing that?
ok off to work ladies to put in my 8 hours,its club night and garth brooks weekend so wish me luck,have a great day
madisyn save me a cracktini for later!!
how the hell can anyone show up at past 5AM and stay awake for the whole day volunteering? She must have been doing drugs before she showed up
So Cupcakegate also included In-N-Out burgers for lunch that actually made it in? Nice gestures under the right circumstance but talk about going overboard.
The other people in her crew are there to do CS as well. It’s supposed to be work, a punishment, not fun, an opportunity to smarten up and learn a life lesson or two….it’s not a freaking birthday party. These people really have no clue about what’s appropriate in the real world do they?
She does realize that the best thing she can do for herself between now and her upcoming court date is to quietly in a non-dramatic fashion do her CS hours at the morgue and have some quiet at-home time. No parties, no bars, no red carpets, no pap photos, no drama. Right? Right? Oh…hell who I am kidding Dina is out there visiting we’ll have pap shots out in LA all weekend.
Hopefully, when she looks at a dead body in there she can actually see that they look better than she does. I am so over her and yet I cant look away.
“I guess they give her some kind of jumpsuit to borrow? Hazmat?”
@Chey, they wear disposable coveralls and shoe covers (at the very least).
*waves at the original Bella*
@Madisyn, I never got a chance to respond to you on the other thread, but I would LOVE to see you in an orange traffic cone hat! Guess your current picture will have to do for now 😉
Praise
I’m an idiot, sorry. Love Chris ROCK and seen alot of his comedy routines but I don’t recognize that bit.
Bess
What is this, the third or fourth EXCLUSIVE to RumorFix? Now were insinuating Michael Lohan is behind this? How the fvck would he know about her shopping a book around to NY publishers? Its not like he has ‘connections’. A book about domestic abuse is serious. Having a book about Dina and her children and how they ‘survived’ domestic abuse at the hands of Milo, who the fvck would buy that crap?
(And by ‘crap’, I mean ANYTHING that would come out of that professional pimps mouth. Please save your comments to me how I’m not taking domestic violence seriously, I’m talking about THIS GRIFTER using a SERIOUS FORUM for her own personal financial gain. Yes she was abused by Michael, yes Michael is violent fvck who deserves the absolute worst, but so does this cvnt)
OhMyMy
The problem with cupcakegate and the In ‘n’ Out burgergate is the obvious CONFLICT OF INTEREST. It appears she’s trying to garner favoritism. You do gestures like this, when you have nothing to gain. This is just plain wrong.
On a much lighter note, lets all have a cracktini in celebration of Blohans first morgue day.
Cheers all! Great idea Madisyn!
@Madisyn: Agreed about the conflict of interest. That’s why he turned the cupcakes away at the door. He also said on the TMZ story that NO burgers were eaten by the staff. It’s an obvious play on her part to make them like her cause she’s just so nice. *barf* There was absolutely no reason for her to give goodies to the other CS peeps on her team…she didn’t need to apologize to them for being late yesterday. Just inappropriate all around.
If she had wanted to send something like that the right time would be on her last day or the day after she left but then only with appropriate permission. Which it doesn’t sound like they would grant her.
Lindsay…all that is required of you is to show up on time, dressed appropriately, do the work they tell you to do, don’t cause any drama, don’t give any arguments and then go home. Repeat the next day until you have your hours in. That’s it. You’re not there to have people like you.
Truthfully if I was there working on that team I would’ve eaten my yogurt or tuna sandwich or whatever I had brought for my lunch and I would not have touched anything from her.
Danielle & Morticians
Join Belle and I around the vat under the big ‘orange cone’ umbrella for double cracktinis and lobster with melted crack butter.
*Saving cracktini’s, hiding booze* for when Danielle gets off work.
Cheers Diane *clinking glasses*
OhMyMy
EXACTLY. Last day or day after, WITH PERMISSION TO SEE IF APPROPRIATE. But again, anything for the grift. If she can curry favor, especially with the staff, she thinks she’ll be able to come late or slack off with the work. Everything this wench does is only to benefit her. This was not a magnanimous gesture by any means. Everything this bitch says or does is INAPPROPRIATE!
Sorry I’m late everyone, had to make a quick run to the coroner’s office to use the bathroom.
@Bess: Titles for Dina’s book? Here are my ideas:
Crack-22
The Old Man and the Sea Jasper
A Sale of Two Titties
Hairy Pothead
To Snort a Mockingbird
The Lying, The Bitch, and the Whore Drove
1984 (violations)
Lyndzie and the Cocaine Factory
Whore of the Rings
and
Dina, Lyndzie, and Ali: The Three Cracketeers.
if i were at the morgue i would interpret showing up 85 mins early is a smart ass move. I bet she is late next time.
If Demi Moore and Lindsay lohan could shed some baggage, gain a little booty, it would be cool to see them in a film together.
Bitch was seriously channeling Courtney Stodden in the pic with the pink.
She and Dilo need to be “Chris Browned” into reality. It’s something neither have ever been familiar with! Keeping it real pole lizards!
HA HA HA HA HA HA
Wow…did WO *really* say that she has ‘never partied with her children’? Aren’t there tons pictures floating about refuting this claim?
Did WO really say that she has “never partied with her children”? Aren’t there tons of pictures out there of her doing just that? Maybe in LohanLand, alochol is not a party drug? I don’t get it. These people have people (if you know what I mean) advising them on their public statements. Rule number one in PR is don’t lie.
Sorry for the double post – my net crashed and I didn’t think the first ‘took’
Dawning Red
Brilliant, just brillant. Nuff said. LMAO
Mich
Just a month ago there’s tons of photos of WO and Blohan in NYC during Fashion Week, topping off the evening with Blohan throwing a drink at the event organizers official photographer.
After that, on another night we had WO and Blohan partying it up for WO’s 49th birthday and pics of her youngest 15 year old son, looking bored and disgusted out of his gore watching the mother/daughter make-out session.
I know I’ve asked this question ad nauseum but why lie about something so blatanly false and easily provable? The ONLY time WO is photographed is when she IS partying with Blohan.
Yeah, WO NEVER parties with her children.
Evil, repulsive, contemptible, loathsome, despicable, wretched, vile piece of shit.
Hairy Pothead and the Order of the Crackhead.
Clan of the Crackbear.
The Family von Crack
The Cracken of Oz
Law and Disorder: Lohan Victims Unit
The Real Lohans of Long Island
Law Abiding Crackhead
Law and Order: Crack Intent
InCRACKtion
Blowesque
Chicrackgo
Natural Born Lohans
Pirates of the Crackabbean
Inglorious Lohans
I would pay good, solid, TONS of cash for IN-n-Out right now. I do MISS me some SoCali food! And don’t even get me started on the nastiness that is considered Mexican food up here. I can’t. I. JUST. CAN’T. (Suffice to say that while Rice-a-Roni may be “the San Francisco treat” it should never, EVER be an ingredient in Mexican food. E.V.E.R.)
*waves @ the Usual Suspects – you know who you are!*
I don’t see how it’s even humanly (KEY WORD: HUMANLY) possible for WO to claim she NEVER parties with her children when there are pix of her WITH Linnocent AT the event where Linnocent THREW A DRINK, GLASS AND ALL, at somebody. (Not to mention Lardassian’s peep-show of a wedding. And Ali was there too!)
(I kinda like “Weavy Crackhead and the Order of the Phoenix” because, like the Phoenix, she just keeps rising from the ashes and never dies. Crackroach that she is.)
I sincerely hope the fact that Lindsay lied to the Head Honcho about the cupcakes maks it into her probation report. I’m not really sure that “truth” is an actual, meaningful concept for these people. It’s like they say whatever is best for them at any given moment–even if can easily be proven to be a lie.
And where is my cone avatar? Ladies, feel free to share! *smiles most charming smile and hands out Shots of Delusion followed by double cracktinis* 😉
guys, I have to say something.
I personally am in a very vulnerable place right now.
To recapture it short, a lot of my former friends think I have had an affair with a married friend of ours.
I didnt. I serioulsy didnt.
Not even a kiss.
Anyhow, people hate me right now. To the guts. They hate me. All of them.
I feel really bad, and I just can assume how it must be for Linday Lohan to be hated all over the world.
It´s the worst feeling.
So, despite all her selfish, egotastic act, right now, I feel for a girl, who is bullied all over the internet.
So despite everything.
Ask yourself (just today): how would it feel like to be hated, bullied and despiced all over the world.
Believe me, Lindsay suffers from that.
Maybe it´s her worst punishment.
Maren – Are you okay? CB has my permission to give you my e-mail address. If CB won’t, meet me at the chat room introduced a few Linnocent posts back, and I will give it to you. (CB, please put that link through. I can’t edit my second comment.)
belle
Do you want me to send you some ‘cones’?
Check your in-box. I’ll be awaiting your reply.
I’m finally having a cracktini, its time. Want one?
Boo
I was thinking the exact same thing when the second TMZ story appeared. She initially told the Deputy Director, ‘I know nothing about it’. Then her rep said ‘it was her and her idea’. Someones lying and since I’m a betting woman, my monies on Blohan.
This twit just doesn’t ‘think’ before she ‘speaks’.
Maren – here’s the link: http://www.hezzer19.org/chat/
I’m there. (CB, please put this through. I can’t edit. And I’m worried.)
Mad – I’ll check it. And yes, I’d love some cones! And a cracktini. And I’m worried about Maren.
wo link
fdsgfdgdghghfgh
YAY! My name-sake photo!!! It makes me so happy every time. Glorious.
Dawning Red (and Madisyn) I am PISSING MYSELF laughing at those titles!
Everybody Cracks
Twilight (is a good time to do drugs cos visibility is quite low)
Hunger Games (when your Momager hides the food cos you may be cracked out, but there’s no reason to look more bloated than you do already)
Me & My Spoon
Mean Girls (GOD, JUDGES SUCK!!)
Herbie (a drug for pussies)
The Parent Trap (I feel bad that *I’m* what burst through her loins sometimes)
A Million Little Lines
Find Your Own Crack
My Time to Snort
The Life of Amy Winehouse (and why the fuck doesn’t anybody think I’m as talented as her??! WHERE’S MY GRAMMY?! MOVE THAT TALENT!!)
Well good for her for showing up. *sarcastic clapping*
I don’t think she will learn anything from her time spent at the morgue. Don’t forget, she’s already been there before, so her chances of having an epiphany are very slim. She’ll do her, “Oh, Judge, it was a truly life changing experience. I learned so much. I’ve changed. I’ve grown. Blah, blah, blah.” She’s full of crap. She’ll say whatever she thinks the Judge wants to hear, so she doesn’t get thrown in jail on the 2nd. She is a sociopath.
Oh, and for all those people asking what’s on her arm, (on the other threads). It’s a tattoo, not a bruise. It’s the outline of a little girl sleeping. She said she liked the “innocence” of the image. She got it just before she went to jail, I don’t know which time, and she never got it finished. It looks like crap, as do most of her tattoo’s.
#41 @bellaluna. That is exactly what’s going to happen. That HOrrific mother-like creature has written that book selling her daughter out, absolving herself of any responsibility and is biding her time until Linnocent ODs. She is the WORST.
Ahh those photos always make my day.
belle
We’ve been talkin on the phone for six hours`straight, beat that bitches.
She could have had a decent career if she hadn’t acted like a spoiled, entitled a-hole on that one movie she did w/Jane Fonda. That was the beginning of the end for her. Her Disney movies made over 100 mil and she is apparently only worth about 500 grand at this point. Another 5 years, if she is still going at this rate, she will end up living in a shelter on Skid Row, and no one will care anymore.
Just got home what a cracked out night at work,drinking my cracktini with great haste thanks to madisyn saving me one…yay nice to be home!
lindsaylohan Lindsay Lohan
How do u manage to get and eye abrasion from, z(he dentist’s office!!!!!!!!!!!! Night Night xx
1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply
Tweeking!
@the original bellaluna
thats so sweet of you. thanks i´m fine. missed the chat, though, but thanks for the link. I fell asleep after I posted (it was late overhere).
the thing is, I seriously feel like having not done anything wrong (thats what lindsay feels the entire time) and seemingly the majority of my friends keeps bullying, and gossiping and turning a really good relationship I once had in some kind of sketchy affair. It hurts so so much to be hated and therefore, yes, right now I am in a position, where I feel a lot for Linds.
thanks again for your warm words.
@maren *waves*,i dont know you but,its not like we are hating on lindsay,more like frustrated and disappointed,im sure you dont have the track record she does,lindsay put herself in this situation,and she has had numerous chances to do the right the things,but does not,no one wants to be hated on,lindsay has built up a thick skin,in that industry you have to,she welcomes any publicity she can get,be it good or bad,ole saying”better talked about,then not talked about at all”…im sorry your friends are being cruel,but there again,have you asked yourself,”are these really my friends”?
Holy smokes. With those fish lips and that double chin she is starting to look like a hard 35. Do you suppose she is capable of looking at these photos of herself and thinking ‘hmmm, not a good look for me’ ??
It really is a mystery how her disturbed brain works.
Hi everyone!
I’m surprised that no one tried to put her in a coffin.
Update
Days of CS/Jail?/Hrs/Wkly?
Firecracker – 1/Yes/16 Wkly
Diane – 1/YES
MacScore – 1/Yes
Green Eyes – 2/Yes/16 wkly
WTF – 3/YES/16 Total
Newtsgal – 4/Yes
Madisyn – 2/Yes/16 Total
Nemesis Rose
“I don’t think she will learn anything from her time spent at the morgue. Don’t forget, she’s already been there before, so her chances of having an epiphany are very slim”.
You said it, baby. A DECADE of entitlement on one side. One measly 8 hour working day on the other? *balancing scales in my hand* No, she isn’t going to learn dick. Not even after 3 solid weeks (which is her 120 hrs) of morgue duty. Not gonna happen.
Maren
Bellaluna was soooo worried about you last night. We waited for you in ‘chat’. Please stay the course. Anyone who doesn’t believe you, gossips about you, and bullies you are NOT your friends. If you need to talk, I’ll get Belle and we can all talk in chat or you two can talk on your own. If you did nothing, TRY not to feel bad and hold your head up high. Feel better.
Dawning Red
*laughing hysterically* Get the fvck outta here! LOVING IT!
Danielle
LOOK what you started! Cracktini before work? I’m having one, want to join?
Now theres F O U R of us and counting. You, Belle, Dawning, and me. LMFAO
Madisyn,
You’re probably 100% right about the morgue duty not having an impact on Linnoncent, but I keep holding out a sliver of hope that maybe a little of the real world will seep into her brain during the CS. If that happens, there’s a chance Linnocent will start accepting help for whatever is going on inside her head.
Bess
I don’t hold out hope. But you go ahead and give her the benefit of the doubt. Remember what we talked about before? B R B
WHERE IS MY TWIN?
Agree that morgue duty will do nothing except confirm in her mind that she really is too good for work, too good for other people, and wrongly maligned. Just like always.
I was cleaning the toilet today (I’m such a jerk–I have to do this all the time! It isn’t punishment *for me*–just my life) and was thinking about this “team” of 20 CS-ers…how many toilets are there in that morgue that 20 people have to clean them…I mean, maybe it’s the whole coroner’s office, okay, but even still…not lot of toilets. Does this place save money by never needing actual janitorial staff? I hope so–recoup some of the losses that criminals like Lindsay force on the city of LA with her ridiculous antics.
Reports that she was friendly and social with the staff and other CS-ers make me crazy. She’s normally pushy, rude, entitled, and obnoxious, eye-rolling and glass-throwing her way through life, but suddenly, she turned into Mary Sunshine? I don’t buy it, and if she was actually managing to ACT it convincingly, that act will shrivel into the viper pit of entitlement that usually lives in her face and in her heart.
@Madisyn:
Thanks, I always try to bring a bit of insanity everywhere I go!
But I do have to disagree with your comment “No, she isn’t going to learn dick.” Because if there’s anything Lyndzie DOES know, it’s dick!
She probably has a doctorate in dick, with a minor in crack. Majored at Whorevard, of course!
More book title suggestions for White Oprah:
Are you there, Mom. It’s me, Cody.
Little Crackhouse on Long Island
The 10 Habits of Highly Ineffective People
The Best Little Whore House in Venice or Best Little Crack House in Venice, take your pick.
Dolly would NOT be proud.
*Waves,with cracktini in hand*
More book title ideas
1.The how to book:Pimping out your girls
2.The joys of self entitlement
3.The life and times of my cracken
More title suggestions for Dina:
Lohan Hears a Whore
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
The Slut in the Hat
Sweet Valley High School Dropout
Goosehumps
Who Moved My Crack?
Move Those Cone-Heads
The Devil Wore No Panties
Little Whorehouse on the Prairie
Diary of a Slutty Kid
Alcoholics Unanimous!
I know it’s typical to rip on her on this site, and I’m not going to pretend I’ve never posted a snarky comment about our Linnocent, but HEY she’s doing the thing. I hope she keeps it up and if at least NOTHING ELSE is gained from her experience( as is likely) she’ll have at least finally done what was required of her. And all the people who work with the dead bodies will have clean toilets to poo in.
LL only does the minimum required to stay out of jail. Therefore, her attendance at the morgue does not indicate any type of attitude shift.
Danielle
*clinking glasses* Raises a cracktini to you and Dawning Red and our ‘cones’.
You know, if you turn the cones upside down, makes for ONE HUGE ASS drinking receptical.
HannahF
Completely agree, no attitude shift. Minimum and last minute requirements only. A decade of entitlement vs. 3 weeks of morgue work, (if she even bothers to complete it) won’t change her one iota.
@Madisyn, lobster with melted crack butter?
Whoa! We’re getting fancy now. How did we manage to work that into the budget? Are you doing some freelance “modeling” on the side like Count Crackula?
I’m having a gas reading all your proposed titles for Dina’s book. I went on to dlisted, and the posters are also doing the same over there. My favorite over there is: “ONE FLEW OVER THE FAKE ROCKETTE!”
Hahahahaha! To funny! Love everyone’s suggestions! Keep ’em comin’!
I’m testing my new gravatar–I had to change my name a bit ;-(
Morticians
Green Eyes gave us the lobster with crack butter. Our budget only allows for an endless supply of booze. With all the ‘home improvements’ we do around the vat, like adding the giant ‘cone’ umbrella, not much is left for extravagance like lobster. But its much appreciated.
As for the freelance ‘modeling’, my knees are clean as a whistle. No scrapes and no rug burns, I assure you.
hannahff
Thats great, joining belle, Dawning Red, Danielle, and myself I see. LMAO
hey all, check out Lindsay in this little clip…it’s from her recent trip/appointment with a European John:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NwSfmwB76s&feature=related
SEVEN hours and cunting
Maren, I’m sorry for what you are going through. Hopefully it will sort itself out.
Honestly, I don’t think Lindsay is capable of understanding that people ‘hate’ her because unlike you, she has a personality disorder. Nonetheless, point taken. I hope Bella Luna got through to you.