I finally caught an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, haven given up my stance that I couldn’t watch it anymore after learning that Taylor Armstrong’s husband killed himself following filming for this season. (I could only hold out a few weeks.) They’ve ratcheted up the drama and bitchiness and have a new scapegoat in Brandi Glanville. Kim Richards is so looped and drugged out of her mind that you can no longer understand most of the things she says. It’s hard to watch, and the women are getting even more catty and nasty, probably at the insistence of producers. Brandi comes across very well. She did get angry and lashed out at the women last week (accusing Kim of doing crystal meth in the bathroom, which may have been accurate given Kim’s behavior) but she was just defending herself. I find her likable, normal and much more relatable than any other cast member.

One of the more colorful secondary characters is Adrienne Maloof’s bitchy chef, Bernie. We saw Bernie tut-tutting this week as Adrienne’s neighbor Lisa Vanderpump attempted to show Adrienne how to cook a chicken. Adrienne actually put dish soap on the chicken while attempting to clean it, (you can watch that here) and she was so surprised that this was not acceptable that it didn’t seem like a put on to me. Maybe it’s just easier for her to look surprised since her face is permanently frozen in that position.

Bernie hates Lisa, and he’s been shown bitching about her on the show. He gave an hilariously snarky interview to the National Enquirer about her this week, and it could just be cleverly disguised promotion for Real Housewives. I can imagine the show’s creators telling him to fight with Lisa and say rude things about her. If that’s the case it’s brilliant to mix up the feuds like this. Either way, these quotes need to be repeated:

Wealthy Brit Lisa has targeted her co-star’s chef in a trashy Twitter campaign, complaining that he’s getting too much on-air time.

And that’s left a bad taste in Bernie’s mouth.

“I dislike ‘the Brit’ because she’s rude and treats people, like me, as if we are all HER servants!” fumed Bernie, who has served up gourmet fare for such celebs as Drew Barrymore, and Will and Jada Smith.

“Lisa uses that condescending accent of hers to be disrespectful, and I will no longer tolerate her ‘better than thou’ attitude!”

The feud started simmering last year when Lisa, who owns Beverly Hills restaurant Villa Blanca, insulted Bernie’s cooking at Adrienne’s Christmas party – in front of hundreds of high-profile guests.

“Lisa- who was living directly across the street from Adrienne – showed up two hours late and then complained because most of the food was gone!” the 39-year-old chef divulged.

“I cooked a lot of food, including four turkeys and a ton of side dishes… it must have been delicious because the guests ate it up!”

When Lisa then made a negative comment about the kind of food being served, Bernie defended his cooking – and Lisa was “mortified” that he had the gall to answer her back, he says.

“The next day I talked to Adrienne about it, and she told me to never let anyone disrespect me and told me even when I am on duty I could always defend myself.”

Lisa is also furious about comments Bernie has made about her on the show.

“I believe my remarks have send the Wicked Witch of the West into a complete frenzy!” he said.

Bernie also takes issue with Lisa letting her… Pomeranian Giggy sit at the dining table, joking that he was going to deep fry the pup!

“Don’t get me wrong, I love animals but not at the table – and certainly not drinking out of crystal,” he said.

According to Bernie, Lisa has taken her complaints to Bravo execs in an attempt to reduce his screen time.

“Obviously, they didn’t listen,” he added, “because I am on the air more than ever!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 7, 2011]

That dude is 39? Really? I love that Adrienne told him to defend himself, and that he’s standing up against Lisa. As we saw in this week’s episode, Adrienne really needs him. He’s hilarious too, I love his facial expressions, and people want to see him on camera. Also, that was so trashy of Lisa and her husband Ken to let their dog sit at the table with them and drink right out of the glasses! Who knows what was set up by producers, though.